In-law problems?

[janet88]

auntieM:

Hi janet_lee88,

We were childless for some years and ILs/ BIL can get as much attention/$ as they want from DH.
MIL wanted leechy BIL to 'take over'/help out DH.. ..
Younger BIL is the precious son mah..

My DH dotes on his son, to the dismay of my MIL..
If DS told her about new Lego set we will kena 'swan'..
MIL feels that 'good life' being taken away by my DS somehow.. ...

When my other BIL passed away leaving behind a 10 year old, the younger brother somehow took over his Breitling, Tag watches..etc ..very fast, beat my PRC SIL to it :faint:

B4 we got married, hubby's other brother (ie the youngest) wore hubby's clothes and used his things. I was so fed up bcos those stuff were what I bought him. I understand the part about getting attention & $$$ from your hubby bcos it happened to mine too :x

[Andaiz]

markfch:

You sounded like somebody I know. Better not probe further, I prefer to be the faceless keyboard warrior

Hehe! Whether I know you or not, we are \"neighbours\" on this forum lah! :hi5:

markfch:

Even though I *pleased* my PILs cos of ds, I got issues with them too. I'm actually quite scared of letting them handle ds. PILs have this 100% *scientific* concept which says if ds runs and knocks into a tree, it's the tree's fault :shock: for being there. If the tree is of any good, it should just uproot itself and roll over so that ds won't get injured :slapshead:

And FIL's favourite words to ds is \"Tell me what you want, whatever it is grandpa will surely get it for you\". I :imdrowning: whenever I'm within earshot of this.

Liddat you think I dare to let them take care of ds or not?

Actually, I do have an issue with gramps spoiling the kids! But know something, your DS would take you as a reference so if parents don't spoil him, he'd be a-OK. :celebrate:

[buds]

markfch:

Even though I *pleased* my PILs cos of ds, I got issues with them too. I'm actually quite scared of letting them handle ds. PILs have this 100% *scientific* concept which says if ds runs and knocks into a tree, it's the tree's fault :shock: for being there. If the tree is of any good, it should just uproot itself and roll over so that ds won't get injured :slapshead:

Mine too! MIL especially. Once DD2 ran (oh.. how she loves to run all over
the place!) and fell to the floor, bumped her head and of course yelped a
loud one and immediately sat up to touch her forehead, which had a small
buah duku (bump). MIL came over before i cud pick her up and smacked
da floor.. and said.. \"Naughty floor. Gave you this bump hor.\" I was like
this at first.. then just sighed softly :roll: and walked away. Not worth
saying anything at that point of time. :politebleah: Let it be lor.. nottie flr
nottie floor lor. But back in the room, i did the consoling my way.

markfch:

Liddat you think I dare to let them take care of ds or not?

That's why i am a stay-home-parent.

Dun dare to let any other person take care of them
other than my own parents and myself. :oops:

[tree nymph]

buds:

Mine too! MIL especially. Once DD2 ran (oh.. how she loves to run all over
the place!) and fell to the floor, bumped her head and of course yelped a
loud one and immediately sat up to touch her forehead, which had a small
buah duku (bump). MIL came over before i cud pick her up and smacked
da floor.. and said.. \"Naughty floor. Gave you this bump hor.\" I was like
this at first.. then just sighed softly :roll: and walked away. Not worth
saying anything at that point of time. :politebleah: Let it be lor.. nottie flr
nottie floor lor. But back in the room, i did the consoling my way.

:lol:

I also do the same! notti floor notti floor, don't cry, i smack the notti floor for you ok??!!

And if the kid got bitten by the mozzie and came complaining about it to me, I will ask my kid, the mozzie is so small, how come you didn't bite the mozzie back?

too bad mah, i :siao: one!

But I have one follow-up action - after the child stop crying, that its because he ran and didn't watch where he go...

heheheee...

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[buds]

Wah really arh you two? :faint:


All this time i thought only the oldies were the ones doin' that. :oops:

[janet88]

Buds,

Same here…I am a SAHM bcos my mum can’t handle the kid’s school work. If I need to run errands, my parents will look after the kids. I dare not let any other person take care of them, let alone leaving them with their paternal grandparents for a short period, esp the way the tone they use. My heart breaks man !!!

[buds]

I run errands with my girls. They are a BIG help!


The only time i am without them is my girls' nite out
with my girlfriends! Speaking of which, one that i
should do soon before the school holidays end. :evil:

Once or twice during anniversary when my parents
offer to mind them. The exceptional times would be
during emergencies like i am in hospital or stuff like
that.

