All About Autism

[sharonkhoo]

Gifts from Heaven:

Fiddling with stationery is quite a common problem with kids, NT or otherwise. slmkhoo has given u a great suggestion abt pasting a note in your kid's pencil case to remind him not to play with stationery. This is also the suggestion given when I attended a talk on preparing ASD kids for mainstream primary school.

I used this technique (writing reminders) quite a lot as I found that my daughter absorbed info via the written word much better than the spoken word. I recall reading that many ASD kids are like that? In the early years, since my daughter could read by 4yo, I posted lists and reminders all over the place whenever I was trying to teach her a sequence of activities or when getting her not to forget stuff. Lists for: brushing teeth, washing hair, packing bags, getting ready for homework, upon waking up, before going to bed... My mother used to laugh at me when she visited, but it really saved my breath in nagging (I only had to say \"read the list!\") and I think it helped her learn better too. We used a few social stories too. When she started school, her school made them keep a homework journal where all homework, deadlines, reminders etc was written down, and she has continued to do that to this day. I do it myself as well! It's not foolproof, but it does help.

[Autumnleaf]

Slmkhoo, yes that sounds like my son… Learns better reading then by his ears. I have to re-look pocket money issues with him… As the fiddling with "new" stationaries is one big problem. He goes to school with minimum but will buy from the bookshop even though he’s been smacked, and even had his whole week allowance taken back as an punishment for breaking our rule (ask before buying anything from bookshop).


Was hoping to impart money skills hence since term 3 last year we have him weekly allowance rather then daily. Either way though the problem persists and when he buys the new stationary which usually is a pen, he has trouble resisting his compulsion to "play" with the new pen, till he just last week flunked his class test (thankfully this one is not weighted). He did the first page, and left the second totally blank! Teacher called me to inform me he’s playing with stationery.

Gifts from Heaven, my son does have problems with handwriting pressure too. He’s though is too light! So the pen kinda helps. Marking his work is a headache… Either too faint to read, too small and mostly very messy!

As and when I find it too messy, we usually will make him re-do, but Its still quite messy. Me and the teachers learned to accept it, but as long as it’s readable. My 6 yr DS hand writing is neater already then DS1 since she started K2… So know he struggles with hand writing. Would be so cool if they could type out their compos etc!

[DesertWind]

phtthp:

Desert wind,

it is good to hear that your son has eased into Term 1, well.
Term 1 is \"honeymoon\" period, to let kids settle down. Whether can ditch this $ 2k per month Shadow Tr or not - the Form Tr will feedback to you at end of Term 2 (after half a year evaluation).

Hi phtthp,
Told the school we are prepared to commit for 6 months only and each day only 3 hours. :moneyflies: :moneyflies: :moneyflies: lah! Its like paying money to gather more information on how boy is doing and iron out any kinks early in the school year. Long-term wise it is not viable to have a full-time shadow teacher. Meanwhile, I am taking the shadow teacher's feedback and working on it. For eg. a visual schedule time-table to run through with boy each day etc. One thing the shadow teacher shared which struck me is the class is very, very noisy. She also got a headache and she pitied the teachers. When the teacher shout to get the kids to quieten down, apparently my boy got a shock and will cover his ears and whine. Seems like a war-zone each day....jia lat! :faint:

[DesertWind]

tyeogh:

Hi DesertWind,

I told my wife about you and your son. She told me to talk to you more. Alamak! :slapshead: She was inspired by your sharing.
... I have had so many favourable reports from people who worked with him so I just put him back at his age appropriate level, and let our boss figure the rest. The same teacher who downgraded him recommended the upgrade. Its her principal that objected mainly because she has no slots. We received a call recently from his current K2 form teacher saying that he is doing fine in class. Told us not to worry.

OIC, that's really amazing, bro. Even I find it so hard to understand but its really good news! :imcool:
Please thank your wife for me and may you both have a very Happy Valentine's Day!
:celebrate:

[DesertWind]

Couragemom:

Hi Dessertwind,

Thanks for sharing! All victories both big and small are celebrated by us all as we know they don't come easy and the tons of blood and tears to get our little ones to where they are now is no small feat! I believe it is the only thread where we can safely 'brag' about our little one and nobody will think we are those 'cannot lose' type of parents! Hahaha....

