All About Life Without Maids

[duriz]

cherrygal:

LKVM:

[quote=\"celtricia\"]though hb promise to help.. but he can be in his room watchin tv while i wash the dishes, feed the kids, etc.. damn pek chek..

Well it happens all the time... dunno wats the best solution is :stupid:

The best solution is to ask him to do specific tasks, not ask him to \"help\" (too vague for cavemen). I tell my hubby to \"carry baby\", \"wash dishes\", \"mop floor\" etc. I cook and do the laundry (coz he can't cook and can't sort). And I tell myself not to bother HOW he washes or mops. Otherwise he will tell me to do it myself...[/quote]I agree with both and probably more Moms out there.
I'm luckier, DH cooks.
But when its comes to housework, I have already briefed him to be more automatic and not let me get too crazy then \"explode\".
As we only have a PT maid come in weekday mornings, evenings and weekends are very hectic for me.
Now I have \"trained\" DH to come to me and ask:\"Honey, what do you need me to do now?\"
I will then give him specifics and yes, try not to be too fussy about how things get done or how clean/tidy/organized they are. So long as they get done.
Sometimes in order to give ourselves a break, we need to give others a break as well.

[cherrygal]

Hi everyone

I am currently a FTWM, mother to 2 kids (dd just 10mths old). Never had maids in my whole entire existence. My mom, who used to work full-time as well, just refuses to engage one as she has heard too many horror stories. Both my kids were looked after by my mom when they were babies. MIL refused to help. DS was sent to a CCC when he turned 20mths old. DD will be the same unless I don’t work. We currently live with my parents.

My typical day would be to cook dinner after rushing home from work, bathe, take over the baby, make baby sleep at 11pm…my bigger kid is seriously neglected. My mom is the superwoman. She washes the laundry in the morning, starts cooking porridge for my dd, carries dd around, cooks lunch for her and my dad, bathes dd, coaxes dd to nap, prepares the ingredients for dinner, all without a maid. My dad helps to carry dd occasionally.

That’s how we cope…just to share. Not much time for ourselves, but at least we don’t get maid problems.

Sometimes, I wonder why people who only have 1 kid need a FT maid. Perhaps they have had maids when they were kids and thus cannot live without one? I think I learnt how to be independent thanks to my maid-less childhood.

[duriz]

Hi cherrygal,


DH, DD and I stay with PILs.
Our PT maid comes in weekday mornings for 3 hours to clean the house and do laundry (wash and iron).
My MIL looks after DD.
Some mornings, my Mom comes over to help MIL and play with/feed/take care of DD.
In the evenings, DH comes home to cook.
When I get home, I do whatever remaining housework there is. I do not let the maid do anything that is related to DD. So I'm the busiest with DD's items e.g. preparing the ingredients her meal for the next day, wash and sterilize all her food utensils and bottles, clean her toys, wash/sort her laundry, express and store BM, feed and play with her, bath her, read her a bedtime story AND go to bed with her at 9pm, because I'm exhausted as well.
So you can imagine, it's non-stop action for me when I get home after work on a weekday and over the weekends when my eyes open after I'm awake.
I did not grow up with a maid. My Mom worked and my Daddy took care of my older brother and I

[cherrygal]

Hi Duriz

You are lucky that both MIL and Mom can help. Plus DH also can cook... you chose the rite hubby material lah... fortunately my dh can help by carrying the baby for long walks to free me up to do the housework.

My MIL would rather work so I have no choice but to bother my mom who is quite weak physically. It makes me feel bad and I always offered to get her a maid but she refuses.

My hubby's bro's wife doesn't even work full time and yet need a FT maid. So I was referring to her when I said I wonder why such people need maids... maybe she had had a maid since young and now can't even cook the porridge for her baby!

[duriz]

cherrygal:

My hubby's bro's wife doesn't even work full time and yet need a FT maid. So I was referring to her when I said I wonder why such people need maids... maybe she had had a maid since young and now can't even cook the porridge for her baby!

Thank you cherrygal, I know I'm very lucky. Your hubs v sweet also. Spend time with your children (on walks) and help you in his own special way.

FYI, my bro and SIL doesn't have any children and don't have a maid. But she sure can make water taste burnt

[MintyMin]

I guess like wat u ladies said, i haf to learn to be less fussy about the tasks DH completes… whh usually i will b quite particular abt cleanliness, tidiness etc…


Juz earlier tis week he was saying tat i gave myself too much stress as i cldn’t wait to get tings done, n every task i gave him haf to b done immediately… like washing milk bottles, water bottles, tidying up his ‘entertainment rm’ & washing the toilet…

But wat if it really isnt clean at all… will u do it ur own again or juz leave it as it is?

Sigh… Tml morning he’s going on biz trip till saturday noon… and i dread it as i haf to handle my 3 kids… lucky mum stays nearby to help out…

Frens has been tellin me i shld still get a maid, if not am tiring out myself… plus it seems tat i will haf no time to go out with frens, esp when DH is out on biz trip… how?

