How much is enough for retirement in Singapore?

[Estéema]

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2059648\" time=\"1645592735\" user_id=\"3:

My goodness. Don't let me get started on it... or I'll rant to no end. Short version: I had 6 months warning, but the stupid young doctor of the hospital I went to claimed my headache was due to \"vertigo\" and sent me for some hearing tests before they decided it was something due to my brain and not my ears. 1 week before I saw their \"brain\" doctor... I had the stroke. Luckily my maid found me and called for the ambulance, which fortunately sent me to TTSH instead of the other stupid hospital.

I'm just thankful I had 6 months to \"prepare\" for that stroke. I started exercising by running regularly since I had the headache, and I think I won't be here chatting with you guys if I hadn't.

So, run for your lives! A run a day keeps the reaper at bay. Literally.

So you give big bonus to yr helper for saving I early enuf? 😂

[ChiefKiasu]

Sun_2010\" post_id=\"2059641\" time=\"1645591648\" user_id=\"18393:

...
Covid19 has meant we have cut down on our daily walks - he doesnt like to go out at all. But work from home has meant , I get to spend some time with in during the day, I can guidehim with his exercise class, his chanting.
...

Good sharing, Sun_2010. I hope you stay with your dad, as is, for a long time.

Actually, it's still ok to walk outside. Just wear a mask if you are worried. Walk for about 5km, which will take about an hour. If you do it very often, it doesn't matter how fast you walk as your overall distance travelled will be much more effective for your body.

Or invest in a treadmill. That's what's I've been doing. Put it in front of your TV and you won't even know you've been exercising

[sushi88]

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2059648\" time=\"1645592735\" user_id=\"3:

My goodness. Don't let me get started on it... or I'll rant to no end. Short version: I had 6 months warning, but the stupid young doctor of the hospital I went to claimed my headache was due to \"vertigo\" and sent me for some hearing tests before they decided it was something due to my brain and not my ears. 1 week before I saw their \"brain\" doctor... I had the stroke. Luckily my maid found me and called for the ambulance, which fortunately sent me to TTSH instead of the other stupid hospital.

I'm just thankful I had 6 months to \"prepare\" for that stroke. I started exercising by running regularly since I had the headache, and I think I won't be here chatting with you guys if I hadn't.

So, run for your lives! A run a day keeps the reaper at bay. Literally.

OMG! It sounds like a scary experience indeed! Really thank God for your maid because quick action is very important. I think TTSH really has a good reputation so far from all the various cases I know of. Seriously, I am glad that you are here chatting with us again. And yes, exercise is always important to ensure at least the basic healthy living. Keep going strong!

[ChiefKiasu]

Estéema\" post_id=\"2059652\" time=\"1645593095\" user_id=\"66413:

So you give big bonus to yr helper for saving I early enuf? 😂

Lol... I will be when she goes back to Indonesia.

[Estéema]

Sun_2010\" post_id=\"2059641\" time=\"1645591648\" user_id=\"18393:

This must be so hard on you. You are a good child, making the effort to connect.

Esteema, I cant imagine the sorrow and struggle you must have faced. Thanks for sharing.

My dad is in his early stages alzheimer's, I found it so hard to believe. He has been an emotional support, so for me to come to terms with this was very hard. Just 5-6 years back , I used to rely on him for some of my financial dealings. He had to nag me on my premiums, and other stuff. And today I have to take care of his finances.

Alzheimers is not just forgetfulness. One can say it is more of confusion, cloudy, being blur. Same thing that is confusing today , they may recall the next day with clarity.
I remember during our circuit breaker period, we would all do some exercise. Dad's job was to be the timer-- look at the clock and tell us how many seconds had passed at intervals. So when we ( the kids and I ) did planks , he was supposed to tell us the time. One day he was quite, I grunted - pa, is it not even 30s? he was silent. And then after a few seconds he asked -- S, how to tell time?
The man on whose lap I sat and learnt to tell time, suddenly forgot how an analogous clock worked.
Next day , it he was ok, he could remember it . He always has his watch on him. How terrifying it must be to realise you are forgetting the basic things. When he gets stressed , it gets worse.

My dad is very well read especially about health. He has been telling ( nagging) on what foods to eat for the past two decades. He has told me hip:waist ratio and omega 3 omega 6, alkaline food, even in the early 2000s when this was not so much in the media. He has even spoken to me about alzhemir's :sad: When the doctor told me he might have dementia, I refused to believe - Not my dad, no, no. The doctor mentioned that it is harder to find symptoms in intellectuals cause they would figure out a way to overcome/cover up their confusion. It often takes a trained person to find out.

What is hard to accept is that it will get worse. You can try very hard to engage him, keep him active, it might slow down the process if at all but it will keep getting worse. He gets quiter and quiter by the day. :gloomy:

Covid19 has meant we have cut down on our daily walks - he doesnt like to go out at all. But work from home has meant , I get to spend some time with in during the day, I can guidehim with his exercise class, his chanting.


When he cracks a silly joke and laughs, it fill my heart. When he comes and sits near me and asks me , \"what happened, you look worried?\" Only he can see thru me intuitively , not even my mum. I feel blessed to have him near me. It may not be for long, but right now I still need him.

Awww, got a bit emotional today ....

Sun,
I get emotional too, just reading yr loving relationship with yr dad.

