Any parents here ever felt pressurized by others?

[cantbearit2]

Lynn2:

No pressure for me.


As long as you follow your own child pace and be happy, there is no pressure at all.

The pressure comes in only when one is very bothered with what other is doing or saying.Just one cent of my thoughts.

Compeition is inevitable.Take it positively, at times, its healthy especially when we ourselve are slack a bit from time to time.

Hi Lynn2,

Sometimes it's not abt whether u are bothered or not. But rather annoying when other pple keep asking u on your child's progress and throwing u a look that says your child is not doing well. Quote u an eg.

One relative asked me if my DD can write short composition at age 4 (in front of my DD). When I reply her truthfully no, she continue babbling abt her nephew being able to do it. :x

Although my DD is not exceptionally bright but both DH and I feel that she is progressing well. Her childcare teacher also gave us quite positive feedback on her progress. We also felt that her love for reading and learning is more important.

Of course she shld b able to progress with her peers in the mainstream school next yr (when she is in P1). We are not expecting scholars. :lol:

IMHO, pressure is always there. How we handle pressure is somethg we are constantly learning.

[jtoh]

ksi:

It just occured to me....what if you are one parent that others feel pressured with simply because your kid is doing well....then how ah?


Interesting to know people on the other side too....

I think it depends on how the parent with the child who's doing better behaves. Even if your child is topping the school etc, you don't have to go around bragging. If you don't brag, no one will know the details and no one will feel pressurised by you. I know of parents whose children are exceedingly smart, topping the school, doing very well in Math Olympiads etc, who never bring up the subject. And when asked, they just give a vague answer like she's doing okay. In fact, this particular parent dislikes it when people ask her how her child did because she doesn't like the attention.

[jtoh]

duriz:

MMM:

Told my only son that next time, daddy will also do that to his potential girlfriends.

This reminds me of the first time DH brought me home to meet his parents. When DH went to get me a drink and left me alone with PILs: MIL asked do I cook (yes); do I like to clean (yes); do I love children (yes).

When DH was driving me home, he asked me what we talked about. I told him his Mom was interviewing for a maid :faint:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[jtoh]

I used to have this mother calling me all the time to brag about how well her dd was doing, how she was being selected for this, that and the other, how she was topping the standard in this subject, that subject. Every time I talked to her I felt stressed.


If that was not enough, she started bragging about how her son was doing so well, how he was a participant on Singapore's Brainiest Kid years ago, and how he could have beaten the eventual champion but didn't because the button on his keyboard jammed. Aiyoh!! Can you imagine she was still trying to justify why her son didn't win Singapore's Brainiest Kid 10 years later? Personally, if your child is doing well, you don't need to brag.

Anyway, I now steer clear of this woman because all she does is brag and put down everyone's else's child. I'm a lot happier.

[cantbearit2]

jtoh:

I used to have this mother calling me all the time to brag about how well her dd was doing, how she was being selected for this, that and the other, how she was topping the standard in this subject, that subject. Every time I talked to her I felt stressed.


If that was not enough, she started bragging about how her son was doing so well, how he was a participant on Singapore's Brainiest Kid years ago, and how he could have beaten the eventual champion but didn't because the button on his keyboard jammed. Aiyoh!! Can you imagine she was still trying to justify why her son didn't win Singapore's Brainiest Kid 10 years later? Personally, if your child is doing well, you don't need to brag.

Anyway, I now steer clear of this woman because all she does is brag and put down everyone's else's child. I'm a lot happier.

Hello Jtoh,

That was one irritating woman lor. :salute:

But I can't steer clear of my relative leh..... :?:

[jtoh]

cantbearit2:

jtoh:

I used to have this mother calling me all the time to brag about how well her dd was doing, how she was being selected for this, that and the other, how she was topping the standard in this subject, that subject. Every time I talked to her I felt stressed.


If that was not enough, she started bragging about how her son was doing so well, how he was a participant on Singapore's Brainiest Kid years ago, and how he could have beaten the eventual champion but didn't because the button on his keyboard jammed. Aiyoh!! Can you imagine she was still trying to justify why her son didn't win Singapore's Brainiest Kid 10 years later? Personally, if your child is doing well, you don't need to brag.

Anyway, I now steer clear of this woman because all she does is brag and put down everyone's else's child. I'm a lot happier.

Hello Jtoh,

That was one irritating woman lor. :salute:

But I can't steer clear of my relative leh..... :?:

True. But you're handling it well, changing the subject when your relatives bring it up.

