Club Only Child Club
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yes yes!
i have a colleague who told me that with no.2, the children will learn to play with each other and then you have time at your hands. but some how i don't buy it.
i mean, i was told that it would get easier as the child grows older. true and untrue. yes, she is older and can play on her own and in time, learn to bath and do other things herself but she also has more homework to do. i need to supervise her. she is growing and needs to learn about values and i need to take time to explain to her why there are times when she can do this and yet at other times she can't and she is only 5!
i don't just want to be a parent, i want to be a good and responsible parent: one, whose child does not give problems to her teachers in school too.sakura_2009:
Same feelings here...when i share this with some of my friends or colleagues, they will say: See, I told you to have more than 1 kid, than your kid will have the company of siblings then you can spend more time with hubby....OR, some will say - aiyohhhhh... you only have one kid and you already do not have enough time to spend with him, you sure? OR, some will say - aiyahhhh... when you have more than 1 kid, you will not have the time to think whether you are spending enough time with him or her, you will be happy just making sure all the kids get their basics!! :lol:
Guess it ultimately boils down to each parent truly giving their best (time and effort) in bringing up an only child... :celebrate: -
MMM:
Yes I can totally identify. I felt very happy being an only child, esp in the teenage years when i didn't have to share the housephone! I can't remember whether i asked for a sibling but i don't think so. my parents quite poor thing, also always kena hounded on why don't have more.
I enjoyed being the only child even up till today. I never felt lonely. I recalled when I was young, my mum would ask me if I wanted a sibling and I would say \"no\" everytime.
The pros about having 1 child is that, I am the only child, I know I must take care of my parents. This responsibility cannot be shared or \"push\" to someone else. With such mindset, this probably turn me into a \"responsible\" person. With everything I do, I always considered my parents and I aspire to let them have a better lifestyle, etc... Also being the only meant that alot of things that I do for my parents, I do not need to consult my sibling so it drives better decision making.
My hubby on the other hand had 4 other sisters and he is the only son. Frankly, I still cannot fully appreciate the siblings thingy as I never had a sibling. But by marrying him, it sort of made me experience how it feel like to have a sister. My relationship with my sils are amicable and we do family gatherings that also include my parents.
There is nothing wrong with having 1 child or more. It's a personal choice and there are pros and cons for each arrangement. Eg. If I only have 1 child iso 3, I know I can dedicate all my time and resources on him. Unlike now, it becomes suboptimal because there's only so much time that I can spend on guiding each of them for school work so there are alot of prioritisation involved.
the truth is that my dad always wanted a girl, and when he had me, he was happy enough to close shop. my mum had some health problems, but her doc said can still have during this 'window' period if want, then my dad said dowan. i think he was also concerned abt cost, cos he wasn't highly paid, and my mum was sahm from when i was 7.
I was quite a popular kid, and was blessed with many gd friends since kindy days. some kids would come my house and play, and cry when it was time to go home.
also, there are some friends i have who are even closer than siblings (from what I observe between some sibling relationships). And I'm glad to have them to turn to throughout life (BGR issues, etc)
Although must admit, am feeling the downside now. Cos have to shoulder the burden of ageing parents, who will likely have medical needs in future. no one to discuss with, except DH, and it's not the same as having a sibling, cos he also has his parents to care for and think about. And best friends can't share the emotional burden of caring for your parents.
So, cos of this 'later in life' downside, i am planning to have more than 1.
But on 'completeness' I'd say even a couple with no kids (for whatever reasons) are COMPLETE. They are a complete family. Don't let anyone browbeat you into thinking otherwise. -
True. Anything, 1 person settle.
Saw neighbour Ah Pek has 7 kids, plus in-laws, is like a football team. Any crisis, wow, :!: so many pple turn up to help.... :celebrate:
My kid will be very stress if any crisis. satu orang
unless I find him 4 wives? :love: :celebrate: -
toddles:
For those who chose to have only one child, I guess this is a fact that would have been discussed and accepted already, isn't it?
The pros about having 1 child is that, I am the only child, I know I must take care of my parents. This responsibility cannot be shared or \"push\" to someone else.
