All About Autism

[Gifts from Heaven]

Fiddling with stationery is quite a common problem with kids, NT or otherwise. slmkhoo has given u a great suggestion abt pasting a note in your kid's pencil case to remind him not to play with stationery. This is also the suggestion given when I attended a talk on preparing ASD kids for mainstream primary school.


About writing with pen...you can get those pen with erasable ink, so if the handwriting gets too messy, can erase off. These pens are good for beginner pen users for daily work. But I think they cannot be used for exam purposes. Those pens are my gal's favourites (she's also P4 this year, so some of the issues you face with your boy is common to mine as well). Think it's called pilot clickable flixion or something like that. It has a little transparent rubberised stub at the top. Costs $3 a piece and can buy the pen refill at $1.50.

The IQ test that my boy received was geared for kids up to 7 years old. He was diagnosed at 5. So your kids would have done a different set of IQ test since they are older.

My boy is righted-handed but I'm left-handed. Don't think I have any learning disability though .

slmkhoo,
I read with interest abt the writing training you gave to your elder gal. My boy also writes too hard, but his handwriting is really really v nice, like print...v precise. The thing abt using too much strength to write is he tires out v easily. I see it as a problem cos as he gets older and progresses up the levels, there will be more writing to do. So I'll probably try the mouse pad training, but what happens if the paper tears? Wouldn't your gal cry? I know mine will...and it would probably escalate into a meltdown if I don't fix the tear to the condition he wants it immediately.

[sharonkhoo]

Gifts from Heaven:

slmkhoo,

I read with interest abt the writing training you gave to your elder gal. My boy also writes too hard, but his handwriting is really really v nice, like print...v precise. The thing abt using too much strength to write is he tires out v easily. I see it as a problem cos as he gets older and progresses up the levels, there will be more writing to do. So I'll probably try the mouse pad training, but what happens if the paper tears? Wouldn't your gal cry? I know mine will...and it would probably escalate into a meltdown if I don't fix the tear to the condition he wants it immediately.

Don't use schoolbooks or anything too precious initially. In fact, to prevent meltdowns, use paper that doesn't matter, like the back of printed sheets etc. Tell him that it's just practice, that you expect the paper will tear initially, and that you will throw the papers away anyway. If the paper tears, start another line or give him a new sheet. Challenge him to see how much he can write before the paper tears. Just do short things at first - letters, words, phrases, so that if he moves on to a new sheet, there's nothing \"lost\". Once he gets the hang of it on paper that doesn't matter, he will hopefully transfer the skill to his proper work.

Getting tired when writing is a problem, but their stamina will increase with age too. My daughter still doesn't write very long essays (at 18yo, doing Arts A level subjects!), but I don't know if it's because she finds it tiring or because she can't think of enough to write. I have considered asking for her to be allowed to use a computer for the essay papers, but I'm still undecided as I'm not sure that it would help her write more, and being alone in a room to do exams may be worse as she may start day-dreaming! And I don't know if it would be allowed anyway. She doesn't take A levels till next year, so I have another year to see how things go.

[sharonkhoo]

Gifts from Heaven:

Fiddling with stationery is quite a common problem with kids, NT or otherwise. slmkhoo has given u a great suggestion abt pasting a note in your kid's pencil case to remind him not to play with stationery. This is also the suggestion given when I attended a talk on preparing ASD kids for mainstream primary school.

I used this technique (writing reminders) quite a lot as I found that my daughter absorbed info via the written word much better than the spoken word. I recall reading that many ASD kids are like that? In the early years, since my daughter could read by 4yo, I posted lists and reminders all over the place whenever I was trying to teach her a sequence of activities or when getting her not to forget stuff. Lists for: brushing teeth, washing hair, packing bags, getting ready for homework, upon waking up, before going to bed... My mother used to laugh at me when she visited, but it really saved my breath in nagging (I only had to say \"read the list!\") and I think it helped her learn better too. We used a few social stories too. When she started school, her school made them keep a homework journal where all homework, deadlines, reminders etc was written down, and she has continued to do that to this day. I do it myself as well! It's not foolproof, but it does help.

[Autumnleaf]

Slmkhoo, yes that sounds like my son… Learns better reading then by his ears. I have to re-look pocket money issues with him… As the fiddling with "new" stationaries is one big problem. He goes to school with minimum but will buy from the bookshop even though he’s been smacked, and even had his whole week allowance taken back as an punishment for breaking our rule (ask before buying anything from bookshop).


