Why teens and young adults trade so easily?
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phankao:
If they're fighting with each other, u r lucky, they're normal LOL. It's the all-too-common single-child families that need to watch out. Even multiple-child families also cannot be complacent, if they don't fight, instead everyday just holed up inside their rooms, with their own computer games, it might just end up the same sad story.
But my kids are STILL doing that, wat. From 1 yo to 16yo - all fighting with each other. And yeah, over 1 computer, 1 toilet, no TV, but then, rarely go playground now though bc TOO MUCH schoolwork & CCA!!! Who goes to the playground at 8pm or 9pm at night after school?
Of course, not every child that grows up isolated, will sleep around. Just like not every mentally-ill person is a murderer. Yes, that's what i'm insinuating, isolation leads to loneliness, leads to irrational behaviour like sleeping around, compulsive shoplifting, and other forms of such behaviour. Our children are growing up sick, in a sick society. -
skunk:
As you prefer plain speaking, my view is that, your posit is plainly ludicrous.daisyt:
Self discipline and strong will power is what the kids should learn so they won't be influence by others.
that too, though we still gotta tackle the loneliness part first. If u interview 100 teens, I believe 99 of them will say they will not sleep with strangers or people they have not met for long. Does this mean they have morals and values?
This is instinct, not morality at play. No biologically normal female will sleep with a stranger, as there is a risk the offspring will be abandoned or harmed.
If u ask any teen who has been sleeping around, whether they think it's right, i bet with u, 99% will say they think it's wrong. Then why do they still do it? It's a sign of obsessive-compulsive behaviour, a disease, nothing to do with morals, values or religion. A disease brought on by isolating a person for too long. Even if u cage up a dog for 10 years, it will go mad and behave irrationally.
Modern living is something that is not natural to us humans. We have never lived like this before, even as recently as the last generation. It's making alot of us sick, not to mention our children. And i'm not just talking about physical sickness. It makes us sick in the mind.
Do youngsters have less time with their parents these days than in the past? Are they caged up like dogs with no option for human interaction? They will tear off their clothes at the first opportunity because they hadn't spoken to another human being in 10 years?
Seriously, which of the above apply?
You narrow it down to a sliver of scenario, \"Denied all human interaction = sexual promiscuity\" and exclude all other possible influences, including, SHOCK/HORROR, Sexual Morals, which to you play NO part whatsoever in determining if a person may avoid falling into such situations....
:?
Of course loneliness and lack of love plays a part, but that is often hand in hand with lack of role modelling and transmission of values, does it not? -
3Boys:
thank u, at least it entertained u
As you prefer plain speaking, my view is that, your posit is plainly ludicrous.
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3Boys:
I didn't exclude all other possible influence, though i did exclude moral education, including sexual morals.exclude all other possible influences, including, SHOCK/HORROR, Sexual Morals, which to you play NO part whatsoever in determining if a person may avoid falling into such situations....
Yes, morality has absolutely nothing to do with it. To what i know, every single child has been taught never to jaywalk. But many still do. Has moral education failed? No. Moral education instills values, but having the right values doesn't mean not doing the wrong action.
From what i know, every single complusive shoplifter (kleptomaniac) has acknowledged their action is wrong, but they still do it. Why? Absolutely nothing to do with morals, certainly they have morals, because they know it's wrong!
Our children have morals and values. The sickness lies elsewhere. Stop looking up the wrong tree. -
skunk:
Well you are wrong. You pick on the negative examples. How about the 90% that don't jaywalk? How about the 99% who don't shoplift? Whats holding them back?I didn't exclude all other possible influence, though i did exclude moral education, including sexual morals.
Yes, morality has absolutely nothing to do with it. To what i know, every single child has been taught never to jaywalk. But many still do. Has moral education failed? No. Moral education instills values, but having the right values doesn't mean not doing the wrong action.
From what i know, every single complusive shoplifter (kleptomaniac) has acknowledged their action is wrong, but they still do it. Why? Absolutely nothing to do with morals, certainly they have morals, because they know it's wrong!
Our children have morals and values. The sickness lies elsewhere. Stop looking up the wrong tree.
Do you discipline your children? Are you telling them right from wrong? What is that if not imparting your morals and values to your children, in the hope of modifying their future behaviour? No effect? Then why bother?Will you tell your daughter not to be promiscuous? If by your theory, our children already have morals and values, and all that is needed is parental presence, then you can be completely mum on it.
Anthropological/sociological studies have clearly shown that peer pressure and societal norms (read values) have a huge effect on personal behaviour. Does it fail in some people, of course. Yours are posits derived de novo from your own thinking and bear no authority whatsoever, and have self contradicted without realising it. -
skunk:
You are putting it as if morals and values were a textbook. That is, if I say it in classroom it will automatically become the rule. In that context, of course it is doomed to fail. If you therefore use that as an example of 'morality being irrelevant', then you are using the wrong yardstick. Just because our children have had textbook exposure to moral education, does not mean they are moral. And just because they then go on to do immoral things is not the failure of morality. Hence your contention of morals being irrelevant is clearly nonsense.I didn't exclude all other possible influence, though i did exclude moral education, including sexual morals.
