Any parents here ever felt pressurized by others?
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LKVM:
DittoRRMummy:
I would be super depressed if my children grow up feeling ashamed of me... I would have failed badly in imparting the important values in life
Yes very true
imagine we do so much or rather we think we have done so much then in the end like that one :stupid: -
Hi tamarind & daisyt,
I have the same thoughts as both of you too. I believe we should let them know about life and if they really want things, they should work hard for it. Understanding poverty is good too, they will appreciate what they have now.
I think my friend just feel inferior? Worried that one day her children will feel it that way.daisyt:
I have the same thinking as tamarind.tamarind:
[quote=\"i3mum\"]Just to ask anyone, if you are from a \"normal-doing\" family (stays in HDB flat, doesn't own a car, no maid) and you send your child to a good/elite school where most of the children come from rich families, do you think your child will feel pressurized?
I got a friend who keeps saying that she will not send her children to those elite school & prefers to send them to neighbourhood schools because she doesn't want her children to feel \"pressurized\". And she also commented that her kids will eventually \"sense\" it as they grow older.
What are your views?
Personally, I feel that it is difficult for a 7 year old child to understand why his friends can go to Japan,USA, etc for holidays, but he can only go to Kuala Lumpur. He will feel unhappy, unless he is be very matured, but how many matured kids are there ?
If your child is very matured and knows that there is no point comparing, then it is fine to send to an elite school.
I want my kids to understand that there are rich and poor people in the world. I make it a point to find books about children living in extreme poverty and starvation, and I let my kids read these books so that they don't take what they have for granted.
Other parents may not share the same opinions. So there is really no right or wrong, it is all up to the parents.
Sometimes, I feel, its good to let the child has some disappointment. The urge of wanting but cannot afford. The feeling of others are better doing but we are not. Ultimately, its a lesson all have to learn, either young time at schooling or when at work. Its better to learn it early than when out to work, they would do all kinds of things to get what they crave for and want. Its also important to understand \"Life is unfair and things don't come easily\". When we are comparing with the better, our life seems unfair. But when we compare with the worse, who is fairer?[/quote] -
I also belong to the normal doing category too & my kids are in a elite pre-school currently. Sometime I do explain to my kids there are many rich people in her school etc & they have to learn to be contented.
daisyt:
I belongs to that normal doing category and my child was in this school with many rich families. This thought never come to my mind when I decided to put her there. Neither did I realised got such thing until when she was about P3. I overheard two kids comparing what type of cars their fathers had. Actually, everything was fine. A little comparasion here and there are unavoidable, just have to explain and make them understand, every family is different. -
Really? If I m the dad, i will be very upset.
mango:
remind me of this relative who got into the top boy sec school but refused to let his hawker father drive him to school in his pickup. -
LKVM:
Again u remember the add which was aired someitme back where the dad was the only parent to the girl who used to drop the girl on cycle then when girl gets lotsa money he still wanna go on cycle something like that :?[/quote]Yes I remember vaguely.
Dittoduriz:
[quote=\"LKVM\"]
Yes very true imagine we do so much or rather we think we have done so much then in the end like that one :stupid:
The father is a single parent. He bought his girl a pair of pretty shoes at the market, she was very happy. She wore it to a dance and it was worn out. He took it to \"shukey\" for repairs. One day when she was going to school, she saw him lying in his rattan chair napping. At the door, she saw that her pair of shoes were repaired and sitting pretty on the shoe rack.
Ah, Daddy's little girl.
I'm one also, very close to my Dad.
My father was a stay home Dad while my Mom worked.
One time, he became a relief taxi-driver to supplement our household income because my Mom was at the hospital. He drove me to school in his taxi, I loved it. It was because I got to spend time with him and that is valuable and irreplacable. -
Hi all,
I was from a primary school in a landed property area and was also surrounded by lots of rich kids. Some of them were more snobbish than the rest.
Most of my school mates made it to top sch. Of course I did not make it lah (T-score only 241, can't even made it to TKGS during my time
). Not b'cos I was not born with a silver spoon but rather I was pretty lazy in my sch days. 
