All About Autism
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Hi tyeogh!
I read your post and know that compliance is really an issue with your child. Actually my child is low functioning and compliance is also an issue. I work with her under the guidance of the ABA behaviorists for the last 4 years. Compliance problems are still there but it limits to the situation when I demand a termination of a highly preferred activity.
It is so true that parents of children with ASD need to work harder for the emotional, cognitive and social development of the child.
I have attended a lot of workshops on parent training e.g. Hanen, Floortime, ABA and RDI. I also stay with my child when she goes for therapy to learn how to work with her at home. After 2 years of therapy at a clinic using Floortime strategy, 6 months with a RDI trainer and 4 years with a clinic using ABA strategy. I decided that ABA is the most suitable strategy to teach my child who has very limited language ability (both receptive and expressive), low ability in compliance and short attention span.
Right now, I am pursuing a master degree in ABA with emphasis in Autism. This degree course is very helpful for me to understand autism and to evaluate different approaches of intervention strategies. It also helps me to deal with the behavior problems of my child. -
Hi jme.
I have set up a trust fund for my autistic child with SNTC. I think it is very good. You should set this trust fund for your child. You don’t need to put in a lot of money initially. You should ask how much is minimum amount that you need to put in for opening an account there.
You need to have a will to put your asset or fund into this trust fund when you and your husband are not here. Beside, your can also nominate your child’s account in SNTC as the beneficiary for your CPF account when you are not here. -
What is the difference between this SNTC & buying insurance policy, for the child ?
If parents are gone one day, who will administer this SNTC fund, for the kid ? -
Hi Autumnleaf,
You have PM! -
Hi phtthp.
When a parent pass away and leave $100,000 obtained from the life insurance policy to a child with special needs for his/her daily expenses. Who will keep the $100,000? Sibling? Cousins? The institution which looks after him e.g. a home? Is it possible that this money will be mis-appropriated by the guardian if no one is monitoring this guardian?
SNTC trust fund is to solve this problem. The money that derived from the insurance policy will be going into the trust fund if the parents has made a will to make an arrangement. The guardian will be reimbursed for the expenses for the child e.g. employing a maid, seeing doctor, food and drinks, schools, transportations… The authorized expenses items are determined by the parents before they pass away. There might be a change of service providers 5 to 10 years after the parent had gone, but the power to change the service providers is not left solely to the guardian. SNTC has a team of professionals who will approve the change of authorized expenses items and payees. You should call SNTC to make an appointment with them and to understand fully their power and their service. -
Hi tyeogh!!!
Wait, let me pick up my contact lenses which have just popped out from my eyes! Woah, you really did manage to ‘engineer’ your son to K2! Totally amazing and a salute to both your determination and your son’s quantum learning leap! Hopefully your son will lose his PDD-NOS label in Feb and you will be forced to get your darling son to learn Chinese (which I think your wifey is the one with foresight!)
Regarding dating, I just watched my first movie with my husband last year after my older daughter turned 4.5 years old! You are such a nice hubby because my husband is the wooden block who totally believe marriage is a partnership and romance is overrated! Haiz… My bak-jiu ta stamps (eyes got stamps) during dating time.
But it is also partly my fault as my ex-maid had beaten my daughter’s hands before and bribed her with sweets to shut her up (the new maid who took over her duties witnessed it and told me AFTER that xxx@@!!?? Woman left) so I only dared to go out recently with my hubby as my daughter is now almost 5 years old and will definitely tell me if anything bad happened to her or my son while we are gone! -
Ladies, greatly appreciate your sharing of the phsycologists and clinics that I can try. At least I know where to begin.
Slmkhoo, my DS time management issues seems to be because he is just so laid back that he doesn’t realise each day theres a certain time to do different things like eating, showering.
He often tries doing 2 things at once because he probably feels he doesn’t have much free time as he takes at least an hour for his meals, half and hour for showers. We’re always having to tell him to put away his story book while he eats , also he can’t really do more than 1 thing at a time, although he wants to. This happend also while showering, doing big business on the toilet and even while he brushes his teeth. It is tiring coz we constantly have to correct him over the same things. Also wonder how this kid will be when he’s an adult. He will gladly wake up in the morning and trod around in his pj’s all day unless I tell him to change. Or I could tell him tomorrow is the weekend and he’s not think twice if I am wrong or not… He’s totally laid back. -
Tyegoh
I do date with my hubby often. Like you, we will go on couple trips to Bangkok and last year to New York as well date nights on Friday.
