Kid's Social Life : Can Schools Interfere?

[mrswongtuition]

As a teacher, I do remind them not to use such words.

However, not to the extend of screaming at them or forcing them to change their comments.

If the comments are too offensive, e.g. Insult teacher or school staff or fellow schoolmate, I will notify the discipline master & let him deal with it.

We are not controlling your social lives. We just do not want you to get in trouble. I have a few students whose parents have gone to lodge police cases on FB comments about their kids before.

[ChiefKiasu]

MOE_Hater, you sound like a well-read and mature individual. I’m assuming you are in Secondary school, because you don’t write like an ordinary Primary school child.


And because you are a mature enough to feel that you and your classmates should be accorded the rights of adults to privacy and freedom of expression, I shall treat you as an adult then.

The pre-requisite to freedom of speech is responsibility. You are free to speak as long as you will stand by what you say, accepting whatever consequences that might bring.

If you choose this freedom to express yourself in ways which you feel are appropriate to yourself, you are certainly welcome to that behavior. It is your freedom, afterall, and you are responsible only to yourself.

However, if in the course of your expressing yourself freely, you associate yourself to an organisation, be it a school or a company, then you are effectively representing that organisation and whatever you say or do will be seen as coming from the organisation. You will no longer be responsible just to yourself, but also for the school. In such a case, the organisation has every right to come after you, either to disassociate itself from you (ie. dismiss or expel you), or to get you to correct and project the public image that it wants to cultivate.

It has nothing to do with what your parents think about your behavior and actions. It has everything to do with you tarnishing the school’s image.

So, if you think you want to have the complete freedom to say what you want on the Internet or elsewhere, do it, but do not infringe on anyone else’s freedom to protect their own image.

[mintcc]

quite frankly, I feel respect for your teacher after reading your post. She could have taken the easy way out to just inform your parents or let the discipline mistress handle a tough situation.


Instead she make you people correct the wrong. I don't see it as the teacher controlling your accounts. You guys have a choice. She gave you a last chance to correct it or report the matter to the discipline mistress. Guess you guys don't want the discipline mistress to know either.

I think she did the right thing as an educator. Hopefully, if my son is in a similar situation, he will meet a teacher who will go that extra mile as well.

[schweppes]

mintcc:

quite frankly, I feel respect for your teacher after reading your post.

I fully agree. I :salute: the teacher for going the extra mile in lecturing the students.

mintcc:

She could have taken the easy way out to just inform your parents or let the discipline mistress handle a tough situation.

MOE Hater:

She personally went around and previewed everyone's account.

Personally, she could have taken the easier way out by ignoring what the students did and not do anything at all :roll: But she didn't and I respect her for that.

As an educator teaching in institutions of higher learning, I have come across some students who seem to have forgotten their place and think nothing of swearing in class. When I reprimand them and tell them that it is not good to swear, some would give me a defiant stare. The more remorseful students will apologise.

When youths use inappropriate words and actions all the time, they become desensitized to the word/action and after a while, they think that words like f**k and b***h becomes a \"socially\" acceptable norm, when it is clearly not acceptable. It is as if they use these words so often that the words bear little meaning to them. So, if this bad habit is not corrected when young, they carry it with them to young adulthood.

MOE Hater:

Everyone in my class felt it was unfair and outrageous. Their parents were perfectly fine with what they post and they felt the teacher had no right to control our accounts.

Hmmm...really? I am not sure if the parents are \"perfectly fine\" with such language as opposed to that they are not aware that such offensive language is being used by their children.

MOE Hater:

They are paid simply to teach us during school hours and have no right to control our social life.

How I wish this is true. Life would be so much easier for teachers if we just work and \"teach during school hours\". There'll be no reports of overworked teachers then. The good teacher doesn't just teach during school hours. The better teacher does all that and more. And the great teacher makes all the positive difference.

:celebrate:

[mrswongtuition]

Reading MOE_Hater's comments and fellow parent's comments, reminds me of how hard it is to be a teacher.


On one hand, we also want to be the children's 'friend', someone they can open up to when they need help.

On the other hand, we want to discipline them to prevent them from going the wrong way.

And, we are still answerable to parents!

How?
Be fierce and scream out heads off?
Be nice and pretend we know nothing?

Different schools have different approaches and the school I'm with now encouraged teachers to remind students gently first. Encourage them to stop. If they are not remorseful or apologetic, then refer to Discipline Master who will sit with them to counsel them. We are not encouraged to use 'curriculum time' to reprimand students as many parents have complained that we 'only scold and not teach'.

Discipline Master is not like our time, holding cane and waiting to use it. Now, they hold care & concern and want to help the child learn through reasoning, 'modern discipline'.


MOE_hater, based on your post, I gather that the anger was further fuelled by the fact that the class just came back from a tired session during PE. When I'm tired, I get very touchy & will be pissed by the slightest thing, quite normal.
When I was your age, I hated my teachers too. I felt oppressed by their 'old thinking'. That's why I vowed to be a 'modern teacher'.
Don't think about this issue first. Have a great rest first. Rest well, then cool down, revisit this issue again when you are calm.