Though I remember my envy for my best friend who is really rich, I still enjoyed my primary school years a lot. Though of humble background, I was active in games and had made lots of friends (the not snobbish ones) :lol:
Of course I did experience verbal abuse from some snobs in sch. :x But I had learnt to dealt with it over the years.
Maybe b'cos of these adverse conditions, I have learnt to be more tactful when dealing with people in my growing years.
So I don't think it's a bad thg to expose my kiddos in such environment. However, I won't purposely choose such sch lah. Parents being parents still prefer them to be in a more holistic environment mah. :lol: -
i3mum:
Toking about comparing... i heard from a fren that in a popular all-girl school in a rich area -- apparently the primary school girls actually compare which hospital they were born in -- and if it is Raffles Hospital -- it is high class - and if it is KK - then - no class....I also belong to the normal doing category too & my kids are in a elite pre-school currently. Sometime I do explain to my kids there are many rich people in her school etc & they have to learn to be contented.
daisyt:
I belongs to that normal doing category and my child was in this school with many rich families. This thought never come to my mind when I decided to put her there. Neither did I realised got such thing until when she was about P3. I overheard two kids comparing what type of cars their fathers had. Actually, everything was fine. A little comparasion here and there are unavoidable, just have to explain and make them understand, every family is different.
When i heard it, i was like -- err... my boys all KK kids leh!! Haha -- dont care lah -- but still kids been kids -- i think they might be 'hurt' -- but then hopefully boys dont compare such things!
In any case, will teach my kids how to retort back if he actually meet such situation. Hopefully he doesnt though..... -
verykiasu2010:
know of this girl, father owns a bicycle shop, so send her to school on bicycle
oh dear.. that is sad..RRMummy:
[quote=\"mango\"]
remind me of this relative who got into the top boy sec school but refused to let his hawker father drive him to school in his pickup.
now the girl also in a top IP school, and the father still fetches her in a van. what so wrong about it ?
be proud of your father !
even Jim Roger sends her daughter to school on a bicycle[/quote]When I went to RGPS on Mon to check out the registration situation, I saw a daddy drop off his daughter from his bike. I think it's pretty cool, at least it's environmentally friendly :love: -
Yup, precisely ...
commedian Hossan Leong expressed similar views recently ...
“Do they take the MRT? Do they take public transport? They don’t. They have no idea what’s going on. \"
I once had a casual conversation with an 'elite' scholar a little bit abt my work involving the post office
as dropoff points for office equipment repair. He snidely remarked when their printer spoils
they just buy new one. In my heart i was sad, that even tho he came from humble background, he'd become
out of touch with the common folks' lives ...insider:
The 'elite' and the 'commoners'...
I always think our gahment is made up of too many 'elitists' and the future team will even be more so.
If mostly 'elitists', how can they really understand what is real 人间疾苦？How to formulate policies which can benefit the poorer meaningfully? How not to tell people 'if got no bread to eat, then eat cake?\" How to get out from the ivory towers to look at social problems seriously???
I ever once argued with a high ranking ministry people with some absurd policy that they implemented coz the policy is only nice on paper but not practical and literally told her that she needs to get out from her ivory tower and come to the floor to understand the problem before formulating not effective policy and of course, got a round of bombardment from her in return...
Some of those 闭门造车 people can really get into your nerves...
Study until high high also no use... -
centraljava:
:rotflmao: about the printerYup, precisely ...
commedian Hossan Leong expressed similar views recently ...
“Do they take the MRT? Do they take public transport? They don’t. They have no idea what’s going on. \"
I once had a casual conversation with an 'elite' scholar a little bit abt my work involving the post office
as dropoff points for office equipment repair. He snidely remarked when their printer spoils
they just buy new one. In my heart i was sad, that even tho he came from humble background, he'd become
out of touch with the common folks' lives ...
do you know it is more expensive to buy the ink cartridges than to buy a new printer (with a set free ink cartridges) ? some more the new printer is of new model ..... if the ink cartridges is priced at not more than 20% of a new printer, if might be more useful to replace the cartridges ...... there is nothing elitist about it.
money talks or :moneyflies:
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