How do you get a 4 year old to do homework?

[smurf]

Hey Sun,


very well said.

[Aaronmom]

Thank you all so much for your very thoughtful replies. My son is not (err I don’t really think so) ADD (attention deficit disorder) but he is very very playful and sporty. Deep inside me, I feel something is not right too to "force"him to do homework. But then again, I thought we need to "start" somewhere right? I feel that if he is given his choice, he will never learn!!! I think I might need to have a talk with his teacher and see what she says. Apparently, she is able to "make" him do it at school??? By the way, I am actually not in Singapore, I am in USA. We can be kiasu here too.

Sigh…
Ok I will concentrate on other more fun things. Thank you everyone again! I really appreciate your insights.

[jedamum]

Sun_2010:

The idea is to enjoy the activity not master it. If you are in the process not enjoying it, feeling the kids is doing a bad job, then believe me kids can feel it and know they dont meet ur expectations and so will also hate it or worse will have a low selfesteem.

agree.
my 4yo has name writing homework every friday (1 line only). i don't expect him to write perfectly. i draw lines and dots to guide him. i gave him a start for each letter that he traced nicely (yes, i tend to draw/remark on sch homework my way, even for ds1's). when he does not want to write anymore, i remove the paper and try again at a latter time.

his teachers had feedback that his colouring is horrendous; i have not done anything for this yet cos how to make him colour if he does not like to? de ja vu, cos ds1 did not like colouring when he was a toddler and he turn out fine too, save for some very untidy handwriting. :roll:

[jedamum]

Aaronmom:

Hello all,

My 4 year old does not have alot of homework but once a week teacher will send home a few pages of writing to do at home. I cannot for the life of me get him to do it. He hates writing letters or numbers repeatedly. I don't want to start screaming and timing him out for not doing homework at 4!!!!!!! Any insights anyone???? HELP.

Sandra

another few points,
your boy 'hates' writing letters or numbers repeatedly cos it is boring? cos he can't write? cos you erase his ugly handwriting everytime he writes out of line?
my boy does not like to write more than once for any letters or numbers; so i break it up into smaller parts for him to do; i close one eye for neatness.
start a system for doing homework; i have done a variety for ds1 when he was a toddler and am doing the same for ds2; when a certain task is done, he gets a stamp to affix somewhere; or he get to play maze/activity books. is this the first time your boy is doing work? if so, give him some time to settle into seatwork. try to do daily seatwork in the form of activity booklets; 10min is suffice cos the gist is to get the kid to sit down and do some work.
MHO.

[jingle_ding]

okay, this can be really headache sometimes. I faced it for my child as well. Tell her to do her homework, it will never get into her head. faint And give excuses this and that. Sometimes reward may help. Sometimes scolding help. Lol.

[dimsum]

My DS (4yo) hates to do repetivite writings too. Since he’s not schooling now, it’s not of an issue. But I have been wondering, how will he learn how to write the chinese characters if he doesn’t do repetitive writings? Able to read and recognise the characters doesn’t mean he can write.

[Twins]

Aaronmom:

Hello all,

My 4 year old does not have alot of homework but once a week teacher will send home a few pages of writing to do at home. I cannot for the life of me get him to do it. He hates writing letters or numbers repeatedly. I don't want to start screaming and timing him out for not doing homework at 4!!!!!!! Any insights anyone???? HELP.

Sandra

My first reaction when I first read your post is \"I'm Horrified!\" A few pages of homework - gosh! Don't you sympathise with your child?
Do you really want to put him through this? Can it not wait for another year to have this laborious/mundane/boring way of learning introduced, where he's probably of a more appropriate age to understand why this may be necessary?

And yes, I will \"throw away the homework \" and question the teacher/principal's intent in the quantity of work for a mere 4 year old!!!

Perhaps this homework, if really needs to be done, can be classroom work instead. The \"peer pressure\" may well make a difference for your son to get the writing done.

[Aaronmom]

I talked to his teacher and she made me feel worse. She said that Aaron and 3 other children have this "problem". So this is a class of like 20 children and only a few have this problem so I get this is abnormal behavior? The other children would do their work happily?? And then she said that usually its because the parents are lax at home. LAX??? Every time I ask him to do homework, I am prepared to have a war started, crying screaming… I really can’t do it anymore!! I feel he is starting to act out. And this teacher also told me that when I talk to my son I need to make sure he looks me in the eye… that is just killing him. I mean if someone is disciplining you, can you comfortably look them in the eye?? He hates that and he is really very upset. My son is usually very happy go lucky but this two things "make him LOOK into your eyes" and "homework" has made our relationship HORRIBLE. I have never felt like this about my child. On the other hand, he loves this teacher but I HATE HER!!!

[mrswongtuition]

Aaronmummy, where do you stay? Maybe getting someone else to handle the homework part would be better.

[gerberadaisy]

Yes, I agree with mrswongtuition. Even though it is always said that parents are the kid’s best teachers, but sometimes, if teaching our own kids is giving both parties so much stress, it could be more effective if we engage someone else to do the teaching. I know of many parents who would rather give tuition to other kids and then engage a tuition teacher to teach their own kids, and they find this arrangement very effective.