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    Child leaving for overseas studies, how do you cope?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Tertiary Education - A-Levels, Diplomas, Degrees
    151 Posts 29 Posters 44.3k Views 1 Watching
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    • janet88J Offline
      janet88
      last edited by

      pinky:
      Hi janet88 the activan takes about 1 hr before it makes me sleepy. The psychiatrist said Xanax is not enough for my present condition.

      psychiatrist prescribed xanax as anti-depressants will not kick in so fast...i was having panic attacks quite frequently.

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • P Offline
        pinky
        last edited by

        What sort of panic attacks did u have Janet88? What are the things that trigger the attacks?

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • janet88J Offline
          janet88
          last edited by

          pinky:
          What sort of panic attacks did u have Janet88? What are the things that trigger the attacks?

          it just happened suddenly...don't know what triggered it.
          i can be normal for a few hours and suddenly i get breathless and hyperventilate.

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          • JenniferJ Offline
            Jennifer
            last edited by

            vinegar:
            janet88:

            [quote=\"pinky\"]He may be away for NS but he will still be somewhere in Singapore.


            he wants to work overseas 😢

            Sg is a better place to work. That's why we hv many foreigners work here.[/quote]It all depends on the type of industry.

            I am not discounting the possibility that my boys would not be working in Sg.

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            • phtthpP Offline
              phtthp
              last edited by

              Yes, depend on the industry your child take on next time, after uni graduation.


              Eg

              Many Engineering manufacturing related jobs had shifted from Sg to China factories, last time.

              Now, from China, they began to shift manufacturing jobs to Vietnam, as Vietnam manufacturing costs is cheaper, than that of China.

              Recall last time, there was a book entitled, \"Who moved my cheese \"?

              The cheese : for Engineering manufacturing jobs, had moved from Sg to China factories.
              Now that China is growing affluent, her citizens getting wealthy, the cheese : in turn, moving from China to Vietnam, or to any other cheaper production costs' country.

              Changes, are constantly going on.



              Also, if those jobs can be taken over by robots, these jobs will disappear too.

              Example

              Jobs like delivery postmen, security guards, book-keeper, tele-marketing staff, delivery-truck drivers, etc. can disappear one day in future, via automation.


              In the medical industry :
              surgeons in some hospital already currently replaced by robots, who can do corrective eye surgery, knee cap replacement surgery, etc.


              What other jobs, can possibly disappear too in future, going forward ?

              Read on :-

              http://wadhwa.com/2014/07/21/were-heading-into-a-jobless-future-no-matter-what-the-government-does/

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              • phtthpP Offline
                phtthp
                last edited by

                janet88:
                vinegar:

                [quote=\"janet88\"]

                Sg is a better place to work. That's why we hv many foreigners work here.

                i told him get work experience first before going overseas. he is still rather young....overseas attachment no problem (i will ask hubby to take leave to check on him :evil: )

                [/quote]Sg Have so many FT working here.

                One example : IT industry

                https://www.allsingaporestuff.com/article/lee-hsien-loong-totally-outsmarted-indias-ceca-agreement#.WQrSf-la8TA.email


                likewise, if due to the industry your son join after uni / poly graduation, and he need to travel or work overseas, one have to be open-minded.

                As your two children are growing up day by day, time passes very quickly, son in Tertiary, daughter in Secondary school, soon one day, they will leave the nest, after marriage. Time & tide wait for no men. Time passes swiftly !
                Days turn into weeks. Weeks turn into another year, swiftly.

                Thus, it is important to \"find your own purpose in life\" : try to find something meaningful to do on your own, so that when your 2 children grown up: have their own life to live, as parents, u also have your own life to live. Not revolve 24/7, around their life. They are no longer babies, nor toddlers.

                Also, when your son get married one day, it will be his wife by his side, taking care of his needs more, than us (parents), esp if after marriage, he decide to shift out to stay elsewhere with his wife, not stay with parents anymore.

                In general, many daughters in law don't like to live together under the same roof, with their mother-in-law, to prevent friction (quarrel)

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                • janet88J Offline
                  janet88
                  last edited by

                  phtthp:

                  likewise, if due to the industry your son join after uni graduation, and he need to travel or work overseas, one have to be open-minded.

                  As your two children are growing up day by day, time passes very quickly, son in Tertiary, daughter in Secondary school, soon one day, they will leave the nest, after marriage. Time pass swiftly !
                  Days turn into weeks. Weeks turn into year, swiftly.

                  Thus, it is important to \"find your own life\" : try to find something meaningful to do on your own, so that when your 2 children grown up: have their own life to live, as parents, u also have your own life to live. Not revolve 24/7, around their life. They are no longer babies, nor toddlers.

                  Also, when your son get married one day, it will be his wife by his side, taking care of his needs more, than us (parents), esp if after marriage, he decide to shift out to stay elsewhere with his wife, not stay with parents anymore.

                  In general, many daughters in law don't like to live together under the same roof, with their mother-in-law, to prevent friction (quarrel)
                  son will enlist for NS...that will be the time i will miss him greatly.

                  yes when he gets married one day, his wife will be taking care of him. i don't wish to stay with him or he will be sandwiched between his wife and mother.

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • phtthpP Offline
                    phtthp
                    last edited by

                    janet88:


                    yes when he gets married one day, his wife will be taking care of him. i don't wish to stay with him or he will be sandwiched between his wife and mother.
                    yes, after he get married one day, his wife will be the one taking care of him.

                    your spouse is there to provide companionship to u, after both your two children get married.

                    That's why while you still have energy now : try to find something meaningful to do, to yourself.
                    You've taken care of them for so many years, since babies. You've sacrificed and given so much to them, for more than one decade already. Is High time to think for yourself, to live for yourself.
                    you need to live your own life !

                    Do not live your life, for your son, nor for your daughter, anymore.

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • janet88J Offline
                      janet88
                      last edited by

                      phtthp:

                      your spouse is there to provide companionship to u, after both your two children get married.

                      That's why while you still have energy now : try to find something meaningful to do, to yourself.
                      You've taken care of them for so many years, since babies. You've sacrificed and given so much to them, already. Is High time to think for yourself, to live for yourself.
                      you need to live your own life !
                      well said phtthp.
                      my older one is off my radar, academic wise...but still have to make sure he doesn't join the wrong company. his classmates hang out after school and have been asking him to join them for movies.

                      i am asking hubby to tone down his tuition session, esp those who stay very far...in the long run, his health is very important. it doesn't make sense if he doesn't know whether it's Sunday or Monday. that's very scary.

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                      • F Offline
                        FantasyLandDreams
                        last edited by

                        Not sure where to post this.

                        Is there any free grief counselling service or grief support group in Singapore? Where can we find such a list or their contacts? Thanks.

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