DSA 2017

[Harrychew]

E2014:

Harrychew:

[quote=\"charchel\"]This is a very sad case. She is DSA sport student. My DD1 is her senior in CCA and was giving her some 'counselling' in March, she had few friends in the class(heard only 3 of them talked to her) so was upset about it. But, she seemed okay after that and talked happily & enjoyed training, they wanted to talk to her last Fri again after the school but she committed suicide the day before, the whole team was very sad any my DD1 thought things could be different if they could talk to her earlier, DD1 cried few times. We told her that there was no sign at all and even her own parents didnt notice it, moreover she is not a trained counsellor, heard she was still doing baking together with friends before the incident.


P/S. My DD1 is in IP and not via DSA so she might not know if it is really hard for DSA students to cope with the studies.

Parents and educators should take full responsibility for CCA DSA kids. It is unfair to for the schoolmates to shoulder the blame. Educators have known about issues with non-academic DSA for decades (before DSA, top schools regularly took in weak students to win sports medals). Putting a sports kid with average academic ability in a top academic school is just like putting a nerd in a sports school. Even if there is no explicit bullying, the child will be very self-conscious and may start magnifying every single slight, imaginary or real.

Teenagers may crack under relentless pressure as they have yet to develop the maturity to handle so much in such a short time. Some will become withdrawn, while some will rebel, and a few will be mentally ill as a result of so much pressure.

This is truly a sad case. We should stop sharing details of her circumstances. Much of which would really be just our own speculations and interpretations of what she went thru. Please spare a thought for her parents.[/quote]Her parents already shared with journalists that child was bullied in school and upset over her math test result. Now the schoolmates are feeling both guilt ridden and sad. It is also a known fact that many DSA students are facing pressure academically. Not sure if you understand the facts of this matter.

[E2014]

You said some of her classmates are guilt-ridden. By keep talkg abt it wont it worsen this? Especially we know some of the kids also read this forum. What her parents share to journalist is up to them perhaps they are looking for some form of closure. Besides we are also aware of how some reporters would dig for stories with angle to help their headlines ie sales. This forum is afterall meant as DSA posting discussion so let’s keep it that way. Cheers!

[taurbear]

Anyone has any insider info w sota on the results?

[taurbear]

Anyone has any insider info w sota on the results?

[miiniworld]

taurbear:

Anyone has any insider info w sota on the results?

finally someone asked about sota i was wondering all weekend, is it parents who apply for sota very chill or cos sota has very standardised process, which leaves very little room for guessing

in the meantime... waiting...

[taurbear]

miiniworld:

taurbear:

Anyone has any insider info w sota on the results?

finally someone asked about sota i was wondering all weekend, is it parents who apply for sota very chill or cos sota has very standardised process, which leaves very little room for guessing

in the meantime... waiting...

the process is standardised.... wondering if results will be released ard same time as last year

[Happy70]

Did sota’s results come out around 12 Aug last year? Not too long now!

[tyeogh]

E2014:

You said some of her classmates are guilt-ridden. By keep talkg abt it wont it worsen this? Especially we know some of the kids also read this forum. What her parents share to journalist is up to them perhaps they are looking for some form of closure. Besides we are also aware of how some reporters would dig for stories with angle to help their headlines ie sales. This forum is afterall meant as DSA posting discussion so let's keep it that way. Cheers!

I have a different opinion. When I see a pit, I prefer to tell others about it notwithstanding that it is a difficult topic. This unfortunate event is indeed related to DSA - the victim is a DSA Sports student. One will never know the real reason why she took her life unless one interviews her but there are a few important lessons to be gleaned.

One, do not set up your child to fail. This girl was admitted via DSA Sports to a top secondary school, and was reported to be upset over a borderline pass in Maths. Cedar exam papers are tough. My sec 1 dd who joined via DSA Academic had borderline passes in a few subjects too. I can only imagine how badly the entire cohort did - she told me half the class failed in one subject. For DSA Sports, there is an innate pressure to maintain or better one's sporting abilities. If your child is not able to do well in both academia and sports, do consider very carefully whether DSA Sports is suitable. This is a good wake up call to DSA hopeful parents. It is irresponsible to just aim (psycho, persuade, force your child to go) for a reputable school via Sports and leave her to figure out how to cope with the school work. There are other schools to consider too. You need not choose the best. In your pursuit for a good school, you may have miscalculated the cost.

