$350k for 1 child?
-
markfch:
this is a sweeping statement.
You seem to insinuate that young couples give allowance to their parents only when they need their old folk's help? Hmm, interesting food for thought ....HyperKiasu:
mmmmm if the grandmum sacrificed much of her own time at their golden age taking care of the kids.....
no offense here:
Live together with parents can benefit the young couple more than benefit the old parents if there is no relationships issues ....
i have seen enough cases of old parents taking care of kids, saving a lot of cost for the whole family...
so giving old ppl allowance is nothing....
i m not that complicated to insinuate anything as u think.... -
markfch:
In that case, then I'm worse
that looks a bit 夸张HyperKiasu:
[quote=\"tamarind\"]
I agree with you. I do hope to set good examples for my kids
When I give allowance to my mother, I purposely let me kids see me handing over the money to my mother This is to teach them that children should support their parents when they grow up. They may not turn out the way I hope for in the future, but I must at least try to teach them. cos I purposely hand over my monthly allowance to my ds so that he can give to my mum. Much to the amusement of my mum :lol:[/quote]I never tot of that! I am going to do that too 
-
I too think $350K is grossly under estimated. If the child is going oversea for tertiary education, where got enough. My niece is going to switzerland to study hotel management this Aug, I was told it may cost up to $350K.
buds:
Hey buds, me too keep the receipts. And I did exactly the same, ask my girls to count their blessing. I did not take note when did it actually started but my girls will thank my hb and me after each meal and every outing we have when we are on our way home and sometimes when they say goodnite to us, they will thank us again for the great day.Tam darling, i keep ALL receipts in my BIG book since the first time they
enrolled in kindy. :evil: How? Track secure anot? :lol:
No one has a right to criticize others cos we all have our own way of doing
things especially when it comes to raising our children. :hugs:
Children SHOULD NEVER take things for granted. That's definitely a start.
That's why before the girls sleep each night, i remind them to count their
blessings. This way they reflect and learn to appreciate even the littlest
things in life. And... the simplest things in life CAN be rewarding more
than we know it. -
markfch:
In that case, then I'm worse
that looks a bit 夸张HyperKiasu:
[quote=\"tamarind\"]
I agree with you. I do hope to set good examples for my kids
When I give allowance to my mother, I purposely let me kids see me handing over the money to my mother This is to teach them that children should support their parents when they grow up. They may not turn out the way I hope for in the future, but I must at least try to teach them. cos I purposely hand over my monthly allowance to my ds so that he can give to my mum. Much to the amusement of my mum :lol:[/quote]I asked my girls to hand the monthly allowance to my dad too. I told them that GongGong had work hard to support me when he was younger and now he is too old to work and support himself, by giving him the monthly allowance, it will bring a smile on his face as he knows that he will not have to worry to find money to buy food for the next 30days and also he will have money to buy sweets for them too *which my dad always did, he would buy 2 bottles of M&M every month for them*. That goes the same to the christmas present we give to old folks home every year. I told them, these old grandpas and grandmas have done much to the society when they were younger, we should show our appreciation and respect by making them happy. Before christmas, they will dig out some money from their piggy bank and we will go supermarket to buy some groceries and bring them to the old folks home. I hope to teach my girls, when they give, they must give from their heart, not because of obligation.
My hb and I hope not to be a burden to my children when we grow old, especially financially. -
HyperKiasu:
HyperKiasu,
mmmmm if the grandmum sacrificed much of her own time at their golden age taking care of the kids.....
no offense here:
Live together with parents can benefit the young couple more than benefit the old parents if there is no relationships issues ....
i have seen enough cases of old parents taking care of kids, saving a lot of cost for the whole family...
so giving old ppl allowance is nothing....
I think you have not lived with your PIL before........
Are you sure that is the case? Have you seen enough cases to generalize your statement? and you IF think like this, how are you independent? -
HyperKiasu:
But western parents when they become grandparents won't take care of grandchildren like many chinese grandparents do....[/quote]Are you sure???
yes, most normal family will probably get the kids to save and earn their colleage fees. But when emphasize individualism, and freedom they tend to forget about their parents. I think that is whAt Tam is saying.tree nymph:
[quote=\"HyperKiasu\"]
i dun agree here.
most westerns start to earn a living at much earlier age than Chinese....
they emphasize individualism, independence more than we do.... -
HyperKiasu:
Yes, they usually have a big gathering once a year during Thanksgiving and/or X'mas.
i dunt agree again
i dun think westerns may never see their children again when children are grownup. even so, they won't feel too much disheartened.....
THe whole culture value system differs from ours. and they dun think there is anything wrong to spend their last days in old folks home.
only eastern feel upset about this....
The fact is many western ppl when they are getting old, they are still very active and very happy and still full of life like young kids !!
their old folks home is much better than what u have seen here !!
Are you sure they won't feel too much disheartened??
Yes, they usually think that there's nothing wrong to spend their last days in old folks home. BUT is that what they want?
I have also met sick ones, not so well-do-to ones, not in the best of heath ones, rich ones and normal ones. They try to stay active by doing gardening, doing some grocery shopping, much like what our oldies are doing here. How are you sure that they are very happy and still full of live like young kids??
