Me Time!
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jedamum\" post_id=\"1950773\" time=\"1575106387\" user_id=\"159:
I agree with this. And the age when they are able to do this reliably varies from child to child. It's best to be watchful earlier until you have confidence in your child's judgement. But it also means parents need to be open to listen to the child's stories or they will simply hide what they are doing, and you have no means to assess how good their judgement is.
...But mainly, they need to be able to do their own character judgement and be a brave whistle blower... -
slmkhoo\" post_id=\"1950706\" time=\"1575078649\" user_id=\"28674:
slmkhoo, thanks for the advice.. happened also dd1's first play date was about same like yours..we were able to sat in, stay & chat to know the family members, wait for all friends to be there before we went off..now thinking back, the parents were so thoughtful..
You should draw up a set of rules and principles for going to people's homes. For my kids, I only allowed it if I knew the parents and felt they were generally trustworthy. For a first time, I might even go with my child and stay for a while first. For things like parties and group gatherings, I would be less strict, but would tell my kids to make sure they arrived and left with others, so they were not the only one there.MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1950522\" time=\"1575000853\" user_id=\"43981:
I been thinking about dd taking public trpt recently as dd kept wanting to do that..so hearing dh thinking same, I m happy actually. I know it is good to let kids be independent in this area but personally I feel I would like to delay as much as possible for dd to have more open contact with her surroundings and outside ppl. Actually, I been quite reluctant to let her go friends house alone but somehow felt difficult to say no as the mom asked me and dd kept saying I want I want..but I told dd next year onwards I would be be stricter in this aspect liao.. I don't want it to turn to habit or think it as something very light issue..yeah for younger one, I refused few times for just dropping kiddo for playdates..I know I may be seen as anti social and gal's circle of friends sure affected but I just feel that I should do that. I told them to spend as much time with each other first..to me, building up a stronger relationship between siblings and us as a closer family unit are more important..strengthen this first before others...I think I m towards the extreme side yeah..
For project work etc, I would tell them to meet in school. I discouraged meeting at fast food places etc, but sometimes it can't be helped if everyone else insisted. But this was when they were at least upper sec and older. And they can \"meet\" online easily now, so not much excuse that they must meet at someone's house.
Public transport - again, have rules. It makes it much easier to deal with kids if you have clear rules. My kids were allowed free reign on public transport during the day, but that didn't mean they didn't have to seek permission first (when younger) or keep me informed (even after they were in JC). When going to unfamiliar places, they would have to text me when they arrived, and when they left. We had restrictions on being out at night. Breaking rules meant grounding.
so far the project works, they were done through phone calls, emails, meetings after cca/supp class and each got a section to do with WhatsApp as communication tool which I find, very good. Just hope with the teammates for future proj, they able do the same too.
why I worry abt dd leh, coz few times she will do own cooking when I attend some lessons outside even though I already prepared food for them. sometimes she says she just wants to make something for me even though I told her not to..so just worry she wont listen and may just go out when feel like it esp they will have some opportunities to do so next yr due to some of my commitments. So I m thinking, don't know how to do it maybe a better prevention..till I m more comfortable with it. -
slmkhoo\" post_id=\"1950845\" time=\"1575157303\" user_id=\"28674:
I have no confidence yet..
I agree with this. And the age when they are able to do this reliably varies from child to child. It's best to be watchful earlier until you have confidence in your child's judgement. But it also means parents need to be open to listen to the child's stories or they will simply hide what they are doing, and you have no means to assess how good their judgement is.jedamum\" post_id=\"1950773\" time=\"1575106387\" user_id=\"159:
...But mainly, they need to be able to do their own character judgement and be a brave whistle blower...
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MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1950868\" time=\"1575169306\" user_id=\"43981:
MKS, your daughter's IP Secondary school is All-girls school, not so bad bec at least, is the same gender
so far the project works, they were done through phone calls, emails, meetings after cca/supp class and each got a section to do with WhatsApp as communication tool which I find, very good. Just hope with the teammates for future proj, they able do the same too.
for those who joined co-ed IP school, will be worrying if inside the same project team, got mixed gender and if really got to meet up somewhere, where to go ? can't be going to the boy's house ? at the same time, the boy's parents also don't want their son to go to a girl's classmate house. laughingcat, Esteema kids are All Boys school, not so bad
so i wonder students from co-ed IP schools like (NJC, TJC, River Valley High, Dunman High, etc), where do they meet up for group discussion meeting, if cannot meet inside school compound ? -
phtthp\" post_id=\"1950964\" time=\"1575214625\" user_id=\"35251:
Girls must learn to protect themselves. Boys must be taught what are the do’s and don’ts. My guess is, the chance of a student from co-Ed school to be attached is higher than that for a student from single-Ed school?