I always tell my students that vulgarities are not meant to be abused. If you are really angry, go get a piece of paper to cut up or go take a cold shower to cool down. Don't type, write or say anything in anger because it will make you look very ugly. Some of them grew up in an environment where vulgarities punctuate every sentence but they managed to change.

I went through a similar phase and my dad got me to write down all the vulgarities on a piece of paper and cut it up. It felt good & when I calmed down, I was able to think clearly and tried not to use vulgarities anymore.
It's part of growing up. If you are wise enough to come here to gather responses, you are wise enough to know what's wrong and right. Do the right thing make yourself proud of your own actions.


Parents, while you appreciate the teacher being concerned (so rare to see parents openly appreciating teachers!), maybe you can also post some suggestions on how you would want the teachers to educate your kids? Then fellow educators also have good idea on how to 'adjust our methods'

[MOE Hater]

When I read all these replies, I can most of you feel what the teacher did is right as it shows she really cares for us and that is a point - a VERY GOOD one.


Firstly, I was not in my best form when i started this topic, but now with a renewed mindset i want to look at things from a different angle.

I think first and foremost i have to straighten out some facts. I specificly mentioned that she reprimand the 2 boys for use the words f**k and b***h rampantly. It was brought up on every sentenced they typed and every comment they posted. on that even i feel they deserved to be reprimanded for such disgusting behaviour. however others did use it but like once in a blue moon and at times when they were mad or referring to popular songs with that word in the title, i mean come on there are many songs like that these days. For example, a friend of mine put her status as big booty b***hes and you should have seen the teacher's reaction. if the words are scarsely mentioned and when they were used they were not targeted to hurt a specific person then i think teachers should loosen up and give us a little freedom.

I also think that teachers should not be so uptight about us using shit. Even the most civilised people use from time to time. Dammit was the word of the teachers time and shit is no worse. its shorter and actually saves energy :lol: social networking sites are places we tend to vent our feelings and as long it is not offending what is wrong in that? (After all, in P6 you feel the heat)

I guess i have given enough food for thought. Look forward to reading more replies.

P.S. I mentioned that my classmates were outraged not me. I hate social networking sites and find it a bore so i don't have facebook. this teacher i am talking about is a really nice, friendly and caring techaer and she has taught me since P5. i do have a lot of respect for her but i don't know whether what she did is acceptable. she can be unreasonable at times

P.P.S. At least com lab was air conditioned. heavenly after P.E. :lol:

[hquek]

Coming from a parent with young kids, I feel I cannot stop my kids from being exposed to, or using swear words. But I would encourage them to think seriously the difference between saying and putting it in print.


When you are alone, or in a private room, shouting such may not matter. But when you put it in print, it’s a reflection of yourself - and like what Chief say, you are an extension of the school. For instance, if many of the kids in a school swear and put in profanities online, and are defiant to authority for no reason, I seriously doubt many people will look favourably at EVERYONE from that particular school.

When I was in JC, there was a teacher who couldn’t assert herself and was constantly heckled during lectures. I felt pity for the teacher, and only disgust at those boys. So what if those are the top brains of the nation…in my mind, if those who could not behave and who could not even show some support to someone valiantly trying to do her job, they are no better than cockroaches.

Understand that swearing and using profanities may make one feel grownup (I went through that phase also), but since then, I have also learnt that it’s just not socially acceptable and in fact is a super big putoff. It’s ok to vent, just that the venue needs be appropriate.

At first I thought the nick MOE_Hater would be someone who’s just one track minded…am happy to say that I am sooo wrong.

And to all the teachers (esp that teacher mentioned by MOE_Hater), I salute to you all and cannot give enough thanks that you are still actively serving the nation. DH and I are those type of parents who will pass a cane to the teacher to use - but then I also want to know when that happens (so I can go back and cane one more time). Not all parents blindly side with their kids…at least not in my household.

[RRMummy]

insider:

I assume the students mentioned in the case are around their teens.

MOE Hater:

social networking sites are places we tend to vent our feelings and as long it is not offending what is wrong in that? (After all, in P6 you feel the heat)

Err... it seems that they are in P6??

[MOE Hater]

RRMummy:

insider:

I assume the students mentioned in the case are around their teens.

MOE Hater:

social networking sites are places we tend to vent our feelings and as long it is not offending what is wrong in that? (After all, in P6 you feel the heat)

Err... it seems that they are in P6??

So true. you're the first person to realise that i am in p6 not in sec school. You have eagle-eyed vision. I suppose it is the uncanny ability of mothers

[RRMummy]

MOE Hater:

RRMummy:

Err... it seems that they are in P6??

So true. you're the first person to realise that i am in p6 not in sec school. You have eagle-eyed vision. I suppose it is the uncanny ability of mothers

Hi MOE Hater, :lol: the eyes for details comes with practice..

You write very well and I guess that's why some of us thought that you are in sec school. I hope that you will manage to channel away your frustration towards your teachers. After all, there is only a couple of months to go and you will have to leave them to pursue your next chapter.

You sound smart and I'm quite sure being here and seeing the comments from the parents who responded gives you the other perspective to the issue. Ponder on it. I'm sure you will see the light.

Good luck on your exams!! :celebrate: (beer change to coke, can?!)