Why teens and young adults trade so easily?

[daisyt]

skunk:

It's too simplistic to blame it on morals and values.


They're just lonely, thinking that by sleeping with people, they are being loved, they will get companionship, they will get understanding, they will not be lonely anymore.

Dad busy playing computer games in the room, Mom busy going through files brought back from office, Didi in his own room playing his own computer game, Meimei in her own room playing with her own computer game....Jiejie feels so lonely. She also switches on her computer, plays multi-player games. She interacts with other people on the game, will that ease her loneliness?

Afterall, she has 29 other classmates in school, right? Or are they all, or mostly holed up in their own rooms, playing their own computer games? Are they disproportionately spending more time doing homework than interacting with each other?

In the old days, siblings spent lots of time \"interacting\" with each other, multiple kids fighting over the right to use the toilet, fighting over one single TV set, fighting over one single 386 computer to play Space Invaders. Children spent lots of time fighting with the neighbourhood bully at the playground, planning grand hoaxes with the imps next door.

Today, one kid = 1 bedroom + own toilet + own TV + own computer = loneliness, inability to form proper relationships with other humans. Basically living in their own world.

If i were to be isolated in my own deserted island for 15 years, i would hug, kiss the next passing sailor, regardless of whether he smells of fish LOL won't anyone?

I agree with skunk and many kids are in this type of family which is very unhealthy. I am always against too much \"cyber interaction\".

Not to mention, material needs is taking over morale. Self discipline and strong will power is what the kids should learn so they won't be influence by others.

[skunk]

daisyt:

Self discipline and strong will power is what the kids should learn so they won't be influence by others.

that too, though we still gotta tackle the loneliness part first. If u interview 100 teens, I believe 99 of them will say they will not sleep with strangers or people they have not met for long. Does this mean they have morals and values?

This is instinct, not morality at play. No biologically normal female will sleep with a stranger, as there is a risk the offspring will be abandoned or harmed.

If u ask any teen who has been sleeping around, whether they think it's right, i bet with u, 99% will say they think it's wrong. Then why do they still do it? It's a sign of obsessive-compulsive behaviour, a disease, nothing to do with morals, values or religion. A disease brought on by isolating a person for too long. Even if u cage up a dog for 10 years, it will go mad and behave irrationally.

Modern living is something that is not natural to us humans. We have never lived like this before, even as recently as the last generation. It's making alot of us sick, not to mention our children. And i'm not just talking about physical sickness. It makes us sick in the mind.

[phankao]

skunk:

In the old days, siblings spent lots of time \"interacting\" with each other, multiple kids fighting over the right to use the toilet, fighting over one single TV set, fighting over one single 386 computer to play Space Invaders. Children spent lots of time fighting with the neighbourhood bully at the playground, planning grand hoaxes with the imps next door.

Today, one kid = 1 bedroom + own toilet + own TV + own computer = loneliness, inability to form proper relationships with other humans. Basically living in their own world.

But my kids are STILL doing that, wat. From 1 yo to 16yo - all fighting with each other. And yeah, over 1 computer, 1 toilet, no TV, but then, rarely go playground now though bc TOO MUCH schoolwork & CCA!!! Who goes to the playground at 8pm or 9pm at night after school?

[daisyt]

I have seen a case, early 20s. A loner who lives in her own world, everyday stays at home play games. Parents not in good term hence, they always try to make themselves busy by working a lot and stay less time at home. To rebel or gain attention (I don’t know), she would mitigate herself or try to commit suicide. She has no knowledge on daily affairs and not interested in everything. Frankly speaking, I have never seen such case before. When I see skunk’s family example, immediately I think of her family. Their family is typical like that.

[skunk]

phankao:

But my kids are STILL doing that, wat. From 1 yo to 16yo - all fighting with each other. And yeah, over 1 computer, 1 toilet, no TV, but then, rarely go playground now though bc TOO MUCH schoolwork & CCA!!! Who goes to the playground at 8pm or 9pm at night after school?

If they're fighting with each other, u r lucky, they're normal LOL. It's the all-too-common single-child families that need to watch out. Even multiple-child families also cannot be complacent, if they don't fight, instead everyday just holed up inside their rooms, with their own computer games, it might just end up the same sad story.

Of course, not every child that grows up isolated, will sleep around. Just like not every mentally-ill person is a murderer. Yes, that's what i'm insinuating, isolation leads to loneliness, leads to irrational behaviour like sleeping around, compulsive shoplifting, and other forms of such behaviour. Our children are growing up sick, in a sick society.

[3Boys]

skunk:

daisyt:

Self discipline and strong will power is what the kids should learn so they won't be influence by others.

that too, though we still gotta tackle the loneliness part first. If u interview 100 teens, I believe 99 of them will say they will not sleep with strangers or people they have not met for long. Does this mean they have morals and values?

