In-law problems?

[Funz]

My PILs like to drop by unannounced too. Not only on weekends but on weekday evenings as well. There were times when I had to run into the room to get decent b4 greeting them but that also resulted in some snide remarks from MIL saying why I not happy that they are there issit, that’s why I never greet them at the door. Alamak, meet you and your husband at the door with my headlights shining issit.


Sometimes FIL will call saying they coming over in the afternoon. So we stay home instead of going out. But they never turn up and if we call they will say yah coming soon coming soon. Then by evening still not here, we call again and they will say not coming oredi, and push the blame to either party.

I don’t mind them wanting to come over but not like that lah. If you say you wanna come then make sure you turn up. And don’t come unannounced and then if we not home they will call DH and say things like haiyah wasted trip, or where are you nearby or not, expecting us to rush home or wanting to meet us wherever we are.

[Angelight]

I guess it’s also fated whether your MIL likes you or not. I’m a uni graduate, can cook and do housework, and now even sacrifice my career to be a SAHM, yet MIL still not satisfied with me. The other DIL (whom she favours) cannot cook or do house chores and chose to go back to work after her delivery, MIL was very happy to look after her kids for her.


I now know that no matter what I did or did not do, she will never be satisfied with me. She will always have something to pick on me. I’ve learnt to accept this fate…and learn not to let her affect me too much. It’s not easy becos we meet at her place a few times a week for dinner (it’s her order), but I’m trying not to let her affect me so much emotionally. I just focus on loving DH and DD…

[Mrs Ang]

hquek:

Hey Mrs Ang,

I would be mighty :x if I were you too. But then, since you know her pattern, AND your hubby is aware of her broken promises, best thing for you is to act :imanangel:. Worst thing is to vent out your unhappiness on your DH.

If your parents are available and willing to take care, then consider to move closer to them - else childcare is the next best option. If stars are in alignment, perhaps a childcare closer to your workplace?

Honestly, looking after children is no joke. But I don't think one (ie parents/IL) should 'sign blank cheque' on this matter also. I had also heard of new grandmas happily volunteering, only to 'da tui tang gu' when they realise how hard it is.

I was :x and pass it on my DH. Cannot control it. I still feel like slapping mil face when I saw her yesterday. I'm working in Tuas so there are no CCC ard/near my workplace. I can only sell my house 2 years later due to the HDB regulation. My mum has been taking care of my 2 nieces since year 2000 so she will prefer no more kids. If really no choice, she will still help....your own mother is still the best :love:

[DesertWind]

mumma_bear:

I've been very lucky for having supportive ILs..I can even call them for advices if we have marital problems at times.

:congrats: mamabear! Happy for you!
I have learnt not to share our \"problems\" with my MIL. First time she asked with concern and I shared. After that found that she will not side me will side hubby. Or else I think she is \"laughing\" at me for not having it good. My MIL is very \"HOR MIA\", FIL loves and tolerates her, son loves her, tolerates her and cooks her fabulous mother's day dinner. She has such a blessed life she will not understand other people's problematic life. But I believe she genuinely cares for us when she ask us whether everything is OK? But I have learnt not to share, anything we resolve ourselves!
:celebrate:

[hquek]

Funz:

My PILs like to drop by unannounced too. Not only on weekends but on weekday evenings as well. There were times when I had to run into the room to get decent b4 greeting them but that also resulted in some snide remarks from MIL saying why I not happy that they are there issit, that's why I never greet them at the door. Alamak, meet you and your husband at the door with my headlights shining issit.


Sometimes FIL will call saying they coming over in the afternoon. So we stay home instead of going out. But they never turn up and if we call they will say yah coming soon coming soon. Then by evening still not here, we call again and they will say not coming oredi, and push the blame to either party.

I don't mind them wanting to come over but not like that lah. If you say you wanna come then make sure you turn up. And don't come unannounced and then if we not home they will call DH and say things like haiyah wasted trip, or where are you nearby or not, expecting us to rush home or wanting to meet us wherever we are.

Sigh...although it's their son's house, it's very bad to drop in unannounced. I was laughing imagining you high beaming them with your headlights.... :!: :!: pai si!

[hquek]

Mrs Ang:

I was :x and pass it on my DH. Cannot control it. I still feel like slapping mil face when I saw her yesterday. I'm working in Tuas so there are no CCC ard/near my workplace. I can only sell my house 2 years later due to the HDB regulation. My mum has been taking care of my 2 nieces since year 2000 so she will prefer no more kids. If really no choice, she will still help....your own mother is still the best :love:

2 years will pass in a flash lah. Yup, mummy is still the best.

I was supposed to engage a babysitter for DS1, she is a very good friend of my mum. But she pulled out few months before DS1 was due. So thanks to mum who stepped in to take care of DS1 and 2. In return, I engage maid to help her with the household chores so she won't be so taxed.

Till today, very grateful for what she has done for my kids. Perhaps no enrichment at home, perhaps they wait a bit too much tv for my liking. But then, knowing that they are under the care of someone who loves them and will watch out for them is enough.

[DesertWind]

Angelight:

I guess it's also fated whether your MIL likes you or not. I'm a uni graduate, can cook and do housework, and now even sacrifice my career to be a SAHM, yet MIL still not satisfied with me. The other DIL (whom she favours) cannot cook or do house chores and chose to go back to work after her delivery, MIL was very happy to look after her kids for her. .

Hi Angelight,
Izzit because your MIL think you should work so as not to \"burden\" your DH financially? Anyway of finding out what's :idea: with her? Why so biased/prejudiced? Does other DIL have any clue? Sorry not trying to be kaypoh but if you have an idea why she is so prejudiced maybe can work on it.....

:celebrate:

[Mrs Ang]

Talking about don't open door for mil.... :lol: I have done it once after our relationship turned sour.


Last time when mil has our hse key, she will appear w/o informing. When I managed to get my hse key back, I .

Mil came w/o calling again one day and I pretended I'm not around. I even closed my bb's room door as scared she will cry. She called my DH asking \"where is your wife and bb?\" Mil tried calling my hp too but I didn't ans. After this incident, she has learnt to call before coming over :celebrate:

DH didn't scold me as I told him that I'm scared I cannot control myself if hm alone with mil. Also, I don't want him to be in a difficult position when both of us tell him different stories of our argument.

[shine_fs]

Luvkid:

shine_fs:

Closed all the door/windows and ask the kids to do thing w/o noise.... :evil:

no no for me, this is too obvious, DH will be :rant: at me.
[quote]My MIL told me she will not open the door when her MIL knock on her door. And I saw it once, my MIL did it infront of me

Wow this really :!: & :faint:
p/s: Yr MIL's MIL is still around? U must be pretty young huh?

[quote]In my heart, I say...I will do it to you too.... [/quote]
followed her GOOD example..... :rotflmao:[/quote]If you can't closed door/windows then you must bet your MIL. Go out as early as possible..... :lol:

My MIL's MIL is around 86 this year. Young.... :evil: guess my age lor....
:idea:

[Luvkid]

shine_fs:

If you can't closed door/windows then you must bet your MIL. Go out as early as possible..... :lol:

On saturday & sunday can, but not on weekdays......

shine_fs:

My MIL's MIL is around 86 this year. Young.... guess my age lor....

Yr MIL's MIL considered long lived age, erm........your age huh? :?: Pai seh, went to your profile to peek, it is mid 30s :roll: