How do you get a 4 year old to do homework?

[hquek]

hi aaronmum,


My kids do have a couple of pages each week to do. For the younger one (3 going 4), I will have to sit by him and work with him. He’s not very patient type and will start complaining hand pain what pain. I take it as something we have to go through.

In a sense I’m lucky in that he has an older brother he sees doing homework, so he knows it’s a part of life; and he doesn’t throw major tantrums. When he does complain of tiredness, I’ll just stop for the day and move on to do other things. If there are a lot, I may only give him a bit for today and save others for later.

But I’ll try to have the work completed early, so there won’t be last minute rush.

[tamarind]

Aaronmom:

I talked to his teacher and she made me feel worse. She said that Aaron and 3 other children have this \"problem\". So this is a class of like 20 children and only a few have this problem so I get this is abnormal behavior? The other children would do their work happily?? And then she said that usually its because the parents are lax at home. LAX???? Every time I ask him to do homework, I am prepared to have a war started, crying screaming..... I really can't do it anymore!! I feel he is starting to act out. And this teacher also told me that when I talk to my son I need to make sure he looks me in the eye.... that is just killing him. I mean if someone is disciplining you, can you comfortably look them in the eye?? He hates that and he is really very upset. My son is usually very happy go lucky but this two things \"make him LOOK into your eyes\" and \"homework\" has made our relationship HORRIBLE. I have never felt like this about my child. On the other hand, he loves this teacher but I HATE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That means other parents scream even louder, and use the cane to beat their 4 year old into doing homework

Don't worry. I did not do all that when my boy was 4 years old. In fact, I did not ask him to do any homework or assessment books at that age. He spent almost all his time playing before K2, I only taught him to read for a short time everyday.

I only start to assign homework this year, he is now 6 years old. Now he has no problem finishing his homework, and he even does more pages of writing whenever he feels like it. He is already well prepared for P1 since the beginning of this year.

You don't have to the same thing like other parents do.

Remember that the most important thing is to develop a love for learning. You don't want to continue screaming at your child for the next 20 years (until he graduates from university).

As for looking into his eyes, I do think that it is important. However, I don't scream at my boy and make him look into my eyes at the same time. I hold his face, ask him to look into my eyes, and talk to him in a very cool and calm tone, repeating 5 times if necessary. Otherwise he will not remember anything that I said.

[tamarind]

dimsum:

My DS (4yo) hates to do repetivite writings too. Since he's not schooling now, it's not of an issue. But I have been wondering, how will he learn how to write the chinese characters if he doesn't do repetitive writings? Able to read and recognise the characters doesn't mean he can write.

dimsum,
It is definitely not too late to start writing at 6 years old.

For Chinese characters, remember that most words are made up of 偏旁, 部首 and the simple characters as the building blocks. Kids can start by practicing to write these simple characters. When learning to write more complex words, tell them to join the building blocks to make a word.

Many parents make the mistake of making their kids write as many Chinese words as possible by remembering the strokes. The fact is that a child may not even remember the word after practicing for many times. What's worst is that this may make the child dislike learning Chinese.

It is more important to teach a child to recognize the words, and to read as many story books as possible. Kids have the ability to take a \"photograph\" of each word and store it in their memory. When they need to write the word, they just pull up the \"file\" in the brain and view it like a powerpoint slide In fact, that is how I remember all those Chinese words.

One day my boy surprised me by showing me that he can write the word 我. I have never let him practice writing it before. I think he has the photograph of the word saved in his memory because he read it many times before

[oscarsem]

why not start with writing by doing some drawings to form animals? Make it interesting.


But i do know some schools do emphasis writing for 4 year old child. Is really a torture to them

[dimsum]

tamarind:

dimsum,
It is definitely not too late to start writing at 6 years old.

.....Kids can start by practicing to write these simple characters.

Thanks for your advice, Tamarind. You will see my SOS in this forum if he still refuses to do chinese writing by end of K1! For english words and numbers, he's ok. Learnt how to write at 3yo.

Perhaps when he goes to school, peer influence and teacher can motivate him.

[Aaronmom]

Thank you all again for your very comforting advice. To "Twins" mom, do you know that the so call homework the teacher gave him is EXACTLY what they are gona do in class!!! That’s what so puzzling to me?! So I have to chase him around and cause world war 3 with him to do a few pages of repetitive writings that he is gona AGAIN do it the following days in classroom! She said they need REPETITIVE practice. Anyways, the last straw for me was when I drop my son in class one morning and heard her say to the children (she is really saying to me) "Children, did you do your homework? If not, there is no recess time." You see, I obviously hasn’t been handing in homework. At that point, i decided to change school. I don’t know if montessori is popular in singapore but i found one that i quite like and I will transfer him this coming monday. I am so glad they have a little swimming pool too so i will tell him i want him to go to the swimming school. I can only pray that he likes the new school otherwise "sway sway" have to go back to this one coz he LOVES his teacher and class. sigh… Am slightly worried about academics and him not able to adapt when he goes Primary one to the real world since montessori method is very "go with the child’s flow". However, bottomline is I want a happy, confident and interested in learning child rather than he knows how to spell, read and write stupid letters by 5 years old.