Two, always watch your child's mental health closely, especially if she is in a top school. This incident is not isolate. I read about other suicides cases in RI. One night, I caught my dd sobbing quietly to herself. Got her to confide in me. She told me she had to hand in 6 projects in a few weeks time. I have never seen my dd cry over school work because she is a 90% average in primary school. It shows that everyone has a breaking point. I have another P6 dd who became fidgety last year. My instincts told me something was wrong. I got my wife to check her phone. She was apparently cyber bullied. One classmate threatened to spread rumors my dd is a lesbian unless she sent that classmate a photo of her in a certain pose. Kids these days mature fast. In these 2 cases, I was fortunate enough to detect it early before it became a problem.

Three, always make sure your kids have friends in school. Don't assume. It is their most basic support structure. I know the names of my kids' friends more than I know what they are studying.

Four, there is a transition from primary school to secondary school. 4 subjects to 8 subjects (I think) . Grades will inevitably fall. School hours are longer. Set the expectations correctly.

Five, you may not have explicitly and directly pressured your child, but the school you choose is entitled to uphold its standards and to set its own expectations. It should be obvious that top schools don't choose low standards. So choose wisely. Are you sure you want your child in a pressure cooker? Can she survive in one?

If you did explicitly and directly pressured your child, shame on you. You should read about this unfortunate event. There are more things in life than \"going to a good school\".

[cool_hi]

tyeogh:

I have a different opinion. When I see a pit, I prefer to tell others about it notwithstanding that it is a difficult topic. This unfortunate event is indeed related to DSA - the victim is a DSA Sports student. One will never know the real reason why she took her life unless one interviews her but there are a few important lessons to be gleaned.

One, do not set up your child to fail. This girl was admitted via DSA Sports to a top secondary school, and was reported to be upset over a borderline pass in Maths. Cedar exam papers are tough. My sec 1 dd who joined via DSA Academic had borderline passes in a few subjects too. I can only imagine how badly the entire cohort did - she told me half the class failed in one subject. For DSA Sports, there is an innate pressure to maintain or better one's sporting abilities. If your child is not able to do well in both academia and sports, do consider very carefully whether DSA Sports is suitable. This is a good wake up call to DSA hopeful parents. It is irresponsible to just aim (psycho, persuade, force your child to go) for a reputable school via Sports and leave her to figure out how to cope with the school work. There are other schools to consider too. You need not choose the best. In your pursuit for a good school, you may have miscalculated the cost.

Two, always watch your child's mental health closely, especially if she is in a top school. This incident is not isolate. I read about other suicides cases in RI. One night, I caught my dd sobbing quietly to herself. Got her to confide in me. She told me she had to hand in 6 projects in a few weeks time. I have never seen my dd cry over school work because she is a 90% average in primary school. It shows that everyone has a breaking point. I have another P6 dd who became fidgety last year. My instincts told me something was wrong. I got my wife to check her phone. She was apparently cyber bullied. One classmate threatened to spread rumors my dd is a lesbian unless she sent that classmate a photo of her in a certain pose. Kids these days mature fast. In these 2 cases, I was fortunate enough to detect it early before it became a problem.

Three, always make sure your kids have friends in school. Don't assume. It is their most basic support structure. I know the names of my kids' friends more than I know what they are studying.

Four, there is a transition from primary school to secondary school. 4 subjects to 8 subjects (I think) . Grades will inevitably fall. School hours are longer. Set the expectations correctly.

Five, you may not have explicitly and directly pressured your child, but the school you choose is entitled to uphold its standards and to set its own expectations. It should be obvious that top schools don't choose low standards. So choose wisely. Are you sure you want your child in a pressure cooker? Can she survive in one?

If you did explicitly and directly pressured your child, shame on you. You should read about this unfortunate event. There are more things in life than \"going to a good school\".

