In-law problems?

[csc]

Hi Buds,


I'm sure you'll not only get the coolest spot in Heaven but the biggest MANSION there! :lol:


And :udawoman: Your long-suffering will one day be appreciated , I'm sure....

Quoting Proverbs 31: 27-29 \"She looks well to the ways of her houshold and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her , saying : Many daughters have done nobly. But you excel them all.\" :salute:

[buds]

jedamum:

winth:

But one strange thing that I realised, those good MIL stories that I've heard are usually very soft-spoken ladies and they tend the housechores really well. Dunno coincidence or wat.

Here's something for a change...
My PIL are considered good as compared to most stories i heard. No nagging from them (in general), they don't complain me to my husband (i am really messy!), my FIL woke up 6.30am so that he can send my son to school (at times when my husband is not around and the younger one is still sleeping) even though he doesn't need to work that day. my MIL will take a bus to fetch my boy after school if the younger one needs to take a nap at home. My MIL also does the housechores and cooks, but she ain't soft spoken. She is the head of the house. We live under the same roof amicably for the past 8 years cos I am very soft-spoken .

I carried my sleeping K2 with me on my shoulder,
to send/fetch P2 to/from school for her (CCA) & stuff,
even when they are around..

I dun speak at all.. gulp.


Still kena oso..

[buds]

csc:

Hi Buds, I'm sure you'll not only get the coolest spot in Heaven but the biggest MANSION there! :lol:

:lol: Hope so.. See u there!

csc:

And :udawoman: Your long-suffering will one day be appreciated , I'm sure....

Yes, it has! Thanks.
The suffering has ended and been appreciated.
Not looking forward to future sequels (to the drama). :lol:

Yup, gone are the rag-mopping days... Thank u god.

(I was told to use a rag to clean the floors cos all their life they never
used one or owned one, for that matter... Had to do it even when i was
pregnant. And one day i just bought one with the wonderful blue sponge
squishies and hid it in my room.. )

csc:

Quoting Proverbs 31: 27-29 \"She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her , saying : Many daughters have done nobly. But you excel them all.\" :salute:

Touching..

[buds]

[quote]\"Boomerang effect\" ... hmmm... i like how you say that.

I'm used to karma and retribution, boomerang effect - sounds
fancy! I'll borrow that phrase sometime.. hope u dun mind.[/quote]

winth:

No problem at all! It's good to know someone likes it.

Thanks!

winth:

Hi csc, I'm really happy that you have got good MIL and I have seen good MIL too. My friend had too, and she told me that she can talk to her MIL whole day. But one strange thing that I realised, those good MIL stories that I've heard are usually very soft-spoken ladies and they tend the housechores really well. Dunno coincidence or wat.

Yup, i've had a few friends myself... who shared their sisterly-relationship
with their MIL's. Envy..

winth:

Talking about this year's CNY, my in-laws and MIL's 2 other sisters along with their families went for a group trip together to Cameron Highlands..

I feel for you, winth.. It must've been really tough on you.
Thank goodness, hubs felt the same way you do... :love:
What a horrible trip to undergo and to remember too!
Definitely a memorable one - for the wrong reasons.

[csc]

Winth,


You're real courageous to travel with your mil's family. Wow!

Usually, we travel with my mil ONLY. Have not tried travelling with sils' family or even my own siblings' family yet.... Aniwae, my husband sure will be the first one to object .... his view is so ma fun..... how to cater to the needs of so many people .... sure got conflict.... how to enjoy trip then?

Jedamum is right lah.....all of us dils must learn to cultivate a quiet spirit lah... :lol: BUT i believe in standing up for our rights , if need be.... glad that you, winth and your husband stated your stand clearly abt going back to your parents' house. :ugogirl:

Also , a reminder is that in handling such issues and also with all other relationships, it is best to 'attack' issues and not the \"parties\". That means despite all their shortcomings and not forgetting ours too, we still need to respect them as our elders.

Remember, our children are watching and learning our attitudes and actions!

[winth]

[quote] I feel for you, winth.. It must've been really tough on you.

Thank goodness, hubs felt the same way you do...
What a horrible trip to undergo and to remember too!
Definitely a memorable one - for the wrong reasons.[/quote]My MIL and her elder sis were already discussing their next CNY's trip to Thailand, even before the Cameron's.

So after that trip, my DH said STOP to all CNY trips. He would like to stay in Singapore and go visit all relatives then just get booked by his own family.

[winth]

[quote]Also , a reminder is that in handling such issues and also with all other relationships, it is best to 'attack' issues and not the \"parties\". That means despite all their shortcomings and not forgetting ours too, we still need to respect them as our elders.


Remember, our children are watching and learning our attitudes and actions![/quote]Gulp! I know... I'll be a future-MIL x 2 too... that's why I don't dare to speak ill or condemn her. It's her actions that make me :stupid: most of the time.

Not forgetting my SIL who drives me up my nerves the most. As for my MIL, I think she secretly knows where she stands in my husband's heart, so she dun dare to be too upfront and come challenge me. She just discreetly does her own ignoring when we are alone. So by and large, me still quite okay treated, as long as my DH is there.

It's more like I've to let go of my own self-inflicted misery caused by those actions, if not I'm a happily married woman.

My MIL one very pitiful woman too. She was ill-treated upfront by her own MIL and her SILs and her own husband don't even care or make any stand, so can't really compare to hers.

[buds]

csc:

Winth, Jedamum is right lah..... all of us dils must learn to cultivate a quiet spirit lah... :lol: BUT i believe in standing up for our rights , if need be.... glad that you, winth and your husband stated your stand clearly abt going back to your parents' house. :ugogirl:

Hurray for that lifesaver..

csc:

Also , a reminder is that in handling such issues and also with all other relationships, it is best to 'attack' issues and not the \"parties\". That means despite all their shortcomings and not forgetting ours too, we still need to respect them as our elders. Remember, our children are watching and learning our attitudes and actions!

Yup, ditto that.

When the children were older, if they chance upon
anything not right with MIL towards me, they'll ask me,
\"Mum, why grandma like that?\" I'll just quietly reply,
\"Its ok. She just didn't understand that's all, but she will
one day, ok..\"

They'll go, \"Poor mummy.. but its okay, i'm here & i love you.\"
:love:

Yup, kids are watching..
Always watching..

[mom2boys]

from the time i know my hubby, i knew that i will need to stay with my MIL after marriage..with 6 siblings, my hubby has always been stuck with his mother since day 1 as being the youngest, I guessed he got not much of a choise


so here i am, 6yrs...living with my MIL..a blessing in disguise, my MIL is already pass the unreasonable stage as with a age of 80plus, she's like a big kid that needs to be pamper and bring her go walk walk whenever we have the time..so with my 2kids, plus one old kid..i've 3kids to take care of :oops: not much of a confriction...but much more of spending our time with my MIL during weekends...

to my MIl, my hubby will always be the baby in her eyes...knock on our door some morning, as an alarm clock to get him out of bed :!:
complaint of no food in fridge so that we can bring her out to supermarket
fight with grandson over food :stupid:
complaint maid din spend time on her

hubby always reminded me :\" dun treat your sons next time:' cos he always been that he being tied down by his mother :lol:

[pinky]

Dear buds,

In x out (opposite)-laws, get it?
Anyway, to those ladies/men who suffer from ‘in-laws from HELL’ syndrome,
out-laws will be a more appropriate word to describe them ie
unreasonable, uncompromising, unlawful …etc
We will be MIL and FIL in future so let this be a
learning experience for
all of us.