[Sun_2010]

Aaronmom:

Thank you all again for your very comforting advice. To \"Twins\" mom, do you know that the so call homework the teacher gave him is EXACTLY what they are gona do in class!!!!!!! That's what so puzzling to me?! So I have to chase him around and cause world war 3 with him to do a few pages of repetitive writings that he is gona AGAIN do it the following days in classroom! She said they need REPETITIVE practice. Anyways, the last straw for me was when I drop my son in class one morning and heard her say to the children (she is really saying to me) \"Children, did you do your homework? If not, there is no recess time.\" You see, I obviously hasn't been handing in homework. At that point, i decided to change school. I don't know if montessori is popular in singapore but i found one that i quite like and I will transfer him this coming monday. I am so glad they have a little swimming pool too so i will tell him i want him to go to the swimming school. I can only pray that he likes the new school otherwise \"sway sway\" have to go back to this one coz he LOVES his teacher and class. sigh................ Am slightly worried about academics and him not able to adapt when he goes Primary one to the real world since montessori method is very \"go with the child's flow\". However, bottomline is I want a happy, confident and interested in learning child rather than he knows how to spell, read and write stupid letters by 5 years old.

My opinion is this is one decision that you will not regret.
Montessori does really teach some life skills along with academics and lets them grow without being made to feel they r not good enough as others.

Yes , we need kids who are happy and confidant , next 15-20 years they are going to learn, let them enjoy the process...

[corneyAmber]

Hi Aaronmom,


My DS is 6 and DD is 4, both with very different character. DS doesn’t mind a little pushing in getting homework done, and quite like doing homework. But DS will never let you push her to do anything. If she doesn’t like something, no form of motivation works.

Like your son, my DD started out hating to write a full page of letters, compared to DS who could write them at 2 yrs old. I used to feel angry over DD’s ‘attitude’, and eventually learned that THEY ARE JUST DIFFERENT. After a few failed attempts, I chucked those workbooks aside.

One day, we came across a set of Kumon letter cards at Popular, one that you can use as flashcards and for writing with a white-board marker. I asked if she would like to try practicing on those and she agreed. That was the starting point of letter-writing for her. Faced with only ONE letter to tackle at a time, she didn’t see how much she’s actually writing. She eventually overcame her resistance and is now able to cope with her homework of letter-writing. METHOD OF LEARNING MATTERS.

I used to bring the set of cards with me to occupy her boredom when we were traveling, and during those long banquets. Change of learning environment matters.

I also tried not to be too fussy over her strokes and allowed her time to make mistakes. She has improved over time - although still refusing to write them the conventional way sometimes.

[cheehoe]

Aaronmom:

Hello all,

My 4 year old does not have alot of homework but once a week teacher will send home a few pages of writing to do at home. I cannot for the life of me get him to do it. He hates writing letters or numbers repeatedly. I don't want to start screaming and timing him out for not doing homework at 4!!!!!!! Any insights anyone???? HELP.

Sandra

My wife and I have no problem getting my kids to do their homework. We sit with them (at least one of us) and do our work while they are doing theirs. We also give attention to them when they ask question or praise them if they write the letters properly. We do not penalise them for errors but correct them on the spot. We also give incentives such as going to play room after they finish their homework.

You may test out some of the methods we used.

[jedamum]

jedamum:

his teachers had feedback that his colouring is horrendous; i have not done anything for this yet cos how to make him colour if he does not like to? de ja vu, cos ds1 did not like colouring when he was a toddler and he turn out fine too, save for some very untidy handwriting. :roll:

Quick update...
my ds2 now can colour beautifully when he is in the mood! i found this very affordable 'sticker-colouring' book at Popular (managed to get 2 out of the 4 books in the same series; but since on, couldn't find the rest in the other Popular bookshops. :(); i used 'twisty' crayons for his colourings and sometimes writing assignment; he tried to write/colour as much so that he gets to twist the 'worn out' crayon tip to lengthen it
i am pressing on for doing daily colouring and writing (i bought the 'assessment books' that is fully coloured and a variety of others so that ds2 gets to choose what he wants to do) cos i blame myself for ds1's ugly handwriting (you see, i choose knowledge acquiring over practicing of motorskills when he was a preschooler; should have balanced out both! ). :stupid: