In-law problems?
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auntieM:
If she's spreading other relatives' misfortunes to you, can you imagine what she is telling others about you?!? I have always felt uneasy when I hear such stories from MIL. That is why I am usually quiet towards her. Don't want her to blab to others about me. Well, she will probably be saying to others I'm such a gobblock, always keeping quiet.
So so true ladies.. ...janet_lee88:
You can have a heart-to-heart talk with mum anytime, but NOT with MIL. They are not the ones who can 讲心 with you...deep down they will laugh. Not only that, they will spread your misfortune with the rest of her relatives.
Just had a meal with my MIL yesterday, she so happy relating relatives' misfortune.. ...
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kuzco,
Bo pian (no choice) one lah.. ...just have to live with it lor..
Can guess what MIL told people when they ask you certain things at gatherings -
auntieM:
Auntie M, you made my day! :celebrate:kuzco,
Bo pian (no choice) one lah.. ...just have to live with it lor..
Can guess what MIL told people when they ask you certain things at gatherings
It's so true about MIL as well! :roll: -
My relationship with my mil has turned sour after she played me out twice on helping to take care of my bb. I have chosen to stay far away from my work place and parent becos mil has promised to take care of future grandchildren. Who knows just 2 weeks before I finished my maternity leave, she said cannot help to take care of bb. I searched desperately all the CCC ard my area and only managed to find one 30 mins bus ride from my house. Mil has given me and DH so much problem due to her last minute decision and fickleness. When she tried the third time, my DH was the first to reject his mum "kind" offer to take care of bb. DH doesn’t want to take the risk of redrawing bb out from CCC and lost the place if his mum played him out again. Mil got so angry and said it is easier to take care of other pple bb! I was :!: as she has only tried taking care of BB for a few days and haven’t tried the nite care.
My DH is the only son with 2 still single sisters. I cannot imagine staying with such a selfish mil who don’t mind putting her first 3 mth old grandchild in CCC. In additional, we don’t have car so poor bb has to take bus every day. BB leave home every morning ard 7 am and reached home after 7.15 pm. My DH know that I’m still angry with his mum :x -
Keeping QUIET is the best way to deal/handle MIL…this way, they have nothing to find fault unless they are trouble makers.
Mrs Ang,
If your hubby knows what you’re going through, then he is on your side.
That is most important. Mine acts so innocent and angelic in front of her sons…so these precious sons never understand what their wives are going through with their mummy dearest. :x You can talk until the cows return and yet they won’t understand. -
Mrs Ang:
Maybe you should consider moving closer to your parents if they're willing to take care of your baby. 7-7 seems too long hours for the baby to be away from home.My relationship with my mil has turned sour after she played me out twice on helping to take care of my bb. I have chosen to stay far away from my work place and parent becos mil has promised to take care of future grandchildren. Who knows just 2 weeks before I finished my maternity leave, she said cannot help to take care of bb. I searched desperately all the CCC ard my area and only managed to find one 30 mins bus ride from my house. Mil has given me and DH so much problem due to her last minute decision and fickleness. When she tried the third time, my DH was the first to reject his mum \"kind\" offer to take care of bb. DH doesn't want to take the risk of redrawing bb out from CCC and lost the place if his mum played him out again. Mil got so angry and said it is easier to take care of other pple bb! I was :!: as she has only tried taking care of BB for a few days and haven't tried the nite care.
My DH is the only son with 2 still single sisters. I cannot imagine staying with such a selfish mil who don't mind putting her first 3 mth old grandchild in CCC. In additional, we don't have car so poor bb has to take bus every day. BB leave home every morning ard 7 am and reached home after 7.15 pm. My DH know that I'm still angry with his mum :x
MILs are usually not as willing as our own parents in terms of offering help to take care of our babies. They think it's our responsibility and if they do offer help it'll be doing us a favour
. My MIL is a typical example. She is strong enough to travel and too weak to take care of my kids :x. On the other hand, our own parents, who really care about us, will do anything to lighten our burdens :love:
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Mrs Ang:
Hey Mrs Ang,My relationship with my mil has turned sour after she played me out twice on helping to take care of my bb. I have chosen to stay far away from my work place and parent becos mil has promised to take care of future grandchildren. Who knows just 2 weeks before I finished my maternity leave, she said cannot help to take care of bb. I searched desperately all the CCC ard my area and only managed to find one 30 mins bus ride from my house. Mil has given me and DH so much problem due to her last minute decision and fickleness. When she tried the third time, my DH was the first to reject his mum \"kind\" offer to take care of bb. DH doesn't want to take the risk of redrawing bb out from CCC and lost the place if his mum played him out again. Mil got so angry and said it is easier to take care of other pple bb! I was :!: as she has only tried taking care of BB for a few days and haven't tried the nite care.
I would be mighty :x if I were you too. But then, since you know her pattern, AND your hubby is aware of her broken promises, best thing for you is to act :imanangel:. Worst thing is to vent out your unhappiness on your DH.
If your parents are available and willing to take care, then consider to move closer to them - else childcare is the next best option. If stars are in alignment, perhaps a childcare closer to your workplace?
Honestly, looking after children is no joke. But I don't think one (ie parents/IL) should 'sign blank cheque' on this matter also. I had also heard of new grandmas happily volunteering, only to 'da tui tang gu' when they realise how hard it is. -
Looking after young kids isn’t easy…ILs usually want to PLAY with them and return to you after that. My parents helped me with my 2 kids these past 10 years & I’m truly grateful and appreciate it.
Hubby & his siblings were brought up eating economy rice from downstairs bcos their mother prefers to have her kitchen spanking clean, and her hair nicely set. She is the ‘hi-and-bye’ sort of grandmother. -
janet_lee88:
Some not even interested in their grandkids except for Kodak moments.. ..Looking after young kids isn't easy...ILs usually want to PLAY with them and return to you after that. My parents helped me with my 2 kids these past 10 years & I'm truly grateful and appreciate it.
Hubby & his siblings were brought up eating economy rice from downstairs bcos their mother prefers to have her kitchen spanking clean, and her hair nicely set. She is the 'hi-and-bye' sort of grandmother.
Look after :shock: .. some dun even look long enough to recognise the kiddo faces..
For those that have nice and helpful PILs.. ..very lucky indeed
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auntieM:
If interested in Kodak moments also good enough lah, my MIL not interested at all. Even DH give up on his own mother.
Some not even interested in their grandkids except for Kodak moments.. ..
Look after :shock: .. some dun even look long enough to recognise the kiddo faces..
For those that have nice and helpful PILs.. ..very lucky indeed
Talking about PIL, anyone else having this kind of problem with PIL? My FIL having financial difficulties as he is not working as is still paying the HDB loan cash every month. Recently, he was diagnosed with severe depression with bouts of scizophrenia. So when DH offered FIL for the hundredth time to stay with us and rent out his house, FIL finally agreed. But the problem is, My SIL & Family is blaming us for the position they are in. They have been living off my FIL for free the past few years since he was retrenched and now blames DH for not contributing financially to the family. They also blame DH for forcing them to look for their own house. :roll:
In the 1st place, we have been telling them this idea since my FIL first got retrenched(5-8 years oredi hor!) till today. We have been very clear on our stand from day One. The relationship with SILs have gone sour but we are still pretending for now. DH is preparing himself for a showdown soon to force them to get their own house soon because he doesn't want FIL to get more depressed. Plus, we have had enough of being blamed for not helping financially. They have no responsibilities but themselves and baby, live there but my PIL still have to pay for their own food and stuff.
Any advice on how we can handle this better?
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