I think dating is very important for every married couple with children, not just those with special needs. But I know not many can do that if they do not have family help. I am thankful that my mum can help me when I need a break from the kids. But I think the overseas couple trips will be history soon cos my sis is going to give birth soon and it will be too much for my mum to manage. -
Autumnleaf:
I empathise about the slowness! We have learned not to hurry my daughter too much because she just gets more flustered and it's worse in the end. An hour to eat sounds very long. My daughter is the slowest in the family, but can still finish only a few minutes later than us, probably 20 mins or so for a meal. When my kids were young, I would discard food that hadn't been consumed in 30 mins, so I guess they have been trained! For showers, I used to go in and supervise, but at 10yo I guess it may not be too nice. I will nag, and occasionally threaten to switch off lights if she takes too long!Slmkhoo, my DS time management issues seems to be because he is just so laid back that he doesn't realise each day theres a certain time to do different things like eating, showering.
He often tries doing 2 things at once because he probably feels he doesn't have much free time as he takes at least an hour for his meals, half and hour for showers. We're always having to tell him to put away his story book while he eats , also he can't really do more than 1 thing at a time, although he wants to. This happend also while showering, doing big business on the toilet and even while he brushes his teeth. It is tiring coz we constantly have to correct him over the same things. Also wonder how this kid will be when he's an adult. He will gladly wake up in the morning and trod around in his pj's all day unless I tell him to change. Or I could tell him tomorrow is the weekend and he's not think twice if I am wrong or not.... He's totally laid back.
Have you tried making lists of activities that he must do at certain times? Like waking up - change clothes, go to the bathroom, brush teeth, wash face, comb hair... Before going to school - check uniform, grab bag (packed the night before), put on socks and shoes... I had these posted all over the place in the earlier years so that I wouldn't need to say the same things again and again. I would just say \"have you done everything on the list?\" and make her check. And I've adapted to her in the sense that I will list out what is going to happen on out-of-the-ordinary days and help her plan the sequence of events and how long to allow for each activity. My other daughter finds it very boring and irritating, but she has realised that her sister needs it so she closes her ears and ignores me when I'm going on at length!
Not thinking for themselves - well, it's their literalness and their \"straight\" thinking. They assume that everyone tells the literal truth, so they won't consider that someone may be wrong or kidding or lying. It does mean that they also don't lie and aren't devious, which is a good trait. As for being laid back, again, that is something that isn't going to change, I think. My daughter doesn't have any sense of urgency either, and we have accepted it. She isn't going to do well academically, but even if she did, I'm not sure she could cope with a higher-level job. We have taught her to keep a to-do list and track her deadlines (I still keep an eye on the most important ones for her, just in case!), and keep her going at a steady pace and hope for the best. -
totalstranger:
Hi totalstranger,
It is so true that parents of children with ASD need to work harder for the emotional, cognitive and social development of the child.
I have attended a lot of workshops on parent training e.g. Hanen, Floortime, ABA and RDI. I also stay with my child when she goes for therapy to learn how to work with her at home. After 2 years of therapy at a clinic using Floortime strategy, 6 months with a RDI trainer and 4 years with a clinic using ABA strategy. I decided that ABA is the most suitable strategy to teach my child who has very limited language ability (both receptive and expressive), low ability in compliance and short attention span.
Right now, I am pursuing a master degree in ABA with emphasis in Autism. This degree course is very helpful for me to understand autism and to evaluate different approaches of intervention strategies. It also helps me to deal with the behavior problems of my child.
My heart goes out to you. It must have been tough on you. I am constantly amazed at the extent mothers here go for their loved ones. A masters degree! No greater love is there when a mom fights for her child. Why go see movies when there are real life heros here *wink wink slmkhoo*. Yes, parents of children with ASD need to work harder for the emotional, cognitive and social development of the child. But please remember take care of yourself too.
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