I was told they were lonely and if they hope that their kids or even their grandkids can visit them more often. If you go to Northern Europe, you will see that nowadays youngers stay with the parents longer and longer and they move out only if they need to work in another city or if they got married.
Fillial Piety is not about numbers, that is right. Its the way you express and the thoughts and care you show to your parents. I can only say not to take our parents for granted and really have to show our appreciation for what they have done for us when they are alive. Don't take it for granted that the old folks like to stay in old folks home. The old folks I visited certainly do not not think so!
子欲养而亲不在。 don't live in regrets. -
PIL chose not to live with us....but we contintue giving them allowance...
actually what i want to say is:
It is a blessing to live with with parents...
dun take it for granted that old parents are obliged to take care of kids....
Yes i have seen enough of cases:
1) one neighbour even never hire full time / partime maid.... their parents (70yrs) work like their maid in their house for more than 10 yrs....
2) one friend whose parents also take care of the two kids from births for the past 6 yrs.... they hired one maid for only a few month in the past history...
3) one friend whose parents can't help them, friend has to resign becoz of maid problem....
4) and ex-collegue who resigned due to same issue....
5) one ex-company's consultant who retired and spent all his saving traveeling with his wife enjoying retiree's desired life.... visited his grandchildren occassionally...
also hear-say more similar cases....
the young couple in 1)2) are doing very well in their career....
the young couple in 3)4) are struggling financially due to the opportunity cost of a stayathome mum....
can the allowance compensate what if 1)2) were put in situation like 3) 4).....?
in addition, i doubt those parents who received allowance will spend the money... they will save keep and give back... that is love....
in chinese, this is 一代欠一代, 上代欠下代
perhaps u hate i use the word \"nothing\" of (giving allowance is nothing)...nvm lah...
furthermore, i believe many mother's love for children are selfless and unconditional.....many example in the media.... -
HyperKiasu:
5 cases and that is a lot???PIL chose not to live with us....but we contintue giving them allowance...
actually what i want to say is:
It is a blessing to live with with parents...
dun take it for granted that old parents are obliged to take care of kids....
Yes i have seen enough of cases:
1) one neighbour even never hire full time / partime maid.... their parents (70yrs) work like their maid in their house for more than 10 yrs....
2) one friend whose parents also take care of the two kids from births for the past 6 yrs.... they hired one maid for only a few month in the past history...
3) one friend whose parents can't help them, friend has to resign becoz of maid problem....
4) and ex-collegue who resigned due to same issue....
5) one ex-company's consultant who retired and spent all his saving traveeling with his wife enjoying retiree's desired life.... visited his grandchildren occassionally...
also hear-say more similar cases....
the young couple in 1)2) are doing very well in their career....
the young couple in 3)4) are struggling financially due to the opportunity cost of a stayathome mum....
can the allowance compensate what if 1)2) were put in situation like 3) 4).....?
in addition, i doubt those parents who received allowance will spend the money... they will save keep and give back... that is love....
in chinese, this is 一代欠一代
perhaps u hate i use the word \"nothing\" of (giving allowance is nothing)...
furthermore, i believe many mother's love for children are selfless and unconditional.....many example in the media....
have you seen the flip side of young couples staying with parents or parents in law? Then how are these couple going to be independent? And then after all the parents had been through working and slogging first for them and them for their kids, send them to old folks home and you think this is right? -
tree nymph:
alamak, my dear tree, how am i supposed to list all i know....and i am also not supposed to remember all i know right?
5 cases and that is a lot???HyperKiasu:
PIL chose not to live with us....but we contintue giving them allowance...
actually what i want to say is:
It is a blessing to live with with parents...
dun take it for granted that old parents are obliged to take care of kids....
Yes i have seen enough of cases:
1) one neighbour even never hire full time / partime maid.... their parents (70yrs) work like their maid in their house for more than 10 yrs....
2) one friend whose parents also take care of the two kids from births for the past 6 yrs.... they hired one maid for only a few month in the past history...
3) one friend whose parents can't help them, friend has to resign becoz of maid problem....
4) and ex-collegue who resigned due to same issue....
5) one ex-company's consultant who retired and spent all his saving traveeling with his wife enjoying retiree's desired life.... visited his grandchildren occassionally...
also hear-say more similar cases....
the young couple in 1)2) are doing very well in their career....
the young couple in 3)4) are struggling financially due to the opportunity cost of a stayathome mum....
can the allowance compensate what if 1)2) were put in situation like 3) 4).....?
in addition, i doubt those parents who received allowance will spend the money... they will save keep and give back... that is love....
in chinese, this is 一代欠一代
perhaps u hate i use the word \"nothing\" of (giving allowance is nothing)...
furthermore, i believe many mother's love for children are selfless and unconditional.....many example in the media....
have you seen the flip side of young couples staying with parents or parents in law? Then how are these couple going to be independent? And then after all the parents had been through working and slogging first for them and them for their kids, send them to old folks home and you think this is right?
to list 5 is enough lah not exclusive one lah....
i condemn those 忘恩负衣, i already post two trees previously.....that is a very basic thing to be 孝 for our chinese lah....
my point is : becoz tamarind say indenpence will lead to child leaving parents which i strongly disagree... that simple lah....
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login