Temper Tantrums

[clueless_mother]

Dear Edunloaded,

I empathize with you. This terrible 2s and 3s is a passing phase. Just bear with it. Nothing much you can do. My kid’s paediatrician say they just want attention at this age. I know how embarrassing it can be in public. So i usu try to stay within jurong area. Should they misbehave i head straight for home. I chose to ignore such behaviour mostly. The key here is perseverance. Kids these days are smart and always pushing boundaries. Set your boundaries and don’t give in to their unreasonable demands. Good luck in parenting.

[mrswongtuition]

My hubs always tell my boy to stop crying first & tell us nicely. 90% of the time, we will agree. 10% - we will just explain to him or offer something else (distraction).


So far he still whines but once we tell him to stop, he will.

[edunloaded]

Thanks for all your advice


Glad to know that I am not alone in this journey

[Joanne_31]

I have the same problem with my 20mth gal. She has been throwing temper around for the past few days. Dont want to sit in the car seat, dont want to drink milk, dont want to… I am trying to speak to her nicely and ask her to point out/tell us what she wants but she is still too small to understand the concept. She will just cry non-stop and roll on the sofa/floor. Most of the time i gave up and switch on the TV to distract her. Wonder if that is a good method to use.

[bubblesnsplashes]

There is an article on handling temper tantrum on sunday lifestyle yesterday 29th Aug tittled "Ignore them, for crying out loud".


In summary, general public frown on kids throwing tantrums and parents ignoring them or not pacifying them in the public. However, the experts contacted by lifestyle were unanimous in saying that parents should ignore any hysterical crying fits thrown by their children, provided their safety is not compromised.

Occasionally, I do have students who behaved so. They will scream, yell and fight till the whole swimming pool can hear them when they do not get their ways. It is not easy to be firm and ignore them till they cool down as the whole population at the pool seems to be watching you. Most coaches will give in so that there will not be a scene. However, I do agree with the article and actually will refuse to give in no matter how loud they scream till they calm now. It is not easy to do so under the stares of lots of people. Furthermore, there will be some people who don’t understand and are probably thinking that this is a monster coach who is torturing the kid. (Might be bad for business too if they have this impression)

The thing is if you give him once, he will learn that throwing tantrum actually works in getting what he want. The next time you try to stop him, he will do it even more violently and longer till you cannot bear it. Then as time go by, you will not be able to handle him.

After the ignorance and "hard approach", I think should follow up with talking and "soft approach" so that he will understand why you are doing this and most kids will actually improve. So for the long term benefits, do bear with it for the time being.

[Swit Cuppies]

Is ignorance really the best way out?

My kid will cry and throw tantrum more if I ignore him,
I just dunt care if people stares at us.
But I just can tolerate the screaming, whining and crying... :stupid:

[smurf]

It’s the best way out, if you do not wish to use violent (beating, cane). It takes time. Lots of time. And sometimes, even few years…but it will definitely lessen as time goes by.

[Swit Cuppies]

ic…If its at home I can just try to ignore him.

But imagine if its at a public place.
Its really challenging leh…

[Swit Cuppies]

And btw how do all of handle your kids when you go on a holiday?

Do they give you a hard time overseas?

[autumnbronze]

Swit Cuppies:

And btw how do all of handle your kids when you go on a holiday?

Do they give you a hard time overseas?

DS was slightly over 30 months when we brought him to Shanghai.

This was not his first trip overseas, but the first in which he kinda gave a hard time esp when it came to changing and showering. I suppose it was the terrible 2s stage. What I used to do was to pretend to brush my hair and tell him that I was going to go out whether he wanted to or not. I even went to the extent of putting on my shoes .... that would get him scrambling towards me in a jiffy. The use of 'reverse psychology' seemed to work with him.

On the other hand, it could probably also due to change of routine and environment. So best to psych him some time before your trip. Show him pix of the hotel in which you'll be staying in or places where you'd be going to and talk to him too. I usu show DS pix available in the hotel website as well as places of interests. Read to him books on travel ie how its like travelling on a plane, what to expect etc ... Also bring along some of his fav things like toys, clothes, CDs etc ... so that it serves as a form of comfort zone, if you know what I mean.

So generally, end result is that DS ends up being very fascinated when we are on an overseas trip because there are so many new things to experience and do.

Whatever it is, as mentioned by some of our 'seasoned' forummers here - do not give in to them.

Set simple and firm ground rules that they can follow. Start young, and life will be easier for you when they get older

Hope this helps