[kanyaramesh]

celtricia:

I guess like wat u ladies said, i haf to learn to be less fussy about the tasks DH completes.. whh usually i will b quite particular abt cleanliness, tidiness etc..


Juz earlier tis week he was saying tat i gave myself too much stress as i cldn't wait to get tings done, n every task i gave him haf to b done immediately.. like washing milk bottles, water bottles, tidying up his 'entertainment rm' & washing the toilet..

But wat if it really isnt clean at all.. will u do it ur own again or juz leave it as it is?

Sigh.. Tml morning he's going on biz trip till saturday noon.. and i dread it as i haf to handle my 3 kids.. lucky mum stays nearby to help out..

Frens has been tellin me i shld still get a maid, if not am tiring out myself.. plus it seems tat i will haf no time to go out with frens, esp when DH is out on biz trip.. how?

Dear Celtricia

I am sending off my maid tmrw and am very happy about it. For the past 7 months i have put up with slack work, rudeness, black face when told to do some task and forgetfulness. For the past 7 months i have been getting up early to make breakfast and bathe and get my son ready for school and then go off to work. Maid does not even cook or look after the child which is done by my MIL who lives next door to me. Despite having very little to do she cannot perform. My Maid had her own room, bathroom, cupboard and TV. But she said that she was not\"happy\" bec she does not like to be scolded or have her work critisised.

I have had it with maids. I am getting a part-timer do come twice a week to clean and i will do my own laundry. Thank god my son will looked after by my in-laws. I have gone maidless before and found it very liberating. Also save a lot of money!!

Dont worry it will work out well. You are lucky to have your mom help you. All the best!!

Cheers!! :celebrate:

[MintyMin]

kanyaramesh:

celtricia:

I guess like wat u ladies said, i haf to learn to be less fussy about the tasks DH completes.. whh usually i will b quite particular abt cleanliness, tidiness etc..


Juz earlier tis week he was saying tat i gave myself too much stress as i cldn't wait to get tings done, n every task i gave him haf to b done immediately.. like washing milk bottles, water bottles, tidying up his 'entertainment rm' & washing the toilet..

But wat if it really isnt clean at all.. will u do it ur own again or juz leave it as it is?

Sigh.. Tml morning he's going on biz trip till saturday noon.. and i dread it as i haf to handle my 3 kids.. lucky mum stays nearby to help out..

Frens has been tellin me i shld still get a maid, if not am tiring out myself.. plus it seems tat i will haf no time to go out with frens, esp when DH is out on biz trip.. how?

Dear Celtricia

I am sending off my maid tmrw and am very happy about it. For the past 7 months i have put up with slack work, rudeness, black face when told to do some task and forgetfulness. For the past 7 months i have been getting up early to make breakfast and bathe and get my son ready for school and then go off to work. Maid does not even cook or look after the child which is done by my MIL who lives next door to me. Despite having very little to do she cannot perform. My Maid had her own room, bathroom, cupboard and TV. But she said that she was not\"happy\" bec she does not like to be scolded or have her work critisised.

I have had it with maids. I am getting a part-timer do come twice a week to clean and i will do my own laundry. Thank god my son will looked after by my in-laws. I have gone maidless before and found it very liberating. Also save a lot of money!!

Dont worry it will work out well. You are lucky to have your mom help you. All the best!!

Cheers!! :celebrate:

Hi kanyaramesh,

Thanks for your kind words.

Mum only help when DH is not around.. when DH ard, she will only come by to cook at my hse, but i haf to do all the washing..

I do not mind not having a maid, if i only haf 1 kid and stay in a small flat.. but nw.. i haf 3 active young kids, n 1 big hse.. it is killing me to haf to do all tings my own wif minimal help from DH.. I jus hope i will have energy sufficient for me to last till the kids are old enuff to look after themselves..

[kchua05.06803yahoo.06803com.06803sg]

Hi ladies,


Would anyone be kind enough to recommend me a part time maid which can come to West side, i am staying at Yew Tee. can email me at [email protected].

Thanks
KC

[cherrygal]

celtricia:

I do not mind not having a maid, if i only haf 1 kid and stay in a small flat.. but nw.. i haf 3 active young kids, n 1 big hse.. it is killing me to haf to do all tings my own wif minimal help from DH.. I jus hope i will have energy sufficient for me to last till the kids are old enuff to look after themselves..

Yes, if 1 kid...can be FTWM and no need maid. If 2 kids, with mom's help, also no need maid. If 3 kids... well, better have at least a part-time maid to do cleaning esp if you have a big house. Some of my frens who work have 2 FT maids to help as they have 3 kids. So I salute you for surviving this long without a maid!

As for me, I put my 1st kid in full time Childcare while I worked. Now, with 2nd kid and mom getting older and weaker, I have to quit soon and take over. Looking forward with mixed feelings towards being SAHM next year!