Maid who tell lies

[Blessedwife]

From my observations, you seems to have a lot of problem from your helper. In this case, for the sake of you and your helper, why don’t you just change her then you won’t find yourself keep complaining about her anymore. Who knows she is waiting for you to change maid too. I think many people here already got tired of your endless maid questions but just that no one bothered to answer.


Just remember, maid is also human being. You need 2 way communications and mutual respect.

[ashana]

Snow24:

Hi


Anyone can share. Is it a common thing for maid to tell lies?

Do you think honesty is important to you when the maid works for you?

If the maid can work if she wants to but has the habits of telling lies to cover up things would you still retain her?

I don't work as a maid but I do tell lies to my bosses some times. I don't expect or demand my helper to be 100% honest to me either. She is not an angel, so am I.

I understand there are times we tend to exaggerate our complains, there are times we just need an outlet to air our frustrations and chuck it aside after we are done. That is actually good for emotional health. However, without knowing it, it may become a habit and develop into a trap that we lock ourselves in.

You have more power than you think you do. Take up the responsibility of maintaining your emotional health for your family, your kids and most importantly for yourself. If someone is causing so much emotional stress to you, I think you can't pretend things will get better without any changes. I believe you know that too because you are expecting your helper to change. At the same time, I believe you are too aware that she refuses to change.

If you can't or don't want to change a helper, you have to adjust your expectations. There is no other way round. Come to terms with it and you will instantly feel much better and able to make better decisions.

You are not as helpless as you think. Cheer up!

[Snow24]

Hi Blessedwife

Thanks for replying.

I am trying to make the working relationship works. Imagine them paying so much agency fee just to come to Singapore to work and earn a living.

I got ask her if she wants to go back I can buy air ticket for her she also did not say anything nor want to change employer. So I not sure why is she giving attitude and poor performance now even lying.

I already tried to communicate frequently with her and to feedback to us any difficulty if any she faced.

[Snow24]

Hi Ashana


Thanks for the advice.

Appreciate it.

Sorry if I have cause inconvenience to all.

As new employer I just want to seek some advices so that I can be a good employer that’s all.

[ashana]

Snow24:

Hi Ashana


Thanks for the advice.

Appreciate it.

Sorry if I have cause inconvenience to all.

As new employer I just want to seek some advices so that I can be a good employer that's all.

We can't meet everyone's standards since we all have different standards. There is no good or bad. It is a matter of suitability.

She may have intentionally not to abide by your rules. She may have tried her best but unable to meet your expectations. You may have set unrealistic expectations on her. Whatever, they are not important now. You have to acknowledge your own emotional health, if her work performance is causing so much emotional stress on you, it simply means she is unsuitable for your household. If you can let her go, what are you waiting for?

If you want to give a last try, list down the tasks that you want her to do, detailed to the minute, communicate clearly what results you are expecting from each assigned task. Issue the ultimatum. If she can't meet your expectations and you can't adjust your expectations, do let her go. It is good for both of you.

Take good care of yourself and honored your own needs.

[BabiesNU]

Just got a new maid from Indonesia, and guess what ... despite having deliberately made known to the maid during the Skype interview that we have a dog and she is okay to look after dogs, walah! She arrived in Singapore and we now realized she is afraid of dogs!


I am returning the maid back to the agency to get a replacement. But what else can I do? They lie, they come here, and we suffer the consequences. Sigh. :slapshead:

[ashana]

BabiesNU:

Just got a new maid from Indonesia, and guess what ... despite having deliberately made known to the maid during the Skype interview that we have a dog and she is okay to look after dogs, walah! She arrived in Singapore and we now realized she is afraid of dogs!


I am returning the maid back to the agency to get a replacement. But what else can I do? They lie, they come here, and we suffer the consequences. Sigh. :slapshead:

The agent we got the helper from told us their helpers are very professionally trained in all aspects from child care, elderly care, pets care, household chores, cooking...etc. They are able to communicate well in English. Domestic helper skilled in domestic chores. Being one inexperienced and naive new employer, I thought that is the expected. Particularly, our current helper has 9 months of training in their training center and highly recommended. Wow! 9 months! Must be superb good!

When she arrived, we have to teach her ABC, 123, read time, colors, shapes, how many days in a week, how many hours in a day, how to wash hands, how to eat, how to use cutlery, how to clean, how to do her work... ...etc. We cook for her, make sure she has 4 balanced meals per day, undisturbed sleep, sufficient rest ... ... when she is sick, she got paid sick leave and we do the work for her. Soon enough, we realized we got a new baby!

What to do? Take it or leave it ... ... This is such an ugly industry. After this one is done, I don't think I'll ever want another domestic helper.

[BabiesNU]

ashana:

BabiesNU:

Just got a new maid from Indonesia, and guess what ... despite having deliberately made known to the maid during the Skype interview that we have a dog and she is okay to look after dogs, walah! She arrived in Singapore and we now realized she is afraid of dogs!


I am returning the maid back to the agency to get a replacement. But what else can I do? They lie, they come here, and we suffer the consequences. Sigh. :slapshead:

The agent we got the helper from told us their helpers are very professionally trained in all aspects from child care, elderly care, pets care, household chores, cooking...etc. They are able to communicate well in English. Domestic helper skilled in domestic chores. Being one inexperienced and naive new employer, I thought that is the expected. Particularly, our current helper has 9 months of training in their training center and highly recommended. Wow! 9 months! Must be superb good!

When she arrived, we have to teach her ABC, 123, read time, colors, shapes, how many days in a week, how many hours in a day, how to wash hands, how to eat, how to use cutlery, how to clean, how to do her work... ...etc. We cook for her, make sure she has 4 balanced meals per day, undisturbed sleep, sufficient rest ... ... when she is sick, she got paid sick leave and we do the work for her. Soon enough, we realized we got a new baby!

What to do? Take it or leave it ... ... This is such an ugly industry. After this one is done, I don't think I'll ever want another domestic helper.

Thank you for sharing. Sigh. Guess I just have to take this head on. Hope I get a better replacement maid :xedfingers:

[ashana]

BabiesNU:

Thank you for sharing. Sigh. Guess I just have to take this head on. Hope I get a better replacement maid :xedfingers:

You are very thoughtful to consider your dog. It is lucky for your dog to have you. It is very important your helper is not afraid of your dog and she can't be one who dislike dog either. Trust your dog reaction towards your next helper. Your dog will tell you more than you can see.