Most times, hubs & i arrange between ourselves when
it comes to our kiddie arrangements..

That said, the only occasions PILs do keep an eye is
when we go for our late nite movie shows and couple
time out, which we only leave once the girls are all
settled in after shower, dinner and most times ready
for bed. They don't need to do anything. Just keep
an eye. Most times my girls can take care of them
-selves well enough or they're already asleep.

[Andaiz]

buds:

That said, the only occasions PILs do keep an eye is
when we go for our late nite movie shows and couple
time out, which we only leave once the girls are all
settled in after shower, dinner and most times ready
for bed. They don't need to do anything. Just keep
an eye. Most times my girls can take care of them
-selves well enough or they're already asleep.

Yep! Learnt my lesson big time. Yesterday, PIL's arranged to bring the girls out with their only 1st cousin. They've talked about it for a long time and then finalized during the Father's Day Dinner.

On Sun afternoon, DH called to remind them about the \"date\" and MIL was like all flustered as DH asked about wet weather plans etc etc etc...newaes, to cut long story short, 1/2 hour before time, called my mum up to ask her to pack swim costumes coz they are bringing the kids swimming (i.e., read FIL goes into wading pool with 4 very active kids under 8 while MIL lounges by the poolside watching!) My mum called me and then I called DH (great tagteam we are) who then called FIL to confirm that he was going into the pool. :roll:

So off the kids went, with pep talk from me and my mum on safety and taking care of each other, about not running around etc....then at the change room, MIL left DD1 to dry DD3 up whilst she picks up her handbag from the locker. We were like :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: why???? didn't even wash her up while she attends to niece who's half a year younger than DD3. Sheesh! :frustrated:

Am glad, markfch and buds that you two think like me....

To plagarize markfch (aka copy shamelessly \"Liddat you think I dare to let them take care of ds or not? \"

[markfch]

LKVM:

We also do that... whenever lil DS2 fall down or get hurt just try to hit the floor or the wall and say this one hurt u i give hit back okk

One parenting councillor once warned me of the danger of doing this is. Next time when kids grow up and meet setbacks, they may have a tendency to blame others. In other words, like me :!:

My favourite words to ds is: 'Don't blame others, just learn from it'. So when he goes sch and wins in a board game, he'll console his classmates by saying the same thing. But when he loses, then he'll cry out loud :rotflmao: This according to the principal.

[buds]

Andaiz:

To plagarize markfch (aka copy shamelessly \"Liddat you think I dare to let them take care of ds or not? \"

The very 1st time i trusted them (PIL), i went out in anxiety and just
kept thinking of going back cos they normally just the touch and go,
hi and bye, wash hands off type.. not the kind who will jaga from
daylight to daybreak sort. More to just play play awhile and thats
it.

When i came back i wanted to cry when my girls said they were soooo
hungry and waited so long for us to get back. I saw that the food i cooled
in their bowls cold and untouched and the milk i prepared (to be taken shortly after dinner) followed by sleep time.. was also untouched.

Worse was, the girls were still so messy and in their day clothes.
Yup, they haven't even taken their shower. They were sticky and smelly
and dirty from a whole day's play. They also said they were very tired...
I felt so guilty & unhappy that i agreed to go out with hubs after seeing
the girls like that when we came back. I was so so so soo sooo sad...

I never wanted it to happen again.

I knew hubs was somehow surprised & sad too, he didn't say anything but
he helped me with the girls and also with feeding and milk later on. Men
mah.. single antenna and solve the problem kind. Negative things just
hold. In a way, it can be a good thing if women can do that.

Just a lotta swallowing loh..

I decided not to say anything that night since hubs somehow felt what i
felt and automatically came to my aid with the girls after we arrived back.
In a way, while words were unspoken... the mutual feelings were there.
So no words were needed. :love: I did sway my thoughts aloud to the gals
though, like \"Oh my poor babies.. i shouldn't have left you..\" and \"I feel
so bad...\" but all DD1 said after that was, \"So how? Did you and daddy
enjoy yourself with the show? Was it good? Hope you two had a fun day.\"

More guilty! Tho' it was so sweet of her!

We were told to enjoy ourselves when we left and MIL said dun worry
the girls will be fine. She'd take care of things. We came back with her
glued to the TV and i cud hear the girls crying in the room. Suffice to say,
i learnt my lesson...

I trusted her enuf to entrust and leave the girls in her care, but i was
disappointed that even the basics of child care wasn't gao tim...
despite preparations and instructions given by hubs.