Yes, morality has absolutely nothing to do with it. To what i know, every single child has been taught never to jaywalk. But many still do. Has moral education failed? No. Moral education instills values, but having the right values doesn't mean not doing the wrong action.
From what i know, every single complusive shoplifter (kleptomaniac) has acknowledged their action is wrong, but they still do it. Why? Absolutely nothing to do with morals, certainly they have morals, because they know it's wrong!
Our children have morals and values. The sickness lies elsewhere. Stop looking up the wrong tree.
Morals and values are modelled over time, and clearly makes a difference. If not, why bother with parents? Any maid who can cook a meal or wash a school uniform will do for our children. -
Hmmm…interesting discussion going on here while I was busy the whole day.
To begin, I feel that what both 3Boys and skunk wrote was provoking food for thought. Personally I am inclined to think that the symptoms skunk uncovered is a subset of what 3Boys have been advocating and there is a matter of perspective here as well.
While I agree the loneliness and the isolation factors brought up by skunk is very real and damaging to the well-being of a growing child, I also see that children should learn how to express their unhappiness to the parents. Communication takes both ways and if one party is oblivious, the other party needs to highlight and vice versa. So parents also have a part to play.
Also, I disagree that knowing morals and not practising it is known as having moral values. On this, I have to agree with 3boys that if one cannot practise the value, then there is no moral value even if one is aware of its definition. If one does not internalise a value and build it into their DNA, then it is not consumed by the person.
On this note, I can claim that I attempt to inculcate moral values in my child and unless I see her practising it all the time, I would not consider that she has embraced that value. Once it is internalised, it becomes the guiding principle to living for most people. You will find yourself questioning in your mind every scenario that you are put to test. Does it pass that principle you have in mind? So even a very lonely person can have such guiding principles in them and I see that skunk is trying to say that even with such, the loneliness built up in a person can overrule the principle. Ummm yes and no because…it’s like martial art? If you practise it enough, chances of wavering and falling short is lower…but if it is only made known but hardly practised, then of course it will tip.
So in a way, both scenarios mentioned can happen. A group so overwhelmed with loneliness that they throw all morals out of the window and a group with strong foundation in moral values that under such a crisis, they can see the light at the end of the tunnel and get a hold of themselves on time.
Those youngsters mentioned in this article appeared quite flippant and frivolous in their decision process. Yes it is true that they might be suffering from isolation of the modern living where communication broke down with family but it might also well be true that they had not built their guiding principles on some solid foundation of moral values that resulted in the quick wrong decision when put under pressure.
In summary, both are root causes and both need to be addressed in tandem by parents or circle of influence. Don’t wait too long is more key to me. -
Share with you all about real life friends.
Don’t talk about kids these days. These happen back then when I was growing up.
If you talk about lonely child growing up, I’m one of them. Father outstation, my mum stretched herself from morning till midnight from working in a factory to housework. One elder sister, different school different session. The house always empty. Yet, nothing happen. I embrace the solitude at home. It’s a place I cherished most. So private, so warm, so secure.
My friend that was involved in the flesh trade grew up in a loving family. She was my neighbour. We spent time playing daily after school. Parents gave her the best upbringing. Clean home, mother working part time, spent time with us going out shopping, home cook food etc.
How did it happen? We went to different secondary school. Bad school peers, she was kicked out after she ran away from home at secondary 2. She started working when she reached 15 years old. From sales girl (with pittance pay) and with peer influence, she move on to become GRO. She was lured by branded goods from clothing, to bags, to shoes and exotic places to travel at the young age of 17.
She was still my close friend at that time. Was I influenced and lured by those "excitement". Even at my darkest moment, I’m rooted to my ground. I was human after all. I felt jealous back then that her life then was easy. But the thought disgust me.
The strange thing was, when I slept over at her place (she was out working) she came back at 3 am smelling of cigarettes and uhggg… don’t want to mention. I was puzzled, how could the parents not scold her when she’s smelling like that. How could the parents not question her on her purchasing power. Money makes the parents blind as well?
I guess it all boils down to individual strength on moral values. -
I enjoyed reading the above thought provoking posts. But if looking at this particular story in question, it is really about young girls sleeping with a stranger in exchange for money? Therefore isn’t the root of the problem is her greed for money and fame. It then boils down to the values that had been imparted to her… Was she brought up in the world where material wealth, beauty, branded goods or stardom are being totally over-emphasized? Or perhaps not being taught to be satisfied with what little she has or that there is really never a shortcut to success or to quick money…
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EN:
Certainly I believe in one's inner strength too. :celebrate:
I guess it all boils down to individual strength on moral values.
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