In-law problems?

[buds]

I'm the one sensitive babe.. not him. :lol:

While that worked on me aptly, it won't work on him.

[RRMummy]

haiz... wonder what can knock some senses into him... :idea:

[buds]

Dunno if this might work.. :clubmyself:


:rotflmao:

[RRMummy]

buds:

Dunno if this might work.. :clubmyself:


:rotflmao:

okay, tell me where and when he can be whacked, i wanna go 'clubbing'... :rubhands:

[RRMummy]

LKVM:

RRMummy:

\"The Winner Takes it All\". Althou it's abt the losing her husband coz of adultery, I still find the words aptly describes the hurt of a 'betrayal'...

RRMummy the lyrics are soooooooo nice :love:

U like too?

The song was written at the point the singer found out abt her dumb husband's (also in the ABBA group) betrayal...you could really feel her hurt and anguish..always makes me cry when i hear it..

I'm lousy with words, and I always found certain songs could put those feelings I feel into words very aptly.. so some follow me through thick and thin.. :love:

[autumnbronze]

LKVM:

hapydino:

[quote=\"tree nymph\"]actually i think with daughter or no daughter, in general MILs will not love their DILs like their own daughter lah. DILs are the ones plotting and instigating against them so as to take away their precious sons!

quite true oso.. but i oso hear some MIL really love the son and dil leh.. 爱屋及乌..

Most of the MIL will love their son mah but DIL errrrrrrrrr not too many :P[/quote]Just want to share a different perspective of the MIL issue .....

I don't know whether an MIL can ever truly love her DIL like her own daughter, but I do know that because they know that both they and the DIL love their son, hence they will be nice to their DIL.

My MIL also ran the household, taking care of her three boys. They hold her in high regard because she worked like mad, saving every penny to the point of stinging on herself to ensure they were well-provided for. She is not a bad or vindictive person. In fact, sad to say, she has done A LOT more for me than my own mom has in the 10 yrs that I have been married to DH. However, we both have VERY different perceptions of marriage as well as parenting, and that is where sometimes the conflict comes in. So, when DS is in her house, and if DH is not there, I let her be, in handling my DS and later explain to DS that what is allowed there is not allowed at home or in general on a frequent basis eg eating of sweets. I refrain from interfering, no matter how difficult it is sometimes, because I do not want my DS to be influenced from any negative vibes, as well as the fact that it is their house and I respect that. If DH is there, then I will request him to intervene.

I know she also cannot understand why do I have to travel with DH on his biz trips and leave DS behind with her (via her actions). Funnily, DH is the one who requests that I come with him. Not that she does not want to take care of him, but she is the sort of mother who put her life on hold to take care of her sons, and I think she kinda expects me to do the same.

Actually, I think what she really lacks is tact. She's been very untactful with some of her remarks over the years and I've had to bite my tongue. At least DH provides a listening ear. I attribute it to the fact that she does not have any daughters. The only time I really could not tahan her was when after DS was born and bcuz she had never breastfed, so she could not understand that aspect of motherhood and literally 'harassed' me. I had to beg my DH to talk to her and get her to lay off. Thank goodness he attended the pre-natal classes with me and had some idea about the benefits of breastfeeding.

Now, as I see my DS getting older year by year, I sometimes remind myself and my DH that I must never ever be a typical MIL. It is easier said than done. Its like a CEO giving up his job to retire or downgrading himself to the job of a taxi-driver (no offence intended). The insecurities that they feel in the loss/change of their jobs is one reason. So yeah, when MIL is in one of her moods, I just remind that to myself. Maybe I can be understanding because she has never been deliberately nasty to me. And most importantly, no matter how much I do not agree with most of her ways in bringing up my DS, I am assured that she truly does love him and will do anything for him. At least that is one common thread that we share.

So in essence, I can understand why MILs can never treat their DILs as daughters and can even be overprotective with regards to their married son. But that said, I strongly feel that that doesn't give them any teeny weeny bit of right to be nasty and unreasonable to their DILs. Weren't they a DIL too, once?? Funny how their memory fails when it comes to this phase of their life :roll: :roll:

So ladies, after reading some of your posts here, I really sympathize with you and at the same time, :salute: at the fact that you have overcome/are trying to overcome your 'situation' to the best of your abilities.

[autumnbronze]

LKVM:

RRMummy:

\"The Winner Takes it All\". Althou it's abt the losing her husband coz of adultery, I still find the words aptly describes the hurt of a 'betrayal'...

RRMummy the lyrics are soooooooo nice :love:

From ABBA ....

[auntieM]

Dear dear buds.. :hugs: and more :hugs:.. ...

Will hard for you.. be strong!

[auntieM]

LKVM:

RRMummy:

[quote=\"buds\"]Dunno if this might work.. :clubmyself:


:rotflmao:

okay, tell me where and when he can be whacked, i wanna go 'clubbing'... :rubhands:

I too can join u lah :rubhands:[/quote]Got action count me the 'lau Ah Lian' in hor :nunchuk:

[qms]

buds:

I truly pray that hubs will do us right... for once.

:xedfingers: