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    Me Time!

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    • A Offline
      ammonite
      last edited by

      Star can look forward to grandchildren in a few years’ time? In the meantime rekindle the romance with DH?

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      • sharonkhooS Offline
        sharonkhoo
        last edited by

        ammonite:
        Star can look forward to grandchildren in a few years’ time? In the meantime rekindle the romance with DH?

        It's unlikely to be that soon - nowadays, girls marry around 28yo on average. I've been attending many weddings lately, and the brides are generally around that age or even older, maybe a year or 2 younger at the most. And many don't plan on having kids immediately.

        Spending more time with her husband is a better idea! My younger daughter is the same age as SL's daughter, and I've been enjoying the \"half-empty\" nest to some degree, though I do miss having the kids at home more as well. Can't have it all.

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        • A Offline
          ammonite
          last edited by

          To be honest, now that I have gone through motherhood, I would encourage my kids to start a family at a younger age. Start earlier (with family support) and you can enjoy the fruits of your labour sooner.

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          • MyPillowM Offline
            MyPillow
            last edited by

            ammonite:
            To be honest, now that I have gone through motherhood, I would encourage my kids to start a family at a younger age. Start earlier (with family support) and you can enjoy the fruits of your labour sooner.

            For what I observed , those with daughters will be gone grandparents earlier than those with boys . Girls norm married bet 28 to 30 , if the groom is 2 to 4 yrs older then mummy with boys will need to wait longer for grandkids - I got married earlier n gave birth earlier compared to my male cousins abt same age range . My kids are Sec/ PRI Sch , but theirs are PRI/ pre Sch. ...

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            • sharonkhooS Offline
              sharonkhoo
              last edited by

              ammonite:
              To be honest, now that I have gone through motherhood, I would encourage my kids to start a family at a younger age. Start earlier (with family support) and you can enjoy the fruits of your labour sooner.

              Same here, but it may be hard for them to be so \"out of synch\" with their friends. Also, I find that young adults are maturing later, so they are often not mentally prepared for the responsibilities of being a parent (or even being a spouse!) in their mid-20s. Especially those who were very focused on academics and achievements into their 20s - they seem to need some time to focus on other things after that. Those who started earlier may have worked it out of their system sooner?

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              • starlight1968sgS Offline
                starlight1968sg
                last edited by

                Tks slmkhoo and ammonite

                Yes, I am still looking for something which I can do or enjoy
                At times I do wish dd remains single and can be with me

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                • A Offline
                  ammonite
                  last edited by

                  starlight1968sg:
                  Tks slmkhoo and ammonite

                  Yes, I am still looking for something which I can do or enjoy
                  At times I do wish dd remains single and can be with me
                  :scared: But if that happens, you will start worrying for her when you are in your seventies and she is in her forties/fifties. Especially since she is an only child.

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                  • A Offline
                    ammonite
                    last edited by

                    slmkhoo:
                    ammonite:

                    To be honest, now that I have gone through motherhood, I would encourage my kids to start a family at a younger age. Start earlier (with family support) and you can enjoy the fruits of your labour sooner.


                    Same here, but it may be hard for them to be so \"out of synch\" with their friends. Also, I find that young adults are maturing later, so they are often not mentally prepared for the responsibilities of being a parent (or even being a spouse!) in their mid-20s. Especially those who were very focused on academics and achievements into their 20s - they seem to need some time to focus on other things after that. Those who started earlier may have worked it out of their system sooner?

                    Very hard to say. My friends have married at vastly different ages, so have my younger relatives. Some people cannot wait to get married and have kids, others never have the desire. Some have the best of plans but things don’t go their way. My kids know that I am ok if they don’t want to have kids, I am also ok if they have their kids in early twenties. I will never tell them that they should not have kids until they are established in their careers or finish their masters etc. Neither will I tell them that they must have kids otherwise they will be lonely. Every choice involves a sacrifice somewhere. My personal take is simply that it is easier and more enjoyable to be a younger parent than an older parent.

                    On second thoughts, it is “harder” to have kids young these days because the opportunity cost is so much more given the greater range of choices available.

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                    • JenniferJ Offline
                      Jennifer
                      last edited by

                      starlight1968sg:
                      Tks slmkhoo and ammonite

                      Yes, I am still looking for something which I can do or enjoy
                      At times I do wish dd remains single and can be with me
                      ST,
                      You will gain a \"son\" when your dd marries 😉

                      Quite many years back, FIL, by slip of tongue, told everyone that a business friend who has a daughter had wanted to matchmake her daughter and hubby.
                      The daughter is still unmarried and FIL had said that it is the protective mother who caused her only daughter to remain single.

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                      • starlight1968sgS Offline
                        starlight1968sg
                        last edited by

                        Jennifer

                        How to let go my flesh who is forever my baby?
                        I know I may be doing more harm than good to dd.

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