Hi Couragemom,
Yes, if we are deemed to be boasting, it's often only because we are happy that our kids have reached the baseline which other kids achieve so easily and effortlessly. So can't be called bragging or kiasu actually! But we are just mere human being, so sometimes we still compare with other special needs kids... :roll:

[DesertWind]

Talking about caning. Seriously, there is a cut-off time for it. By 8 or 9 years old cannot liao! In fact, I will cut off at 7 yo, or once the kid start primary school. From my own experience won’t work already! My mum got to put away her cane when we reached 8 or 9 and we were quite relieved that she no longer treated us like "babies"!

For my boy, now that he is 7 yo, in fact he will start to look hurt and tears if I pull out the cane…even just to warn and not to hit! So buay-sai liao.

But for my younger one, 3 1/2 yo, the CANE is it! How many times he threw down ko-ko’s books in anger or wanted attention is how many times I will hit him with the cane! He cannot win or get away for being naughty! Until now, with a glare, or a raised index-finger, he froze. That is the effect that I want. Otherwise, how to control him outside or when he is older, to let him know you mean business?

[Couragemom]

Hi Dessertwind,


That is my greatest worry! The noise!!! I suspect my son has some auditory processing issue so I kept him in a premium CC where the child teacher ratio is kept low. It is soooo expensive but I treat it as part of his intervention! My NT daughter goes to a church kindergarten and the student teacher ratio is 24:2 but but school fees is 4x cheaper!!!

[phtthp]

DesertWind:

One thing the shadow teacher shared which struck me is the class is very, very noisy. She also got a headache and she pitied the teachers. When the teacher shout to get the kids to quieten down, apparently my boy got a shock and will cover his ears and whine. Seems like a war-zone each day....jia lat! :faint:

One P1 / P2 class of 30 kids in All boys school, is very noisy.
Same too, for 30 kids in all girls school, or co-Ed school.
Tr always ask kids to keep quiet
have to get used to it, slowly

[scang]

It was an interesting seminar/talk on the Son-Rise program.


http://embraceautism.sg/images/RaunFlyer-Sm.jpg\">

The 4 basic fundamentals was shared by Raun K. Kaufman, who fully recovered from Autism: 1) Joining 2) Motivation 3) Socialization 4) Attitude.

The method was basically to create the relationship with the child, instead of simply changing the child's behaviour, and in the process brings them out of \"their world\" into \"our world\" or society norms. This is done through the child's own motivation and change, and with the right attitude from parents to bring about that change.

A different and refreshing approach to tackle Autism and special needs.

[tyeogh]

DesertWind:

Talking about caning. Seriously, there is a cut-off time for it. By 8 or 9 years old cannot liao! In fact, I will cut off at 7 yo, or once the kid start primary school. From my own experience won't work already! My mum got to put away her cane when we reached 8 or 9 and we were quite relieved that she no longer treated us like \"babies\"!

For my boy, now that he is 7 yo, in fact he will start to look hurt and tears if I pull out the cane...even just to warn and not to hit! So buay-sai liao.

But for my younger one, 3 1/2 yo, the CANE is it! How many times he threw down ko-ko's books in anger or wanted attention is how many times I will hit him with the cane! He cannot win or get away for being naughty! Until now, with a glare, or a raised index-finger, he froze. That is the effect that I want. Otherwise, how to control him outside or when he is older, to let him know you mean business?

I think the cut off depends on each child. To me, the question is when does a child stops being a child and in my mind that age is 12. I rarely cane my eldest girl who is 11 this year. Maybe like once in a year. I find that reasoning works better at this age.

Same for my 10 y.o, girl. Nonetheless, they are both aware daddy will not hesitate to discipline them any time. It gives them a sense of assuredness that someone is guiding them.

They actually feel closer to me. We do our ipod My songs are better than your songs debate every now and then, and dance to our music (do your hubbies do such crazy things? Wife thinks I am childish. Blast our rooms with Taylor Swift and Shake it off, Shake it off!) This is the age I give more positive reinforcements. They are told how good they are more often than how wrong they are. Like 90% to 10%.

The other 2 boys at 8 and 5 still get whacked frequently. One is very good at acting and cry before the cane appears. Children not stupid. I not stupid either.