Talking about Death ...
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Today in the Straits Times it is reported there is a legal document \" Living Will\" to terminal your life if you become terminally ill.....
\"An Advance Medical Directive (AMD) is a legal document you sign in advance to inform your doctor that you do not want the use of any life-sustaining treatment to be used to prolong your life in the event you become terminally ill and unconscious and where death is imminent.\"
But it bit troublesome leh, must get a Doctor to endorse.... :roll:
Anybody done it before? Did the Doctor Charge ? :?:
I already made up my mind if I am diagnosed with uncurable illness, I will not spend a single cent on mediacl treatment....especially Cancer....
Till now I have no faith in Cancer BAttling.... :razz:
No point I spend lots of money on all the Chemical just to prolong my life.... :siao:
Eventually I will stay die.... :faint:
Now , I am a live , I will ensure I will fulfill my responsibilty as a mother and a daughter to my parents.... :imanangel:
When I leave this world , I will ensure my love ones will not suffer.... :love:
When I passed away , I already instructed my children , :snooze:
a)no burial ceremony...
I am nobody great ...no need to waste $$$ for the ceremony..., no need to advertise...
b)Just email to inform those who know me that I have given back my IC to the local authority...
c) Just have my ash scatter into the deep sea ,it would be best in Sentosa....
My favourite getaway in Singapore... -
I have done it before…so long ago. Just print out the document and get it endorsed with the doctor. Charges like normal consultation fee only.
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today's papers also mentioned that there is an increase in the no. of people who signed up, I guess many of us are put off at the ever increasing medical fees and aftercare services etc
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Actually when DH and I were looking at the AMD, we were looking more at not prolonging suffering unnecessarily and also not spend too much money on a lost cause. The other reason is to remove the burden of this decision from our loved ones.
But hor, up until today, we have not gotten it signed by our doctor. -
Another burial option:
https://zbschools.sg/cos/o.x?c=/ca7_zbs/zbs&func=view&rid=8701 -
Interesting! I never knew there was this thread. Thanks for reviving it.
I didn’t know that talking about death is still taboo today? In any case, DS encountered death in the family at age 2 (his own beloved Ah Kong, my own Daddy passed away from long drawn out cancer). At that point in time, he already could talk and understand that Ah Kong was leaving us. No way to shield him from this fact.
At preschool age he already asked us about what happens after death and we had an open discussion about all the different religions.
At age 7 we brought him to join our close friends at one of their father’s funeral. To comfort our friend (whom he already knew as a familiar Uncle) together and also to experience a Christian funeral service.
Once in a while we will remind him to treasure all his loved ones, because it’s a fact of life that death could happen when we least expect it. Vice versa, we try to treasure our time with him on this earth as much as possible. -
FantasyLandDreams:
This is an interesting perspective which was quoted in the article: “华人相信入土为安，有些人不会游泳，不想去世后骨灰被撒入海里。若把骨灰撒在陆地上，尽管亲人没有确切的安息处，但家属还是有个地方能探望亲人，而且相信会是更廉宜的选择。”Another burial option:
https://zbschools.sg/cos/o.x?c=/ca7_zbs/zbs&func=view&rid=8701
At least now there will be an extra option on top of the sea burial centre proposed at Tanah Merah. -
Stories might also be a really good way to introduce children to the concept of death. Packaged in a nonthreatening, engaging, and perhaps even beautiful way - I think that’s how I was introduced to it? I never feared it, but saw it as part of a larger cycle and process.
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Another way to introduce topic, esp to very very young kids, find chance when they step on an ant - draw the relation to recent demise of friends they know.
I find talking to kids abt animal death (pet fish, cats, dogs, etc) particularly helpful. DH refused to let kids get their wish to hv a doggy coz he says too painful to part. I wanna teach kids that it is normal to feel sad, just as we hv happy times, we will hv sad times. S’times kids’ll feel sad missing their favorite pets, but can gently tell them they’ve gone to a good place & that’s how human life like ours will end up too (in future). -
This discussion reminds me of my recent conversation with a taxi driver who is currently in his late 60s and I really applaud him for being so candid about death. He mentioned that he has only 1 child - only son, and he doesn't need his son to pay respect to him. So he has already instructed his son to just throw his ashes into the sea and if the family do not need to feel bad if they forget to pay respects to him, whether it is due to work, travel etc. He understands that it is very stressful to live in Singapore, so why make life so difficult for his child ? He lamented that there is no need to do \"all the work\" after his death. As long as his son is filial to him now, what more can he ask for?
I did thought about this before and it is the same situation for me when I can't pay respects to my grandma for various reasons, but that doesn't mean I don't remember her - to me, as long as she still has a place in my heart, paying respects is secondary. I have also made a note to speak to my children on this so that they don't have to stress too much.
That said, my parents are exactly the opposite. They still have the old school thinking, death to them is a taboo subject and I can't help it but feeling exasperated a times. They don't even want to discuss what kind of funeral (whether in a big bang or just peaceful way....) - i mean at least an indication. So I just take it that I probably have to \"use my common sense\" when the day comes. I just respect them for their decision to just not talk about it. Of course, I would like them to be 长命百岁, but still...
So for now, I just make sure they are comfortable, do my part as their daughter.
Actually I don't mind throwing my ashes into the sea. But who knows i might change my mind later when I am older ? Oh, life. :roll:
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