[chrismei]

cantbearit2:

Lynn2:

No pressure for me.


As long as you follow your own child pace and be happy, there is no pressure at all.

The pressure comes in only when one is very bothered with what other is doing or saying.Just one cent of my thoughts.

Compeition is inevitable.Take it positively, at times, its healthy especially when we ourselve are slack a bit from time to time.

Hi Lynn2,

Sometimes it's not abt whether u are bothered or not. But rather annoying when other pple keep asking u on your child's progress and throwing u a look that says your child is not doing well. Quote u an eg.

One relative asked me if my DD can write short composition at age 4 (in front of my DD). When I reply her truthfully no, she continue babbling abt her nephew being able to do it. :x

Although my DD is not exceptionally bright but both DH and I feel that she is progressing well. Her childcare teacher also gave us quite positive feedback on her progress. We also felt that her love for reading and learning is more important.

Of course she shld b able to progress with her peers in the mainstream school next yr (when she is in P1). We are not expecting scholars. :lol:

IMHO, pressure is always there. How we handle pressure is somethg we are constantly learning.

4 years old able to write compo? born in 06? My friend asked if DD(going to be 4 yrs old) can read as her DD (2yrs 11 mths) to be K2 standard assessed by a centre n no other centres will accept her DD. How did she manage to do it? My friend self taught her by breaking words not phonics everyday from 8p.m to 10pm...n her DD will be rewarded with toys, outings if she can achieved her mission such as reading 4 storybooks everyday...She said it was tough initially but after implemented the system, it worked...i did not follow her method cos tot that it is not quite right as children should be self-motivated if possible.....

[corneyAmber]

jtoh:

ksi:

It just occured to me....what if you are one parent that others feel pressured with simply because your kid is doing well....then how ah?


Interesting to know people on the other side too....

I think it depends on how the parent with the child who's doing better behaves. Even if your child is topping the school etc, you don't have to go around bragging. If you don't brag, no one will know the details and no one will feel pressurised by you. I know of parents whose children are exceedingly smart, topping the school, doing very well in Math Olympiads etc, who never bring up the subject. And when asked, they just give a vague answer like she's doing okay. In fact, this particular parent dislikes it when people ask her how her child did because she doesn't like the attention.

Thanks for sharing.

[sleepy]

ksi:

It just occured to me....what if you are one parent that others feel pressured with simply because your kid is doing well....then how ah?


Interesting to know people on the other side too....

I posted on page 4. Nowsaday, I only shared with immediate family members. My brothers do not have kids in the same age group, should not feel any pressure. In fact they are quite amused.

jtoh:

I think it depends on how the parent with the child who's doing better behaves. Even if your child is topping the school etc, you don't have to go around bragging. If you don't brag, no one will know the details and no one will feel pressurised by you. I know of parents whose children are exceedingly smart, topping the school, doing very well in Math Olympiads etc, who never bring up the subject. And when asked, they just give a vague answer like she's doing okay. In fact, this particular parent dislikes it when people ask her how her child did because she doesn't like the attention.

The strangest incident is a mum from dd2's kindy can identify my dd1 and told her daughter my dd1's name :shock: Oh, I found out subsequently that mum is SIL's friend. However, I've not met her prior to that & I don't have the slightest clue how she managed to recognise dd1.

I have also received phone call from one of dd1's classmates mum asking how I coach my dd even though I've never met her. Somehow the kids talk among themselves.

[jtoh]

jtoh:

I think it depends on how the parent with the child who's doing better behaves. Even if your child is topping the school etc, you don't have to go around bragging. If you don't brag, no one will know the details and no one will feel pressurised by you. I know of parents whose children are exceedingly smart, topping the school, doing very well in Math Olympiads etc, who never bring up the subject. And when asked, they just give a vague answer like she's doing okay. In fact, this particular parent dislikes it when people ask her how her child did because she doesn't like the attention.

The strangest incident is a mum from dd2's kindy can identify my dd1 and told her daughter my dd1's name :shock: Oh, I found out subsequently that mum is SIL's friend. However, I've not met her prior to that & I don't have the slightest clue how she managed to recognise dd1.

I have also received phone call from one of dd1's classmates mum asking how I coach my dd even though I've never met her. Somehow the kids talk among themselves.[/quote]

Hahaha! Kiasu mothers are very resourceful. I've had a mother I've never seen before come up to me in a shopping centre (not even in school) and ask me if so-and-so is my dd and how she managed to do well in her studies etc. She knew ALOT about my dd. And her daughter's not even in the same year!