:goodpost:
Totally agree! Thanks for your detailed sharing & advice/reminders!!That's the main reason why we did not let my gal try DSA through Dance..
& prefer her to work hard through normal channel of psle..
Even if she qualify for IP,we may not let her take it as the number of projects to handle,with Cca,studies etc,is no joke!!
(I too,had heard 1st hand news,a few times, on suicide cases from a top school,coz know someone teaching there..very very sad..)

even if a child got into top school via psle results,do note that not all can manage well with secondary school life & syllabus, with double subjects,cca,projects,peer pressure,building friendship, etc..Do communicate with kids frequently,instead of assuming that they are managing well..
intellectual competence does not equate to emotional competence!!

[Yngmng]

tyeogh:

E2014:

You said some of her classmates are guilt-ridden. By keep talkg abt it wont it worsen this? Especially we know some of the kids also read this forum. What her parents share to journalist is up to them perhaps they are looking for some form of closure. Besides we are also aware of how some reporters would dig for stories with angle to help their headlines ie sales. This forum is afterall meant as DSA posting discussion so let's keep it that way. Cheers!

I have a different opinion. When I see a pit, I prefer to tell others about it notwithstanding that it is a difficult topic. This unfortunate event is indeed related to DSA - the victim is a DSA Sports student. One will never know the real reason why she took her life unless one interviews her but there are a few important lessons to be gleaned.

One, do not set up your child to fail. This girl was admitted via DSA Sports to a top secondary school, and was reported to be upset over a borderline pass in Maths. Cedar exam papers are tough. My sec 1 dd who joined via DSA Academic had borderline passes in a few subjects too. I can only imagine how badly the entire cohort did - she told me half the class failed in one subject. For DSA Sports, there is an innate pressure to maintain or better one's sporting abilities. If your child is not able to do well in both academia and sports, do consider very carefully whether DSA Sports is suitable. This is a good wake up call to DSA hopeful parents. It is irresponsible to just aim (psycho, persuade, force your child to go) for a reputable school via Sports and leave her to figure out how to cope with the school work. There are other schools to consider too. You need not choose the best. In your pursuit for a good school, you may have miscalculated the cost.

Two, always watch your child's mental health closely, especially if she is in a top school. This incident is not isolate. I read about other suicides cases in RI. One night, I caught my dd sobbing quietly to herself. Got her to confide in me. She told me she had to hand in 6 projects in a few weeks time. I have never seen my dd cry over school work because she is a 90% average in primary school. It shows that everyone has a breaking point. I have another P6 dd who became fidgety last year. My instincts told me something was wrong. I got my wife to check her phone. She was apparently cyber bullied. One classmate threatened to spread rumors my dd is a lesbian unless she sent that classmate a photo of her in a certain pose. Kids these days mature fast. In these 2 cases, I was fortunate enough to detect it early before it became a problem.

Three, always make sure your kids have friends in school. Don't assume. It is their most basic support structure. I know the names of my kids' friends more than I know what they are studying.

Four, there is a transition from primary school to secondary school. 4 subjects to 8 subjects (I think) . Grades will inevitably fall. School hours are longer. Set the expectations correctly.

Five, you may not have explicitly and directly pressured your child, but the school you choose is entitled to uphold its standards and to set its own expectations. It should be obvious that top schools don't choose low standards. So choose wisely. Are you sure you want your child in a pressure cooker? Can she survive in one?

If you did explicitly and directly pressured your child, shame on you. You should read about this unfortunate event. There are more things in life than \"going to a good school\".

:goodpost:

There is a reason for allocating secondary schools based on PSLE results or JC based on O level results. Time for the policy makers to review DSA via non academic. Personally, will never opt for this route for DD2. If she wishes to pursue her interest in ballet, will consider SOTA instead.

Going to a suitable school is more important than going to a reputable school.

Yes, inportant to look out for signs our child is feeling stressed. But, this can be challenging given that they are teenagers and value privacy. Hubby send DD1 to school and the car journey is a good time to talk. When DD1 goes out to attend outside school functions or do projects, we try to send her there. It helps us to know who are her friends.