Advice - Divorce or Not to Divorce

[Eagle-Ladybird]

Actually the moral of the story is, don't mess with women. We, men, are not build for this type of battle, that's why we have this need to offload what's on our chest - talk it over and resolve on the spot. We cannot deal with Silent Treatment.


It was part of a string of jokes, of which the rest are here :

======================
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
Neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
The husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who Should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it, because you get up first, And then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.'
The husband said, ' You are in charge of cooking around here and You should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible That the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament And showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........'HEBREWS'
Men are not equipped for this kind of contest.  

God may have created man before woman,
But there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
=======================

Enjoy, but don't let it get into your head, ladies !

[auntieM]

Almost choke reading your post Eagle-Ladybird.. .. :rotflmao:

[3Boys]

E-ladybird…super funny!

[schweppes]

:rotflmao: Super funny sharing, Eagle-Ladybird. Thanks for the laughies... :lol:

[dicoyote]

3Boys:

dicoyote:

3Boys,

share your thought?

I find the tactic of 'deep freeze' as a behaviour modification tool to be immature and unproductive. If I do that to my wife, she couldn't care less and vice-versa. In my view, it is also pretty destructive to a relationship to turn on cold feelings to each other. Much better to be up front about issues and have them thrashed out in the open.

Further, although I believe a woman is well within her rights to set certain rules of behaviour for her husband, and indeed, is probably obliged to do so in order to cultivate a healthy, mutually respectful relationship, the husband is not some immature child to 'beaten' into shape by 'denial of service' attacks.

In short, in a difficult situation, the key to resolution is communication, and non-communication is recipe for a downward spiral in a relationship.

Just my view.

3Boys,

Thanks for sharing your thought.

Agree to your comment on childish act, yet when men, instead of talking or discussing things out, uses \"force\", isn't that childish as well?

Guess its a taste of its own medicine, childish return, never end

There are times when non-communication period might help, in the end, its who will want to control the situation, does not mean whoever talk first loses.

I do not think in this current world, things can be settled just by talking....or should I say by only talking, action sometimes speaks louder than word...though just my view :lol:

[Jennifer]

dicoyote:

I do not think in this current world, things can be settled just by talking....or should I say by only talking, action sometimes speaks louder than word...though just my view :lol:

I tried talking, it helped. Then after some time, the same irritating habit surfaces again. Do I talk again? So I shut up lor since it cannot be changed.

[3Boys]

Is a marriage worth working on?


Not here to pass judgement on those who have trouble in spousal relationships, but perhaps trigger a bit of soul searching?

That man/woman you fell in love with, what happened? Did you stop talking? Stop taking care of each other?

Does he/she mean enough to you that you will put aside some pride and initiate a reconciliation? If your spouse initiates something, will you put aside enough of your hurt feelings to engage and not rebuff?

C’mon people, its worth working at, really. Say the nice words once, twice, three times. Compliment your wife on her hair, thank your hubby for bringing home dinner. Don’t take each other for granted, don’t play the blame game.

It will not happen overnight, but if one or both parties persist, and takes an open mind, I’d say there were better than an even chance that you could turn things around.

[divorceadviceforwomen]

Divorce is a tricky monster. On the one hand, it could greatly help couples to break away from the stranglehold of marriage and live their lives without destroying everything in their parts, including their respect for each other. On the other, divorce furthers the chasm between couple as they fight for properties, money, and possession, making for an ugly scene and solves nothing. Men, women and divorce is ultimately a mixed bag unless done correctly.

[KS_me]

hihimummy:

dear all, thank you for your kind words and advise.


We have talk to him about his temper, his family have talk to him. There was once when he perceive some bicyclist knock on his car on purpose and he shouted at the guy and wanted to confront the guy. His parents, Ds were all in the car then and they tried to pull him back.

I think the behaviour is both inherent and grew worst after he come out to work ... we knew each since Uni and it was not to this extent though there is some signs of temper. At least not the vulgarities.

autommbronze, agree with you that \"Sometimes such characteristics may not be so evident (under control) because he may be trying to maintain a Mr Nice Guy facade \" Dh is super good at that. All his friends and my friends and even my family use to thought that he is very nice and helpful. My family only experienced his temper right after we move into our new house and my friends were surprised when I told them things that happened .

I don't think I love him anymore.. most of the time, I feel happier when he is not at home. But on one hand, DS have a good r/s with him and on another, I fear he might do something bad if I try to leave him. I tried to leave him before and he says things like he \"may do something criminal\" if I leave.

Hi hihimummy,
I think my situation is very similar to yours but DH improves a little over years (due to ageing). We've quite a similar husband (a real bad temper guy). DH even slapped my DS1 while he was 2 yo which triggled me to walk away carrying DS1 without turning back but back down as DH is good at making a scene in public! He'll make the whole world know we are into quarrel by shouting and screaming. Many times I have to back down for the sake of DS1 as I do not want him to be embrassed in the public. DH just couldn't control his temper when he got frustrated and I've approached him many times to consult mental doctor but just couldn't get him go forward.

I told me once that \"I can't accept I've mental problem and my future will ruin if company found out that I'm mentally ill-ed\"

Till to-date, he still use vulgar language on my boys (cut down but still). I will run into depression thinking about the \"D\" again when this happen. Things will pick up again after I talked to him at the later (when he's not at his top) but leopard can't change its spots!

The recently case, I couldn't take his vulgarities anymore and requested him to hand over DS1's education to me (he insisted he's better one to educate DS1 because I'm not as educated as him :x ) .. Sometime I have a very strong guilt towards my boys, as such young age, they see how his dad behaves, how his dad thrown his temper, how his dad shouted & screamed at his mum.. to what I can only pray and try my best to talk to the boys not to pick up these unwanted habits from his dad.

I'm sharing the same dilema as you and I'm hanging there for the children seek and hope you'll try your best too.

We shld be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel... don't you think so?

I try to believe in our marriage, my love for the kids and his love to me. Hoping situation change from time to time..

Keep your head up!

[tired]

Hi all,


I need some advice.

1.My husband is abusive. Abuses us verbally and slaps my son often
2.He made little contribution to the family. Pays 500 (300 for his monthly loans, and claim that the remaining is for the maintenance of the kid and groceries)
3.Car and housing loans, as well as kid’s childcare all paid by me.
4.Thinks he contribute alot by ferrying us to work and school.
5.Insists that 7-12pm daily is his time. Kid cannot go near him. He will slap him if he does.
6. No one can talk him through.

I am tired. Should I opt out? I want my kid.