This is instinct, not morality at play. No biologically normal female will sleep with a stranger, as there is a risk the offspring will be abandoned or harmed.

If u ask any teen who has been sleeping around, whether they think it's right, i bet with u, 99% will say they think it's wrong. Then why do they still do it? It's a sign of obsessive-compulsive behaviour, a disease, nothing to do with morals, values or religion. A disease brought on by isolating a person for too long. Even if u cage up a dog for 10 years, it will go mad and behave irrationally.

Modern living is something that is not natural to us humans. We have never lived like this before, even as recently as the last generation. It's making alot of us sick, not to mention our children. And i'm not just talking about physical sickness. It makes us sick in the mind.

As you prefer plain speaking, my view is that, your posit is plainly ludicrous.

Do youngsters have less time with their parents these days than in the past? Are they caged up like dogs with no option for human interaction? They will tear off their clothes at the first opportunity because they hadn't spoken to another human being in 10 years?

Seriously, which of the above apply?

You narrow it down to a sliver of scenario, \"Denied all human interaction = sexual promiscuity\" and exclude all other possible influences, including, SHOCK/HORROR, Sexual Morals, which to you play NO part whatsoever in determining if a person may avoid falling into such situations....

:?

Of course loneliness and lack of love plays a part, but that is often hand in hand with lack of role modelling and transmission of values, does it not?

[skunk]

3Boys:

As you prefer plain speaking, my view is that, your posit is plainly ludicrous.

thank u, at least it entertained u

[skunk]

3Boys:

exclude all other possible influences, including, SHOCK/HORROR, Sexual Morals, which to you play NO part whatsoever in determining if a person may avoid falling into such situations....

I didn't exclude all other possible influence, though i did exclude moral education, including sexual morals.

Yes, morality has absolutely nothing to do with it. To what i know, every single child has been taught never to jaywalk. But many still do. Has moral education failed? No. Moral education instills values, but having the right values doesn't mean not doing the wrong action.

From what i know, every single complusive shoplifter (kleptomaniac) has acknowledged their action is wrong, but they still do it. Why? Absolutely nothing to do with morals, certainly they have morals, because they know it's wrong!

Our children have morals and values. The sickness lies elsewhere. Stop looking up the wrong tree.

[3Boys]

skunk:

I didn't exclude all other possible influence, though i did exclude moral education, including sexual morals.


Yes, morality has absolutely nothing to do with it. To what i know, every single child has been taught never to jaywalk. But many still do. Has moral education failed? No. Moral education instills values, but having the right values doesn't mean not doing the wrong action.

From what i know, every single complusive shoplifter (kleptomaniac) has acknowledged their action is wrong, but they still do it. Why? Absolutely nothing to do with morals, certainly they have morals, because they know it's wrong!

Our children have morals and values. The sickness lies elsewhere. Stop looking up the wrong tree.

Well you are wrong. You pick on the negative examples. How about the 90% that don't jaywalk? How about the 99% who don't shoplift? Whats holding them back?

Do you discipline your children? Are you telling them right from wrong? What is that if not imparting your morals and values to your children, in the hope of modifying their future behaviour? No effect? Then why bother?Will you tell your daughter not to be promiscuous? If by your theory, our children already have morals and values, and all that is needed is parental presence, then you can be completely mum on it.

Anthropological/sociological studies have clearly shown that peer pressure and societal norms (read values) have a huge effect on personal behaviour. Does it fail in some people, of course. Yours are posits derived de novo from your own thinking and bear no authority whatsoever, and have self contradicted without realising it.

[3Boys]

skunk:

I didn't exclude all other possible influence, though i did exclude moral education, including sexual morals.


Yes, morality has absolutely nothing to do with it. To what i know, every single child has been taught never to jaywalk. But many still do. Has moral education failed? No. Moral education instills values, but having the right values doesn't mean not doing the wrong action.

From what i know, every single complusive shoplifter (kleptomaniac) has acknowledged their action is wrong, but they still do it. Why? Absolutely nothing to do with morals, certainly they have morals, because they know it's wrong!

Our children have morals and values. The sickness lies elsewhere. Stop looking up the wrong tree.

You are putting it as if morals and values were a textbook. That is, if I say it in classroom it will automatically become the rule. In that context, of course it is doomed to fail. If you therefore use that as an example of 'morality being irrelevant', then you are using the wrong yardstick. Just because our children have had textbook exposure to moral education, does not mean they are moral. And just because they then go on to do immoral things is not the failure of morality. Hence your contention of morals being irrelevant is clearly nonsense.

Morals and values are modelled over time, and clearly makes a difference. If not, why bother with parents? Any maid who can cook a meal or wash a school uniform will do for our children.