MKS, your daughter's IP Secondary school is All-girls school, not so bad bec at least, is the same genderMrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1950868\" time=\"1575169306\" user_id=\"43981:
so far the project works, they were done through phone calls, emails, meetings after cca/supp class and each got a section to do with WhatsApp as communication tool which I find, very good. Just hope with the teammates for future proj, they able do the same too.
for those who joined co-ed IP school, will be worrying if inside the same project team, got mixed gender and if really got to meet up somewhere, where to go ? can't be going to the boy's house ? at the same time, the boy's parents also don't want their son to go to a girl's classmate house. So far, laughingcat, Esteema kids are All Boys school, not so bad
so i wonder students from co-ed IP schools like (NJC, TJC, River Valley High, Dunman High, etc), where do they meet up for group discussion meeting, if cannot meet inside school compound ?
DH shared after attending a social gathering where most attendees were from Hwa Chong and are now HCI parents, hearsay that some HCI parents are trying hard to matchmake their sons with NYGH girls by “organizing social events” for the boys and girls from both schools.
Ok on one hand, we do not want our children to be involved in BGR too early, on the other hand, we also do not wish to see our kids being left on the shelves... Being a parent is not easy. -
Girls school also hv to guide our kids. My gff daughter was always low self-esteem & feeling unable to be accepted by peers nor get herself popular enuf to be accepted or selected to be in some teams. She does hv image problem bcoz of her size. Little did my gff realize she ended up having her girl incline to stick to one peer & ended up like the other - both took on a man-woman identity.
Guess we’ve to keep our eyes, ears & heart in tune with our girls. Care for their 1st year adjustments in the new sec sch, care for their project needs (but do not over care & let them start making their own choices/perceived their choices after yr input), help yr girl to build good relationships (this my BIL taught me as he was very involved in encouraging his girls to bring her friends over whenever he hv some freebie leftovers fr his dental conferences & chat with his girls’ peers). This way, he gets to know the diff characters who are his girls’ pals & what they like or do apart fr Studies/projects.
I don’t hv dental freebies, but I bake rather awesome fondant cakes & offer doing their bday cakes or their figurines toppers.
Do sth small to help yr girl lor. Once u see sth positive going, step back quickly & let yr girl take ownership. See her coming back to you to say how she’s enjoying some attention when she offer ideas for her projects or which peer working in syn with her, etc. Help her seed the relationship but let her nurture her workmates for serious work once things take off. Reason why don’t overdo coz teens do not like us meddling, want to be seen they’re capable to alr frds & awesome in some abilities of their own (not borrowed fr mama).
Also, offer to send them for movies or drive them to some place they need to get their materials for projects, … but not join them for movie (giving them space & chance to develop bonding w/o dome adults ard, ooops!), etc -
Another challenge is,
your IP project group team mates may be staying in Woodlands, Sembawang, Yishun, Sengkang, Hougang, Pasir Ris, Bedok, Jurong, Clementi, various part of Sg : not easy to meet up -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"1950966\" time=\"1575216582\" user_id=\"17023:
Girls must learn to protect themselves. Boys must be taught what are the do’s and don’ts. My guess is, the chance of a student from co-Ed school to be attached is higher than that for a student from single-Ed school?
MKS, your daughter's IP Secondary school is All-girls school, not so bad bec at least, is the same genderphtthp\" post_id=\"1950964\" time=\"1575214625\" user_id=\"35251:
[quote=MrsKiasu post_id=1950868 time=1575169306 user_id=43981]
so far the project works, they were done through phone calls, emails, meetings after cca/supp class and each got a section to do with WhatsApp as communication tool which I find, very good. Just hope with the teammates for future proj, they able do the same too.
for those who joined co-ed IP school, will be worrying if inside the same project team, got mixed gender and if really got to meet up somewhere, where to go ? can't be going to the boy's house ? at the same time, the boy's parents also don't want their son to go to a girl's classmate house. So far, laughingcat, Esteema kids are All Boys school, not so bad
so i wonder students from co-ed IP schools like (NJC, TJC, River Valley High, Dunman High, etc), where do they meet up for group discussion meeting, if cannot meet inside school compound ?
DH shared after attending a social gathering where most attendees were from Hwa Chong and are now HCI parents, hearsay that some HCI parents are trying hard to matchmake their sons with NYGH girls by “organizing social events” for the boys and girls from both schools.
Ok on one hand, we do not want our children to be involved in BGR too early, on the other hand, we also do not wish to see our kids being left on the shelves... Being a parent is not easy.[/quote]If parents know each other, I find not a bad idea to chope..maybe after secondary level better? -
phtthp\" post_id=\"1950972\" time=\"1575217709\" user_id=\"35251:
meet up in school the best to me, maybe after school?
Another challenge is,
your IP project group team mates may be staying in Woodlands, Sembawang, Yishun, Sengkang, Hougang, Pasir Ris, Bedok, Jurong, Clementi, various part of Sg : not easy to meet up -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1950986\" time=\"1575240830\" user_id=\"43981:
That's why \"meeting\" online is a good way if they can't meet in school. My daughters have had many project meetings that way.
meet up in school the best to me, maybe after school?phtthp\" post_id=\"1950972\" time=\"1575217709\" user_id=\"35251:
Another challenge is,
your IP project group team mates may be staying in Woodlands, Sembawang, Yishun, Sengkang, Hougang, Pasir Ris, Bedok, Jurong, Clementi, various part of Sg : not easy to meet up
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