All about Cancer

[janet88]

starlight1968sg:

Janet

I agree with u.
We know we hv to be positive and forward looking etc. In reality, it is so hard to practise esp if our loved ones are suffering

no parent can ever be positive because they see their kids suffering and can't do anything.

[hercules]

I have a close friend also gonna die of cancer. He is close to 60 yo, single, and used to be a successful person in the arts and fashion scene (he designed my wedding gown).


After making ‘enough’ for retirement, he started to enjoy life by slowing down and travelling more. Then he was told of a brain tumour. To his family’s dismay, he didnt get any pte shield cover for himself and was therefore treated in public hospital. Not so happy with ‘public’ services, he went to pte surgeons. From there, he depleted most of his liquid ‘retirement fund’ and had to return to public hospital for treatments. Now his 80+ old aged parents are supporting and caring for him.

Doc said he has about 6 months to live (and now 3 months had passed). His current liquid fund probably can last him for another 12 months. He told me he will sell his apartment if he still needs to ‘drag on’ with his illness (as afterall, the apartment after he passes on will be for the benefits of his parents / siblings).

Not much fear in him actually except his regret of not having bought the pte shield (when younger, he thought he would not need such services). He shared that he had lived his life meaningfully (he loves his job) and just too bad that he could not get to enjoy the fruits of his labour. I can see courage in him in preparing for his last moments and I feel ‘happy’ for him for being wise (to accept things that cant be changed rationally instead of emotionally that may further break his old parents’ hearts).

Well, that’s life with many curve balls…

[starlight1968sg]

Hercules

Isnt this is common for many ie worked hard for many years, then want to slow down to enjoy life. and found to have a life-threatening disease?

[hercules]

starlight1968sg:

Hercules

Isnt this is common for many ie worked hard for many years, then want to slow down to enjoy life. and found to have a life-threatening disease?

I think there is a difference between whether one has worked in a job that he is passionate about or in a job that he is indifferent or dislikes if he has to face 'earlier departure'.

My this friend has more of a 死而无憾 attitude think coz he managed to live a life that he wanted from young.

Life to me is never about 'quantity' but more on 'quality'. Its ok to be shorter but must be meaningful to self (never mind about how others looking at it coz it's own life). Coz my mentality is similar to his, so we can 'gossip' about death openly instead of keep harping on the eventuality and 'waste time'.

[ngl2010]

I have a relative who passed away from brain cancer at age 31. When the cancer progressed, she became disabled and blind. This is on top of the extreme pain in her head. I think it is better for her to pass away than to endure all the pains. But the one thing that I was (and still am) angry is that her husband remarried 4 months after her demise. Can’t even wait until a year later! :mad:

[hercules]

ngl2010:

But the one thing that I was (and still am) angry is that her husband remarried 4 months after her demise. Can’t even wait until a year later! :mad:

I have two close friends (one male and one female) re-married within 12 months after their respective spouse passed on around 40 yo (both also cancer). Both families each has kids aged from 6 years - 12 years.

My both friends inherited millions of insurance dollars and other assets, remarried, shifted to bigger houses, and lived happily ever after so far (both have new borns within a year after re-married).

I am looking at the re-marriages from a more positive light (esp when compared to those who go into depression for a long long time after they lose their spouses / children (I have another friend who never seems to get over losing her husband in a traffic accident when her kids were young and her kids don't seem to be able to grow more 'naturally' as they have to continuously pay attention to their mum's swinging moods, constantly worry about whether their mum will suicide etc. One of her sons grow to be a super 宅男 with very good academic results but minimal social time coz he wants to 'jaga' his mum according to his other siblings.)

Life's lemons - depending on what one wants to make with those lemons.

[MrsKiasu]

Dont think I will want the living spouse to live in depression but to remarry within 4 mths or even within 1 year, isn't that too hurry :sad:

[starlight1968sg]

ngl2010:

I have a relative who passed away from brain cancer at age 31. When the cancer progressed, she became disabled and blind. This is on top of the extreme pain in her head. I think it is better for her to pass away than to endure all the pains. But the one thing that I was (and still am) angry is that her husband remarried 4 months after her demise. Can’t even wait until a year later! :mad:

What is the purpose of life?

[MrsKiasu]

The more we got to feel thankful, having the opportunity to see the sunrise…

[ngl2010]

I encourage DH to remarry if I pass away earlier than him. I have even told DS to support his father to remarry if I die first. But I have a condition. DH can only remarry after I pass away at least 1 year. I feel if he remarries within 1 year, it means he doesn’t love me enough and/or I am insignificant to him and/or he does not respect me enough to even wait for 1 year (I am not even asking him to wait for too long. Isn’t 1 year reasonable?) and/or he can’t wait to get rid of me. An unembalmed adult normally takes eight to twelve years to decompose to a skeleton. I am only asking for 1 year. Is it too much to wait for 1 year?


Anyway, each person has its own opinion and value. To each his own.