Although must admit, am feeling the downside now. Cos have to shoulder the burden of ageing parents, who will likely have medical needs in future. no one to discuss with, except DH, and it's not the same as having a sibling, cos he also has his parents to care for and think about. And best friends can't share the emotional burden of caring for your parents.
:roll: -
Donkey Kong:
I beg to disagree that having more kids will ensure one be looked after in old age. I know of someone who has 4 sons, and now that he is in his twilight years, ill and bed-ridden, they all sent him to an old folk's home instead of hiring a maid to look after him at home. So sad...True. Anything, 1 person settle.
Saw neighbour Ah Pek has 7 kids, plus in-laws, is like a football team. Any crisis, wow, :!: so many pple turn up to help.... :celebrate:
My kid will be very stress if any crisis. satu orang
unless I find him 4 wives? :love: :celebrate:
Nowadays, having kids does not guarantee one can an siang wan nian, so better to save enough for our old age, keep ourselves in good health instead of depending on our kids. -
2 kids are idealy for a modern family, at least they can take care each other when they grow upβ¦
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Angelight:
Yup, that's true. There's no guarantee that having more kids will ensure the kids will look after the parents in their twilight years. There could be a variety of reasons ranging from 'disagreements' between siblings - who should looked after the parents...to the inability of the children either financially or otherwise since they may have their own families to look after too etc. The concept of ε »εΏι²θ does not hold water anymore....
I beg to disagree that having more kids will ensure one be looked after in old age. I know of someone who has 4 sons, and now that he is in his twilight years, ill and bed-ridden, they all sent him to an old folk's home instead of hiring a maid to look after him at home. So sad...
Nowadays, having kids does not guarantee one can an siang wan nian, so better to save enough for our old age, keep ourselves in good health instead of depending on our kids.
So the best bet is still to make sure we are financially capable of looking after ourselves, and to keep ourselves as fit as we can, at least to 'lighten' the emotional burden of our only child
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Agree whole-heartedly :celebrate:
That's why DH is working very hard now to save for our twilight years so as not to be a financial burden to our only child in future. Not easy, since he is the sole bread winner...sakura_2009:
Yup, that's true. There's no guarantee that having more kids will ensure the kids will look after the parents in their twilight years. There could be a variety of reasons ranging from 'disagreements' between siblings - who should looked after the parents...to the inability of the children either financially or otherwise since they may have their own families to look after too etc. The concept of ε »εΏι²θ does not hold water anymore....Angelight:
I beg to disagree that having more kids will ensure one be looked after in old age. I know of someone who has 4 sons, and now that he is in his twilight years, ill and bed-ridden, they all sent him to an old folk's home instead of hiring a maid to look after him at home. So sad...
Nowadays, having kids does not guarantee one can an siang wan nian, so better to save enough for our old age, keep ourselves in good health instead of depending on our kids.
So the best bet is still to make sure we are financially capable of looking after ourselves, and to keep ourselves as fit as we can, at least to 'lighten' the emotional burden of our only child -
Angelight:
Alamak, my colleague's financial planning is wrong? :?
I beg to disagree that having more kids will ensure one be looked after in old age. I know of someone who has 4 sons, and now that he is in his twilight years, ill and bed-ridden, they all sent him to an old folk's home instead of hiring a maid to look after him at home. So sad...Donkey Kong:
True. Anything, 1 person settle.
Saw neighbour Ah Pek has 7 kids, plus in-laws, is like a football team. Any crisis, wow, :!: so many pple turn up to help.... :celebrate:
My kid will be very stress if any crisis. satu orang
unless I find him 4 wives? :love: :celebrate:
Nowadays, having kids does not guarantee one can an siang wan nian, so better to save enough for our old age, keep ourselves in good health instead of depending on our kids.
He works to pay for their tuitions, so that all three kids become GEP, then all universities. Then, educates them daily by chanting: must give dad/mom $$$ when you grow up.
He expects to collect $1500 each from 3 kids after 60. Wow, S$4500 monthly income.. better than annuity from AIA. He said educating them now very important. Programming into their brains. Must feed parents. :celebrate:
Do you think it will work? :lol: -
If one of his kid end up giving him more than 1k a month very lucky liao.. ...
My DH's friend earning big bucks, but give parents $200 a month..
its really heng sway..
Juz me 2 cents
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