I’m truly grateful in a way tt covid had put us back to spending closer & more meaningful time with our families. Our fast paced life tend to put relationships into superficial touch-and-go “how are you getting on” level. I’m warmed by yr special & close bonding with yr dad. It’s nice to S’times share our journey to affirm ourselves that’s life and it’s OK & normal to be emotional. At least better than to be in cold corporate life forgetting to love our family members abit more & stop to hug & laugh with each other.

My brother had Alzheimer and SIL had to spend long hours feeding & chatting with him. She had taken the feeding personally coz it’s not easy for bro to swallow & theres a real danger of him choking on his food, which she alr ensure grind down enuf for bites but not too choking pieces. I tried a few times feeding him but each time he choked. I developed fear of feeding him initially till overcome my fear as it helps when I kept chatting leisurely & more relaxing with him after SIL’s encouragement.

She cld’ve gotten my nephew or the maid to carry him back to his wheelchair or bed, but she’ll patiently hold him up even though she was old & frail herself, and kept instructing him to shuffle his right & then left leg forward to walk towards his seat.

To me, nothing is more valuable then the time taken to love and care for our family.

[Estéema]

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2059655\" time=\"1645593606\" user_id=\"3:

Lol... I will be when she goes back to Indonesia.

You don’t let go of a gem!

Give her a good treat to encourage her care for you & fast action lor

[sushi88]

Sun_2010\" post_id=\"2059641\" time=\"1645591648\" user_id=\"18393:

My dad is in his early stages alzheimer's, I found it so hard to believe. He has been an emotional support, so for me to come to terms with this was very hard. Just 5-6 years back , I used to rely on him for some of my financial dealings. He had to nag me on my premiums, and other stuff. And today I have to take care of his finances.

Alzheimers is not just forgetfulness. One can say it is more of confusion, cloudy, being blur. Same thing that is confusing today , they may recall the next day with clarity.
.............

Funz and Imp75, thank you for your sharing. It's always nice to know parents who are living healthily and enjoying their old age...it is indeed a blessing and happy for both of you.

Sun_2010, like you, I had a bit of problem believing that my mum had Alzheimer's...and you are right, it is not just forgetfulness, she is very confused about many things. I found that her latest memories are somehow erased and her strongest memories are quite far back and the best way is to engage her in those memories so that she would not lose them further....that's how we think now. For those she has lost, we could only try to remind her but it would never stick....it's like a post-in sticker that keeps falling off within a minute or so. The only way is to be patient with her... sometimes one of my siblings could be frustrated with her but I reminded him that if we were frustrated, we could imagine it was probably 100 times worse for her, as she could be thinking who these strangers(us) were.... The rainbow we could see now is the speed of her memory loss seemed to have slowed down compared to at one stage, it was like plummeting. Talking a lot to her seemed to help.

So I can empathise with how you feel... let's continue to try hard for them! :rahrah:

[sushi88]

Estéema\" post_id=\"2059625\" time=\"1645584455\" user_id=\"66413:

Anytime u need someone to chat or get some ideas how to handle, just ask or pm me if u need. Always hv a frd to journey together will be easier to bear.

Thank you Esteema! Much appreciated.

[Sun_2010]

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2059653\" time=\"1645593442\" user_id=\"3:

Good sharing, Sun_2010. I hope you stay with your dad, as is, for a long time.

Actually, it's still ok to walk outside. Just wear a mask if you are worried. Walk for about 5km, which will take about an hour. If you do it very often, it doesn't matter how fast you walk as your overall distance travelled will be much more effective for your body.

Or invest in a treadmill. That's what's I've been doing. Put it in front of your TV and you won't even know you've been exercising

Thanks Chief.
I still go for night walks or cycling almost daily. I need to get out of the house to maintain my sanity, dunno why, If I dont go out for 2 days , no one wants to be near me like I bite :siao:

I used to take him for daily walks pre covid, which he would grumble but would accompany , only if I brought the wheel chair along though. But now it is reduced to weekends , if it doesnt rain. My mom and he joined an virtual yoga session every weekday evening, and that has been very helpful for him . I need to guide him here and there , the teacher simplifies a lot of for him, and that has helped a lot with his mood and digestion and aches. If only he agrees to go for walks in the morning but he wants to sleep.

[Sun_2010]

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2059648\" time=\"1645592735\" user_id=\"3:

My goodness. Don't let me get started on it... or I'll rant to no end. Short version: I had 6 months warning, but the stupid young doctor of the hospital I went to claimed my headache was due to \"vertigo\" and sent me for some hearing tests before they decided it was something due to my brain and not my ears. 1 week before I saw their \"brain\" doctor... I had the stroke. Luckily my maid found me and called for the ambulance, which fortunately sent me to TTSH instead of the other stupid hospital.

I'm just thankful I had 6 months to \"prepare\" for that stroke. I started exercising by running regularly since I had the headache, and I think I won't be here chatting with you guys if I hadn't.

So, run for your lives! A run a day keeps the reaper at bay. Literally.

You lost consciousness? Scary!
Must have been a trying time for your family , can only imagine how worried your wife and children must have been.

You did the right thing, you went for medical help when you felt something was off. Atleast the doctor should have trusted your gut. No one goes to doc for a simple headache , something told you it was not normal . This juggling between specialists - I believe our professionals should be better than this - \"not my problem aka not my area\" , but sigh! Arent they our best and brightest?