All About Bullying
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Hmm i would like to share my boy experience that some bully incidents.
1. When he was p1 , he got slapped by a p3 student. He went to school quite early that day & the p3 slapped him because my boy don’t want play with him. After that , we teach him to stay in canteen where there will be more people & ensure know where to get help when things happen.
2. When he was p3 & p4
In between period, one of the classmates pushed him & threw his school bag to dustbin outside classroom. Keep finding trouble with my boy during PE lesson , push him/ kick him.
One day he pushed back & everything stop
3. Around p5
He always the outcast & doesn’t know how to make friend . Finally has a friend to go recess to , he was very happy . Till one day , this friend choose to be with another popular group of friends & told them not to play my boy.
So we taught him about choice- don’t have to only go back to that friend , learn to make friends with others.
It was quite hard as his confidence was affected and angry with himself . Throughout the years , when things happened , we go through solutions with him & definitely teachers support as well.
Maybe his case is not that serious , but with support & talking through does make him better handling the situation. Honestly, not all teachers can help. But going through the situation & possible solutions does help my boy .
Now last year of his pri Sch, he doing well in term of social. -
nissin\" post_id=\"401950\" time=\"1303088590\" user_id=\"21184:
Oh dear, I couldn't agree more with you! Proper upbringing is so important, and it's disheartening to hear about parents who don't take bullying seriously. Kids learn so much from us, don't they? And you're absolutely right, teachers and principals should definitely step in too. It's not just \"playing around\" when it hurts other kids. Let's hope things change for the better and our little ones grow up kind and caring. Take care, dear! 💕
I totally agree fully that parents must play a big role in the proper upbringing of the kids. I was so shocked when a close friend of mine while chatting told me that she is ok as long as her boy is not the victim..she does not mind her kids going around bullying other kids..and mind u, her elder boy is only 35 mths now and he likes to hit others (his mummy is actually proud that her kid is not a softie!!). What a twisted mentality!! Are all the new-age parents like that nowadays??
:?
Teachers and principals have to play a part too! There was once in my kids kindy where there is a big bully in my son's class, with a very cute looking face..many kids were \"bullied\" by him before..so when I told the person-in charge of the kindy about this boy, she just brushed it off by saying \"Oh,he's actually a very lovable boy..just playing around\". Even teachers/principals are treating these as trivial matters, no wonder the bullies will carry on their \"evil ways\" till teenage yrs! -
Yes...proper upbringing sets the foundation for our kids future and addressing bullying is important. It is a team effort involving parents, teachers, and school authorities. Let's wish a brighter and kinder future for our little ones lah.
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Hurt people go around hurting other people. It may be a way to release pent up tensions in order to feel better. We should teach our kids to protect themselves against bullies, we should also teach them this psychology behind bullies, so that our kids can have some compassions inside them when dealing with bullies , to break the vicious cycle in themselves and others. For the bullies the first step is to recognise any problem they have within. With recognition, compassion for oneself can then grow. Once they have compassion for themselves, compassions for others are then possible
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bbbay\" post_id=\"2118330\" time=\"1693873228\" user_id=\"175278:
It's true that hurt people may sometimes hurt others, but it's not always the case. Bullying can stem from various reasons, and while understanding the psychology behind bullies is valuable, it's essential not to excuse or justify their behavior solely based on their personal struggles.
Hurt people go around hurting other people. It may be a way to release pent up tensions in order to feel better. We should teach our kids to protect themselves against bullies, we should also teach them this psychology behind bullies, so that our kids can have some compassions inside them when dealing with bullies , to break the vicious cycle in themselves and others. For the bullies the first step is to recognise any problem they have within. With recognition, compassion for oneself can then grow. Once they have compassion for themselves, compassions for others are then possible
Teaching our children to protect themselves is crucial, but it should also be coupled with teaching them conflict resolution skills and empathy. Encouraging them to stand up against bullying while showing compassion can indeed help break the cycle, as you mentioned. However, it's equally important to ensure that the bully is held accountable for their actions and receives appropriate guidance and support to address their issues.
Recognizing problems within oneself is a significant step for bullies, but it's not a guarantee that they will automatically develop compassion. Addressing the root causes of their behavior, such as low self-esteem or a troubled home life, may require professional intervention and counseling. Compassion for oneself is an essential part of personal growth, but it should not be the sole focus when addressing bullying. -
kinafoxwgm\" post_id=\"2119190\" time=\"1694947117\" user_id=\"202893:
Having compassion for others does not mean we become vegetables and let other chop as please. It could mean walk away from the situation instead of “standing up” to the bullies during those heated moments. Walk away is not weakness. Walking away is helpful to the bullies by giving the bullies no chance to harm others and in the end, themselves too. That could be the breaking of vicious cycles.
It's true that hurt people may sometimes hurt others, but it's not always the case. Bullying can stem from various reasons, and while understanding the psychology behind bullies is valuable, it's essential not to excuse or justify their behavior solely based on their personal struggles.