Was hoping to impart money skills hence since term 3 last year we have him weekly allowance rather then daily. Either way though the problem persists and when he buys the new stationary which usually is a pen, he has trouble resisting his compulsion to "play" with the new pen, till he just last week flunked his class test (thankfully this one is not weighted). He did the first page, and left the second totally blank! Teacher called me to inform me he’s playing with stationery.

Gifts from Heaven, my son does have problems with handwriting pressure too. He’s though is too light! So the pen kinda helps. Marking his work is a headache… Either too faint to read, too small and mostly very messy!

As and when I find it too messy, we usually will make him re-do, but Its still quite messy. Me and the teachers learned to accept it, but as long as it’s readable. My 6 yr DS hand writing is neater already then DS1 since she started K2… So know he struggles with hand writing. Would be so cool if they could type out their compos etc!

[DesertWind]

phtthp:

Desert wind,

it is good to hear that your son has eased into Term 1, well.
Term 1 is \"honeymoon\" period, to let kids settle down. Whether can ditch this $ 2k per month Shadow Tr or not - the Form Tr will feedback to you at end of Term 2 (after half a year evaluation).

Hi phtthp,
Told the school we are prepared to commit for 6 months only and each day only 3 hours. :moneyflies: :moneyflies: :moneyflies: lah! Its like paying money to gather more information on how boy is doing and iron out any kinks early in the school year. Long-term wise it is not viable to have a full-time shadow teacher. Meanwhile, I am taking the shadow teacher's feedback and working on it. For eg. a visual schedule time-table to run through with boy each day etc. One thing the shadow teacher shared which struck me is the class is very, very noisy. She also got a headache and she pitied the teachers. When the teacher shout to get the kids to quieten down, apparently my boy got a shock and will cover his ears and whine. Seems like a war-zone each day....jia lat! :faint:

[DesertWind]

tyeogh:

Hi DesertWind,

I told my wife about you and your son. She told me to talk to you more. Alamak! :slapshead: She was inspired by your sharing.
... I have had so many favourable reports from people who worked with him so I just put him back at his age appropriate level, and let our boss figure the rest. The same teacher who downgraded him recommended the upgrade. Its her principal that objected mainly because she has no slots. We received a call recently from his current K2 form teacher saying that he is doing fine in class. Told us not to worry.

OIC, that's really amazing, bro. Even I find it so hard to understand but its really good news! :imcool:
Please thank your wife for me and may you both have a very Happy Valentine's Day!
:celebrate:

[DesertWind]

Couragemom:

Hi Dessertwind,

Thanks for sharing! All victories both big and small are celebrated by us all as we know they don't come easy and the tons of blood and tears to get our little ones to where they are now is no small feat! I believe it is the only thread where we can safely 'brag' about our little one and nobody will think we are those 'cannot lose' type of parents! Hahaha....

Hi Couragemom,
Yes, if we are deemed to be boasting, it's often only because we are happy that our kids have reached the baseline which other kids achieve so easily and effortlessly. So can't be called bragging or kiasu actually! But we are just mere human being, so sometimes we still compare with other special needs kids... :roll:

[DesertWind]

Talking about caning. Seriously, there is a cut-off time for it. By 8 or 9 years old cannot liao! In fact, I will cut off at 7 yo, or once the kid start primary school. From my own experience won’t work already! My mum got to put away her cane when we reached 8 or 9 and we were quite relieved that she no longer treated us like "babies"!

For my boy, now that he is 7 yo, in fact he will start to look hurt and tears if I pull out the cane…even just to warn and not to hit! So buay-sai liao.

But for my younger one, 3 1/2 yo, the CANE is it! How many times he threw down ko-ko’s books in anger or wanted attention is how many times I will hit him with the cane! He cannot win or get away for being naughty! Until now, with a glare, or a raised index-finger, he froze. That is the effect that I want. Otherwise, how to control him outside or when he is older, to let him know you mean business?

[Couragemom]

Hi Dessertwind,


That is my greatest worry! The noise!!! I suspect my son has some auditory processing issue so I kept him in a premium CC where the child teacher ratio is kept low. It is soooo expensive but I treat it as part of his intervention! My NT daughter goes to a church kindergarten and the student teacher ratio is 24:2 but but school fees is 4x cheaper!!!

[phtthp]

DesertWind:

One thing the shadow teacher shared which struck me is the class is very, very noisy. She also got a headache and she pitied the teachers. When the teacher shout to get the kids to quieten down, apparently my boy got a shock and will cover his ears and whine. Seems like a war-zone each day....jia lat! :faint:

One P1 / P2 class of 30 kids in All boys school, is very noisy.
Same too, for 30 kids in all girls school, or co-Ed school.
Tr always ask kids to keep quiet
have to get used to it, slowly