Discipline

[ChiefKiasu]

PsMom\" post_id=\"2068078\" time=\"1653006228\" user_id=\"178612:

Govt service for 24 years ? How can you compare a 15 year old to a 40 year old ? Does adulthood equate to teenage? Then why are the teenagers made out to be such a big deal? Why have the psychologists written books about how to deal with them? And a job in public eye where you are being paid public money for your salary, is same as a captain of a small school team? How can you compare the punishment from one to another?
Is this how we deal with people in one of the most sensitive stages of their lives? Has pandemic tauught us nothing? What happened at River Valley school was a first of its kind, in Singapore, right? Why did it happen? Doesn't looks like anyone learnt anything from the event, just suppressed it as a one time thing?

Dear PsMom, I can understand the frustration you must have gone through managing your teenager. I agree the punishment is harsh, but I also agree that it will be difficult to leave someone who is not trustworthy in a leadership role.

I'm not sure if a period suspension of duties as the \"captain of the team\" will do the trick, as someone else would become captain in the meantime so it will be difficult to change that. Perhaps what can be done is for your son to think about the seriousness of what he has done, accept the consequences, and sincerely repent. Then he can compete for the captainship again with the full trust of the school. That is what I think the school should allow, and not simply a permanent ban.

We all make mistakes when we are young, and to learn from them, we must accept the consequences of our mistakes. Your son is an excellent student, and might have thought nothing of the consequences of telling others about the test questions. Fortunately he is caught, and he must learn the consequences of what he has done.

[MrsKiasu]

Frankly…I didn’t know it can be so serious as in ‘telling’ your friend abt the qn…I just imagine it could be just a ‘friend’ talk and it kinda leaked a little bit during your recess chit chat or what?..if there are more than 1 session of (important) exam for students. Shouldn’t they separate the students?

[MrsKiasu]

I just imagine it is now a difficult period for the child…we got to try to reassure the child that it is not the end of the road. Just some difficulties along the way that allow him to learn more…don’t only look at the bad side…who knows the child may learn an important lesson in life and able to soar higher later in his life.

[Zappy]

Looks like we all agree that cheating is wrong.


The question here seems to be whether the student can still lead the soccer team as a captain. The school thinks not. The likely reason is that the moral authority to lead the team is diminished if the other team members know about the incident and not revenge since there is no real reason for that. Since you were asking if the punishment suits the crime, for me, personally the answer is yes.

However, you did mention other factors like self-harm, etc. None of the anonymous people on this forum has the insights or details about you, your son, the school, the actual details of the crime itself and if there are other factors that were left out. Self-harm implies stress and mental well-being so if you really feel so strong about it, feel free to go talk to the school to work out a solution.

[PsMom]

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2068087\" time=\"1653008496\" user_id=\"3:

Dear PsMom, I can understand the frustration you must have gone through managing your teenager. I agree the punishment is harsh, but I also agree that it will be difficult to leave someone who is not trustworthy in a leadership role.

I'm not sure if a period suspension of duties as the \"captain of the team\" will do the trick, as someone else would become captain in the meantime so it will be difficult to change that. Perhaps what can be done is for your son to think about the seriousness of what he has done, accept the consequences, and sincerely repent. Then he can compete for the captainship again with the full trust of the school. That is what I think the school should allow, and not simply a permanent ban.

We all make mistakes when we are young, and to learn from them, we must accept the consequences of our mistakes. Your son is an excellent student, and might have thought nothing of the consequences of telling others about the test questions. Fortunately he is caught, and he must learn the consequences of what he has done.

Thanks ! This is what we were proposing to the school. But looks like the discipline master has issues of her own to handle. A DM who starts shaking in anger when you propose something different than what they are saying , is not the right person to be the Student Manager in my opinion, specially handling teenagers.
If she could slap me in the face, she would have done that ! But she could not , SO she started shaking in anger, her voice shook and she literally threw the paper in my hand to sign.
Thank you all for your valuable opinions. While I know I my son is a good boy and I am a good mother, I realize good people do mistakes too. I have some great suggestions here that I will work with. As always, appreciative of this community.
As for those who threw lemons my way, I'll make a lemonade out of it, so thank you for your criticism too

[phtthp]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2068088\" time=\"1653008895\" user_id=\"43981:

Frankly..I didn't know it can be so serious as in 'telling' your friend abt the qn..I just imagine it could be just a 'friend' talk and it kinda leaked a little bit during your recess chit chat or what?..if there are more than 1 session of (important) exam for students. Shouldn't they separate the students?

For (Psle, O-level, A-level) English and Chinese Oral, if morning & afternoon National exam got two different sessions, schools won't let students mix, nor bump into one another.

But if is internal school Term tests or exam, they won't bother to separate out the different session students. Perhaps, school Teachers can give gentle reminder to students not to leak out any exam qn, just before the students leave the classroom or school hall. Remind students that if
they refuse to comply to school rules, be prepared to face disciplinary action meted out.