All About Bullying

[iceywind88]

lee_yl:

According to a survey, Singapore ranked 3rd in the world, for school bullying.


http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/education/republic-has-third-highest-rate-of-bullying-globally

http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/education/bullying-in-schools-being-monitored-closely-moe

i wonder how do they conduct these surveys. interview the students?

[jedamum]

Bullying cases will only reduce when we teach our kids to not only speak up for themselves but also to speak up for others. How many of us only sit up when our kids get bullied? In normal circumstances, do we tell our kids to mind their own business or speak up for the weaker kids? In bullying incidents, the bully is not the only one at fault - the bystanders who do nothing are too.

[andee]

JS rolling:

Bullying is not something that should be brushed off. However, kids should not handle the issue themselves. Parents and/or teachers should step in once bullying of any type starts. There should be warning signs that everyone should be aware of. Sadly, bullying is an ongoing epidemic that has yet to be addressed.

Great point. But while I believe that \"bullying\" or whatever you want to call it (teasing, fighting, etc) will always be a part of a kids life...being kids, we should not let it go to the point where physical and emotional pain is inflicted. Even taunting is unacceptable. I feel for those kids who suffer from it. Parents and teachers should always be on the lookout for warning signs in order to prevent this from happening.

[realtalk]

lee_yl:

According to a survey, Singapore ranked 3rd in the world, for school bullying.


http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/education/republic-has-third-highest-rate-of-bullying-globally

http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/education/bullying-in-schools-being-monitored-closely-moe

I wonder how valid this survey is. If it's legit, it's not something Singapore, or any nation for that matter, should brag about.

[swortionery]

jedamum:

Bullying cases will only reduce when we teach our kids to not only speak up for themselves but also to speak up for others. How many of us only sit up when our kids get bullied? In normal circumstances, do we tell our kids to mind their own business or speak up for the weaker kids? In bullying incidents, the bully is not the only one at fault - the bystanders who do nothing are too.

Agreed. Part of my https://swordsandstationery.com/about/ is to teach kids the necessary skills to not only stand up for themselves, but to also do the right thing for those in their learning environments. The instructional process that we engage in typically spans months, but it can be condensed to a few points:

- Be aware of your own actions and their effect on yourself and others
- Be aware of an intangible attribute called the 'mental muscle' that can be trained over time
- Be aware that, while others can help you, you hold a good share of the responsibility necessary to build a positive environment
- As such, be aware that retaliation, in any form whatsoever, although possibly being a means of escape, is not the ultimate long-term solution for both parties -- and by 'retaliation', I mean anything that forcibly stops the bully from acting out, whether from the bullied or from an authority figure

I don't condone bullying, but it's too idealistic to expect it not to happen. Rather, I treat them as teachable moments to guide my students' emotions and behaviour, steering them towards a more positive way of thinking. The best outcome of this would be for bullied kids to stand up for themselves and change the hearts of 'naughty' kids too. Parents (and educators), remember, our role in our kids' lives is to be that of a mediator, not judge, jury and executioner.

(and yes, I know that that too is very much an idealistic expectation, but every inch of awareness helps)

[mindbogglers27]

It’s sad that bullying is still prevalent up to now. Despite all the efforts to spread awareness on the issue or numerous anti-bullying campaigns, it’s still a major concern not just among kids, but teenagers as well. Bullying may well lead to depression which is an even bigger issue to combat. Parents and teachers should keep their eyes open for any signs that may point to it.

[SMH FOREST]

After suffering from bullying for a year, my child is keen to transfer school. However, I’m stumped on the reason to write on the transfer form. Will schools accept this as a valid reason? My child have had a tough year and I’d like to support his desire as best as possible. Any guidance please?

[zac's mum]

SMH FOREST:

After suffering from bullying for a year, my child is keen to transfer school. However, I’m stumped on the reason to write on the transfer form. Will schools accept this as a valid reason? My child have had a tough year and I’d like to support his desire as best as possible. Any guidance please?

Hi i believe it would be better to just honestly write bullying as the reason. Did the bullying occur only for this 1 year? Before that no problem? And was it isolated bullying by 1 child? Who cannot be avoided even if transferred to another class in the current school? Or was it a case of mass group bullying and escalated so bad that the only way is to exit the school? I'm not asking you to answer here on the forum. But you could explain on the form if you think it helps the child's chances for transfer.

Please also have a good think about what if...what if in the new school, similar incidents happen also? Has your child learnt and developed coping strategies? Also if your son is currently in a boys school, the chances of bullying may be lessened if transferred to a co-ed school. After all, only half will be boys there.

All these are valid reasons and explanations that you can put in the form. An understanding school/principal will take these into consideration. Conversely, schools that don't care will not allow transfer for such reason. You don't need such schools anyway.

Jia you! All the best to your child for next year!

[swortionery]

Echoing what zac's mum said: I've had students before who had transferred to another school when the bullying got really bad. Things did get better for them, but bear in mind they also did receive social skills training (under me and another speech therapist). You might want to look into that -- have a look at the Incredible Years workshop for parents, conducted by NUH: https://www.nuh.com.sg/umc/about-us/about-us/department-of-psychological-medicine/clinical-services/key-programmes/reach-west/interventions-and-group-programs.html

[SMH FOREST]

Thank you zac’s mum and swortionery!


Yes, it started with an individual but that individual has been influencing the rest of the classmates and friends to give my boy the cold treatment and isolating him. It’s gotten bad that he often is alone during recess and cant fimd teammates for class work. I’ve also requested my boy to be under the school’s counsellor review.

Challenge on transfering schools is none are open about when they are reviewing vacancies. Son is very keen on transfer and I’m a bit helpless on how to give him a fresh start by next year.

Thanks swortionery for the sharing about the social skills training at NUH. I did not know that this is available and this is definitely something I feel we should enrol for. I was looking at other counselling previously and wasn’t sure which direction to go for. The Incredible Years workshop appears spot on for us (parents) and for my son.