In-law problems?
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hquek:
No worry.
well, different lah, it's not like IL property being disseminated to the kids. Sorie didn't see your earlier posts.Jennifer:
Just checking out public's sentiments.
Like I mentioned, we are likely to move back to IL's house. But the present layout does not hv rooms for my two kids (SILs' rooms are still theirs). I feel paiseh to ask them to 'surrender' their rooms.
IF SIL are no longer staying there, and have their own homes, and you guys are moving in to stay with IL long term, I don't see why they cannot clear their stuff and vacate room. Must you guys stay like refugees (4 pp to one room) when there are unused rooms lying around?
But this kind of thing better to ask your DH to ask his parents/sisters...it will be tough on YOU if there were any objections - blood thing lah.
Hubby also finds it hard to bring up. That's why we hv not said anything to his parents yet. If only hubby has enough money to buy a big place that can accommodate 6 pple comfortably. -
You mean neither your ILs or SIL realised that you guys need the \"spare\" rooms that are vacant? :roll:
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Jennifer:
Hubby also finds it hard to bring up. That's why we hv not said anything to his parents yet. If only hubby has enough money to buy a big place that can accommodate 6 pple comfortably.
You forgot to add, that has vacant rooms for SILs.
Maybe ask him to blur blur bring up to his parents...so where are the children's rooms...and see how it goes on from there. if SILs are happily ensconed in their own homes, I really don't see why need to keep that room aside - this not museum leh (or choy choy...shrine). -
mummy of 2:
You mean neither your ILs or SIL realised that you guys need the \"spare\" rooms that are vacant? :roll:
We are not staying with them now. We moved to our own place when #2 turned 2 plus. Both SILs were not married yet. In fact, they have so much things that I offered our wardrobe to house their clothings.
Though they married n have their own place, their old rooms are not vacant. Many possessions still around.
We have never spoken abt moving back n needing those rooms. Cant blame ILs or SILs
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Jennifer:
I used to share room with my sis, and after I married, I also lazy to clear out. But then my parents shifted, so reluctantly, I had to clear out my old stuff. Trust me, it's just laziness rather than any need for world domination. Speak to them nicely lah...I really don't see a problem. You guys not after inheritance, just making use of expensive real estate.
We are not staying with them now. We moved to our own place when #2 turned 2 plus. Both SILs were not married yet. In fact, they have so much things that I offered our wardrobe to house their clothings.
Though they married n have their own place, their old rooms are not vacant. Many possessions still around.
We have never spoken abt moving back n needing those rooms. Cant blame ILs or SILs
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hquek:
Huh? If hubby comes up with his own money, then no need to reserve rooms for his sisters right?You forgot to add, that has vacant rooms for SILs.
Maybe ask him to blur blur bring up to his parents...so where are the children's rooms...and see how it goes on from there. if SILs are happily ensconed in their own homes, I really don't see why need to keep that room aside - this not museum leh (or choy choy...shrine).
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Jennifer:
no lah, just suan the situation a bit lah.
Huh? If hubby comes up with his own money, then no need to reserve rooms for his sisters right?hquek:
You forgot to add, that has vacant rooms for SILs.
Maybe ask him to blur blur bring up to his parents...so where are the children's rooms...and see how it goes on from there. if SILs are happily ensconed in their own homes, I really don't see why need to keep that room aside - this not museum leh (or choy choy...shrine).
but I stand by the rest of my comments.
Good luck with the negotiations! -
I'm not close to ils & sil/bils. Only meet them on important events such as CNY and bday celebration. However, my dh & 2 ds visit il weekly if free but not me. This has been for 2 yrs already since an unhappy event happened.
Now ds2 is going for hospital stay (abt 2 nites) for small surgery procedures (tonsillectomy & gastroscopy). I'm considering not informing ils. Since we r not in touch and that few days will pass very quickly, they might not even find out if we don't inform.
Mil has hinted I'm to be blamed for the weak body of my 2 ds cos I do not have 'good health base' and cos didn't take enough tonic when I was pregnant. She also thinks that I don't know how to take care of ds due to lack of experience (she feels if she had looked after them, they would definitely not be sickly. She is always praising how strong her other granddaughter is as she had looked after her since birth till 10yo). She dismisses the fact that doctors suggested that ds allergy could be hereditary. Both my ds have nose allergies. All their grandsons have either nose/skin allergies but not their granddaughters. She hinted the same blame for my other sil whose ds also has skin allergy. She even suggested our houses r not clean so children have nose/skin allergies.
If we were to inform them, they'll express shock & concerns. Then come remarks such as 'why ended up like that?', 'pity boy has to suffer', etc. I also view their concerns as hypocrisy and as another way to insult me for my incompetency in childcaring. I can imagine them blowing up the hospital stay and telling relatives & neighbours around them, and take the chance to once again informing the whole world of my incompetency.
I may not be experienced in childcaring but I'm like all mothers, looking after my children with my heart and soul.
Considering the above, should we inform them or not? -
cascada,
I’not close to ILs too.
They prefer grandson (ie my son), but never do anything like finding out what he likes to eat or his interest. I think I mentioned this before, even when MIL asked what my son likes to eat, she said ‘so par pai’ :x (Cantonese for precious)…actually what he likes to eat is braised mushroom. As for my daughter, no need to ask.
After hubby’s eye operation in Feb and my unhappiness with her over it, I couldn’t be bothered anymore about them.
Jennifer,
If your SILs are married and moved out, there should be no need to reserve any rooms should your hubby buys a new house. 4 rooms just nice - you/hubby, in-laws, one room for your sons. -
janet_lee88,
my ils also like grandson, but only for the purpose of carrying on their surname. Mil is the old fashion thinking type, always worry my bil (her other son) doesn’t have a boy to ‘chuan zhong jie dai’ for him. But too bad, bil doesn’t like children so he decided to stop after having 2 girls. In fact, he wanted to stop at 1 but Mil persuaded his wife to try for a boy.
When comes to real concern and showering love, they prefer granddaughters. Fil likes little girls to ‘manja’ to him. Mil will treat granddaughters like princess, combing hair slowly to make hair plaits or different style with clips. She would keep a container of hair clips and bands. She would also make nice girlish pyjamas for them. Whenever she goes shopping, she would be looking at little girls clothes & accessories.
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