Living in Singapore

[Liew Nga Wing]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"2130862\" time=\"1710743383\" user_id=\"17023:

When did I say it is wrong to stay single? Neither did I say that staying single is a crime.

I said I would do my best to guide my kids, firstly, to look for a life partner to have someone share in their joys and grief, be with them through thick and thin, and someone to share the life journey. Secondly, for my kids not to see having children as a burden, to appreciate and enjoy the wonders of motherhood. Thirdly, even if in the event they ever marry the wrong guy, it is ok, never ever die over a man. If I can accept divorce, then why would I think that being single is a crime?

对不起, 是我误会了, 请您多多包涵.

[Liew Nga Wing]

phtthp\" post_id=\"2130904\" time=\"1710809839\" user_id=\"35251:

should date normally during uni. Not to be too strict about just study.

While true that after university is difficult to find girl friend / boyfriend, but if get hooked too young, may not be mature enough to handle relationship.

Hitched early doesn't mean that relationship can outlast. Many other factors, at play

Can't help but believe in \"yuan fen\"
緣分

On the other hand,
sometimes if got hooked late, also not mature to handle relationship either!

顺其自然, 勉强没幸福.

[phtthp]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2130903\" time=\"1710807693\" user_id=\"28674:

Focus on raising sensible kids.

Appreciate if can share, how to raise sensible kids for

1) look for a job (career)

2) look for a spouse.

Thank you

[Liew Nga Wing]

Funz\" post_id=\"2130868\" time=\"1710746229\" user_id=\"6230:

To be honest, when in my 20s and after a few breakups, I had the thinking that being single is better than being with someone or marrying. I even had the thought that I do not need to have a partner to have kids, I can adopt if I really wanted kids. I felt that life will be a lot simpler if I do not have to consider or factor in another person in my decisions and daily life. My mum was pretty worried and nagged me about it, my dad did not approve of my lifestyle then. Eventually, I kinda got tired of that lifestyle and cupid struck so here I am married with kids and telling my kids rather similar stuff that leeyl is telling her girls. It is preferable to settle down and have a family, however if the partner does not work out for you, it is not the end of the road.

家庭有家庭里的快乐, 单身有单身所享受的自由, 随心所欲.

[doodbug]

phtthp\" post_id=\"2130911\" time=\"1710814083\" user_id=\"35251:

Appreciate if can share, how to raise sensible kids for

1) look for a job (career)

2) look for a spouse.

Thank you

Every person is an individual, not a programmable robot, with our own set of attitudes, preferences, inclinations, desires etc.

If there is a sure-win formula, it would have been discovered through the collective wisdom,

Time and circumstances are evolving. I would caution against leaning too much on methods of the past, because our kids are growing up in very different times. If the workplace has not convinced us enough, a lot of our long held beliefs must be challenged, and are probably obsolete.

Parenting is a humbling journey - we all learn that there are limits to parenting. Take life as a journey which we discover and learn with our kids, through the ups and downs, through supporting and building each other up.

[bbbay]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2130912\" time=\"1710814324\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2130912 time=1710814324 user_id=195250]
家庭有家庭里的快乐, 单身有单身所享受的自由, 随心所欲.[/quote]

只要不是长久的逃避就应该OK

[sharonkhoo]

phtthp\" post_id=\"2130911\" time=\"1710814083\" user_id=\"35251:

Appreciate if can share, how to raise sensible kids for

1) look for a job (career)

2) look for a spouse.

Thank you

If we focus on raising sensible kids, then we have to take our eyes off directing them into what looks good to us in terms of choices, like job or spouse. If they are sensible, it means they will be able to choose wisely for themselves, not choose something that their parents or others think is right for them.

Jobs: I would say that a sensible person has grown aware of his own strengths and weaknesses, understands his personality, and is willing to choose a career that suits him, not society's (or parents') idea of what is good for him. He will be sensible enough to ask for advice from parents and others who know more about the sector or job he is interested in, and figure out if it's right for him and if he can live on the income if it's not one of the high-paying kinds.

Spouse: Similarly, a sensible person will choose a spouse based on shared values, ability to get along well, that shared \"chemistry\", and not society's (or parents') idea of what is the right kind of spouse for him.

So once your raise a sensible kid, you relinquish control, and trust him to make his own decisions. As parents, we may guide and advise, but we don't insist or nag. We have to trust that they can make the decisions that are best for them, even if they are not what we think is best. I guess there are some exceptions - if my daughter wants to marry someone with lots of vices, or seems to be violent or abusive, I would step in more strongly. Hopefully, she would be sensible enough to listen!

To answer the \"how\" question, I can only say what I did with my kids. We \"brainwashed\" them when they were young in our values and faith, taught them good habits, responsibility, gratitude etc, and encouraged them to develop skills and interests. We tried to help them understand their own strengths and weaknesses, inclinations and dislikes, personality traits, love languages, etc. We gradually eased off from being authoritative and directive to being advisors and mentors over the years. We hope they will always regard us as mentors, but my younger girl is no longer ours to control. And we try to relinquish control as much as possible for the older one, though it's a slow process.

[Liew Nga Wing]

bbbay\" post_id=\"2130918\" time=\"1710816144\" user_id=\"175278:

只要不是长久的逃避就应该OK

要逃避甚麽?? :?

[00skyblue00]

:goodpost:

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2130919\" time=\"1710816659\" user_id=\"28674:

If we focus on raising sensible kids, then we have to take our eyes off directing them into what looks good to us in terms of choices, like job or spouse. If they are sensible, it means they will be able to choose wisely for themselves, not choose something that their parents or others think is right for them.

Jobs: I would say that a sensible person has grown aware of his own strengths and weaknesses, understands his personality, and is willing to choose a career that suits him, not society's (or parents') idea of what is good for him. He will be sensible enough to ask for advice from parents and others who know more about the sector or job he is interested in, and figure out if it's right for him and if he can live on the income if it's not one of the high-paying kinds.

Spouse: Similarly, a sensible person will choose a spouse based on shared values, ability to get along well, that shared \"chemistry\", and not society's (or parents') idea of what is the right kind of spouse for him.

So once your raise a sensible kid, you relinquish control, and trust him to make his own decisions. As parents, we may guide and advise, but we don't insist or nag. We have to trust that they can make the decisions that are best for them, even if they are not what we think is best. I guess there are some exceptions - if my daughter wants to marry someone with lots of vices, or seems to be violent or abusive, I would step in more strongly. Hopefully, she would be sensible enough to listen!

To answer the \"how\" question, I can only say what I did with my kids. We \"brainwashed\" them when they were young in our values and faith, taught them good habits, responsibility, gratitude etc, and encouraged them to develop skills and interests. We tried to help them understand their own strengths and weaknesses, inclinations and dislikes, personality traits, love languages, etc. We gradually eased off from being authoritative and directive to being advisors and mentors over the years. We hope they will always regard us as mentors, but my younger girl is no longer ours to control. And we try to relinquish control as much as possible for the older one, though it's a slow process.

[bbbay]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2130920\" time=\"1710817236\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2130920 time=1710817236 user_id=195250]
要逃避甚麽?? :?[/quote]

极端的例子：

有些人因为害怕独自生活而留在不健康的婚姻中。有些人因为过去的一段不愉快的关系而避免进入新的感情生活。

两头不着岸。