Child leaving for overseas studies, how do you cope?

[phtthp]

janet88:

vinegar:

[quote=\"janet88\"]

Sg is a better place to work. That's why we hv many foreigners work here.

i told him get work experience first before going overseas. he is still rather young....overseas attachment no problem (i will ask hubby to take leave to check on him :evil: )

[/quote]Sg Have so many FT working here.

One example : IT industry

https://www.allsingaporestuff.com/article/lee-hsien-loong-totally-outsmarted-indias-ceca-agreement#.WQrSf-la8TA.email


likewise, if due to the industry your son join after uni / poly graduation, and he need to travel or work overseas, one have to be open-minded.

As your two children are growing up day by day, time passes very quickly, son in Tertiary, daughter in Secondary school, soon one day, they will leave the nest, after marriage. Time & tide wait for no men. Time passes swiftly !
Days turn into weeks. Weeks turn into another year, swiftly.

Thus, it is important to \"find your own purpose in life\" : try to find something meaningful to do on your own, so that when your 2 children grown up: have their own life to live, as parents, u also have your own life to live. Not revolve 24/7, around their life. They are no longer babies, nor toddlers.

Also, when your son get married one day, it will be his wife by his side, taking care of his needs more, than us (parents), esp if after marriage, he decide to shift out to stay elsewhere with his wife, not stay with parents anymore.

In general, many daughters in law don't like to live together under the same roof, with their mother-in-law, to prevent friction (quarrel)

[janet88]

phtthp:

likewise, if due to the industry your son join after uni graduation, and he need to travel or work overseas, one have to be open-minded.

As your two children are growing up day by day, time passes very quickly, son in Tertiary, daughter in Secondary school, soon one day, they will leave the nest, after marriage. Time pass swiftly !
Days turn into weeks. Weeks turn into year, swiftly.

Thus, it is important to \"find your own life\" : try to find something meaningful to do on your own, so that when your 2 children grown up: have their own life to live, as parents, u also have your own life to live. Not revolve 24/7, around their life. They are no longer babies, nor toddlers.

Also, when your son get married one day, it will be his wife by his side, taking care of his needs more, than us (parents), esp if after marriage, he decide to shift out to stay elsewhere with his wife, not stay with parents anymore.

In general, many daughters in law don't like to live together under the same roof, with their mother-in-law, to prevent friction (quarrel)

son will enlist for NS...that will be the time i will miss him greatly.

yes when he gets married one day, his wife will be taking care of him. i don't wish to stay with him or he will be sandwiched between his wife and mother.

[phtthp]

janet88:

yes when he gets married one day, his wife will be taking care of him. i don't wish to stay with him or he will be sandwiched between his wife and mother.

yes, after he get married one day, his wife will be the one taking care of him.

your spouse is there to provide companionship to u, after both your two children get married.

That's why while you still have energy now : try to find something meaningful to do, to yourself.
You've taken care of them for so many years, since babies. You've sacrificed and given so much to them, for more than one decade already. Is High time to think for yourself, to live for yourself.
you need to live your own life !

Do not live your life, for your son, nor for your daughter, anymore.

[janet88]

phtthp:

your spouse is there to provide companionship to u, after both your two children get married.

That's why while you still have energy now : try to find something meaningful to do, to yourself.
You've taken care of them for so many years, since babies. You've sacrificed and given so much to them, already. Is High time to think for yourself, to live for yourself.
you need to live your own life !

well said phtthp.
my older one is off my radar, academic wise...but still have to make sure he doesn't join the wrong company. his classmates hang out after school and have been asking him to join them for movies.

i am asking hubby to tone down his tuition session, esp those who stay very far...in the long run, his health is very important. it doesn't make sense if he doesn't know whether it's Sunday or Monday. that's very scary.

[FantasyLandDreams]

Not sure where to post this.

Is there any free grief counselling service or grief support group in Singapore? Where can we find such a list or their contacts? Thanks.

[Estéema]

There used to be a Care & Counselling Centre at Penang Road. You can try Touch Community Service & check with available counsellors.



TOUCH Community Services
Blk 162 Bukit Merah Central
#05-3545 Singapore 150162
Tel: 6377 0122 Fax: 6377 0121
Email: [email protected]

[pinky]

Son is leaving for overseas studies in a few days time. We will be accompanying him there.

Very sad to see him leave but seeing him looking forward to a new chapter in his life, perhaps I should too. It is challenging but I hope with the help of counsellor I will be able to overcome my depression.

[hercules]

pinky:

Son is leaving for overseas studies in a few days time. We will be accompanying him there.

Very sad to see him leave but seeing him looking forward to a new chapter in his life, perhaps I should too. It is challenging but I hope with the help of counsellor I will be able to overcome my depression.

Ya, I know of several kids who either had flown off this week or are flying off next week for UK study. Most have their orientation week starts from tmr. I am beginning to have pix of kids in their new dorms and them posting in front of those 'red'brick' buildings while shopping.

They will have fun and grow/mature a lot for sure over the next 3 - 4 years (I saw many kids went and came and almost all turned 'more solid' and independent.)

Go and have fun shopping for dorm's necessities (the filtered kettle, curtain if need, LED table lamp, etc). After the set up, he has to learn how to survive on own (no issue at all esp after NS training).

(when my son was there, my main guideline to him is no drugs and no casual sex as he is overall good looking that can be a 'liability' at times. He seemed to have observed this main guideline (the rest I left it to him if he wanted to party etc as long as he kept up with his schoolwork that he also did relatively well. After graduating, he works frequently for overseas nature assignments and so I still hardly see him. I am glad that he now can truly fly solo with confidence and I have finished my 'duty' in raising this human that I can then swift my focus on raising others. With the focus on others, I have no 'downtime' at all and always feel my life is fulfilling and worth living. Hope you can also soon find what is really fulfilling for yourself and live your life to the fullest.)).

[pinky]

Thank you for sharing hercules. I gave the same advice to my son too. He is looking forward to start his studies and though I hate to see him go, I will have to tell myself it’s all for his good.

[Sun_2010]

pinky:

Thank you for sharing hercules. I gave the same advice to my son too. He is looking forward to start his studies and though I hate to see him go, I will have to tell myself it's all for his good.

Pinky , for a mother's heart, it is not easy.
\"I will have to tell myself it's all for his good\"
And your good too. Dont forget to remind yourself that .
You have raised a smart young man, now it is time to watch him fly from the background.