Teaching our children to protect themselves is crucial, but it should also be coupled with teaching them conflict resolution skills and empathy. Encouraging them to stand up against bullying while showing compassion can indeed help break the cycle, as you mentioned. However, it's equally important to ensure that the bully is held accountable for their actions and receives appropriate guidance and support to address their issues.
Recognizing problems within oneself is a significant step for bullies, but it's not a guarantee that they will automatically develop compassion. Addressing the root causes of their behavior, such as low self-esteem or a troubled home life, may require professional intervention and counseling. Compassion for oneself is an essential part of personal growth, but it should not be the sole focus when addressing bullying.
Having compassions does not mean letting wrong doing bullies off. It could be giving them 2nd chance after reproof because of the understanding of their situations and try to help them with professional help, Instead of the 2 extremes : avoiding them or “eye for an eye”.
Kids from troubled family usually have pent up emotions. Any suppressed emotions have to find an outlet. Some expressed as bullying. For these unfortunate kids, first having the awareness of the situation they are in and develop compassion for themselves, instead of putting up a brave front by suppressing their pent up emotion, could be the first step to seek other trusted adults’ helps. Therefore having awareness and compassion for oneself, could also be the first step in seeking help to resolve family issues. It could be complex issues that involves the kid’s entire living environment. Compassion is the key starting point to address them.
AddressingMental health issue works about the same too: first be aware and be compassionate to the situation self is in. When we show compassion to self we are more likely to seek help, instead of making it worse -
bbbay\" post_id=\"2119235\" time=\"1695082957\" user_id=\"175278:
I think it depends on the bully. He may think you walking away means he has \"won\" and might actually continue his behavior in the future thinking you will just walk away. It's a tough situation, but I feel there's a need for a 3rd more \"powerful\" mediator to come in and talk things out.
Having compassion for others does not mean we become vegetables and let other chop as please. It could mean walk away from the situation instead of “standing up” to the bullies during those heated moments. Walk away is not weakness. Walking away is helpful to the bullies by giving the bullies no chance to harm others and in the end, themselves too. That could be the breaking of vicious cycles.
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ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2119251\" time=\"1695111848\" user_id=\"3:
Walk away unaffected. Some bullies want to see others looking hurt. It’s not easy, but if we can walk away looking unaffected, over time, bullies may just leave you alone because they are not able to transfer their negative emotions onto you, or they are not getting a response from you when response it’s what they are looking for.
I think it depends on the bully. He may think you walking away means he has \"won\" and might actually continue his behavior in the future thinking you will just walk away. It's a tough situation, but I feel there's a need for a 3rd more \"powerful\" mediator to come in and talk things out. -
bbbay\" post_id=\"2119253\" time=\"1695112462\" user_id=\"175278:
Sure, bullies want us to feel bad but if we don't respond or react to them, they might get tired and stop but this is not always the case tho. Some bullies are v persistent. They will keep nagging someone until they get the reaction/response that they want. If avoiding them is impossible, what should our children do? 😟
Walk away unaffected. Some bullies want to see others looking hurt. It’s not easy, but if we can walk away looking unaffected, over time, bullies may just leave you alone because they are not able to transfer their negative emotions onto you, or they are not getting a response from you when response it’s what they are looking for. -
bella2005\" post_id=\"2119294\" time=\"1695200117\" user_id=\"202913:
My approach if my child is the target of bully:
Sure, bullies want us to feel bad but if we don't respond or react to them, they might get tired and stop but this is not always the case tho. Some bullies are v persistent. They will keep nagging someone until they get the reaction/response that they want. If avoiding them is impossible, what should our children do? 😟
1) if personal safety is at risk, run and report to teacher right away. To show bully the child know exactly how to protect himself if forced to. The bully will have to face the teacher now.
2) if bully destroys his books or stationary and my child cannot stop it without any tussles, I will tell my
child we will accept the financial lost. So that my child doesn’t have to confront bully or feel lousy over the lost. And report to teacher. The bully will have to face the teacher now.
3) if the bully pushes and my child feel hurt physically , treat it like situation 1)
4) if the bully pushes and my child does not feel hurt physically, I will want my child to stay calm and walk away. Repeated calmness and non responses may throw the bully off balance, and maybe the bully will
stop and even reflect upon himself and feel he is behaving non sensically.
5) if the bully taunts and verbally abuse my child, treat it as situation 4).
To help better manage situation 4 and 5, I will explain to my child bully’s behaviours are likely stem from problems bully may have and they are not having a good time too. And my child is more fortunate in this aspect . Hopefully my child see the bigger pictures and can overlook the temporary discomforts when in situation 4 and 5, and also develop compassions for bullies. And in all 5 situations my child able to stay balanced and not feel helpless. And of course, when seeing the bully coming toward my child, my child would have to take steps to protect himself first and not let the bully succeed. Then respond accordingly for situation 1,2 and 3, even the bully did not succeed
These are my personal opinions, coming from my own experiences. Not saying it’s easy to do.
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