Teachers' Violence

[DesertWind]

verykiasu2010:

LOL ! now your turn to require a behavioural therapist ! solli, don't meant to rub salt into the wound :siam:

Bah!

[Brenda10]

During the chat, dd told me that her form teacher would punish anyone who do not do homework in time or submit incomplete. The pupil has to stand near the classroom door and complete the work before back to the seat. Heard it is very effective and after 1- 2 cases in the beginning of the years now everyone is very 乖。

[jasmineong]

hquek:

I think I also tough love. I would want to know what my kid did wrong and address it - teacher part can handle separately.


Of course, if teacher use kids as shooting target, it's not good. But then what I get out of the article is that the parents are condoning what the boy did. If he's sleepy becos he was nursing his sick grandparent (going very cantonese drama here) or doing homework becos there is way too much, then of course, can understand and condone (and find way out). If he's sleepy becos he play too much and refuse to go to bed on time, then parents should say you good boy and bad bad teacher?

There are both sides to the coin. While parents should support the child, I think it's more important to prepare them for society.

Hi hquek,

I did not read the rest of the threads..but what you said here got my attention. It is very true like what you said about needing to prepare the children for society..I have a cousin whose parents always fought his fights for him..if he got scolded too harshly, they would march to the school and talk to the teacher and even principal. Then later as he grew older, everywhere he went, there was always some prob- army life very tough, how can they talk like this to me...etc etc. Then graduated, when on to become jc teacher..then complain about school system and the students etc etc..parents told him he should do other things since he is so smart can do anything. In the end, he quit and for about half a year ..he is not doing anything..just living off parents and focusing on planning for a 2 month trip to europe!!! After tt, he wants to take up painting and still not get a job..aiyo already nearly 30!

I look at him and think he is actually really smart but he cannot tahan probs or stress and because his parents always take his side without trying to teach him resilience, he ends up bumming his life away.. :shock:

[hquek]

Hi jasmineong,


Thanks for providing a good example of what I fear my kids would become. When my kids were a bit younger, there were times when I was not happy with school/teachers and thought to provide feedback/complaint. But a friend counselled me and told me that during her kids' growing up years, they did encounter not so good teachers, teacher favouritising other kids etc kind of stories.

And what she did is to counsel her kids and provide a listening ear....I don't recall her doing a lot of marching in/out of the school. Her approach was more to let the child know that such is life and life can be unfair - so deal with it.

Felt this is good advice. Rather than just managing the teacher/school to fit my child, I think I should bite my tongue at times and manage MY kid to deal with society at large.

It's still a long way for me. I still do fear I'm spoiling my kids too much and they will become a parasite when they are older. I don't know what I'm doing is correct, and can only

[jasmineong]

Hi hquek,


I think explaining and counseling the child is much more effective than
complaining. When we complain, sometimes the child can be targeted more..also I don't want my child to think that he is invincible- nobody dare touch him..if not mummy tigress will come out..I see some parents like that and see the way the kids are..I shudder.

I think if you want your child to be independent and you are training them to do so, should be good lah...they wouldn't become parasite

I also scared and keep this at the back of my mind, that I rather my kids be scolded now and learn to deal with it than next time, they are so fragile they 'break' when they face the harsh realities in life or they are so ignorant of their own flaws, they go around thinking they are right all the time and never learn to change (instead they blame everyone else-like my cousin)

[Brenda10]

jasmineong:

Hi hquek,


I think explaining and counseling the child is much more effective than
complaining. When we complain, sometimes the child can be targeted more..also I don't want my child to think that he is invincible- nobody dare touch him..if not mummy tigress will come out..I see some parents like that and see the way the kids are..I shudder.

I think if you want your child to be independent and you are training them to do so, should be good lah...they wouldn't become parasite

I also scared and keep this at the back of my mind, that I rather my kids be scolded now and learn to deal with it than next time, they are so fragile they 'break' when they face the harsh realities in life or they are so ignorant of their own flaws, they go around thinking they are right all the time and never learn to change (instead they blame everyone else-like my cousin)

Hi jasmineong

Well said.

When we take group photo usually everyone will naturally looking for herself/himself in the photo before switch the attention to the rest right?

Therefore I tell dd If happen she gets scolding from teacher just learn how to take it and do better next time. Because nobody is so free and have time to remember her matter as they also have their own problem to deal with.

[Daddy D]

jasmineong:

I look at him and think he is actually really smart but he cannot tahan probs or stress and because his parents always take his side without trying to teach him resilience, he ends up bumming his life away.. :shock:

Reminds me of the Sunday article... abt our Gen Y kids... pretty sad... and we complain abt FTs taking our rice bowls... but our local kids are not up to the challenges...

[jasmineong]

Brenda10:

jasmineong:

Hi jasmineong

Well said.

When we take group photo usually everyone will naturally looking for herself/himself in the photo before switch the attention to the rest right?

Therefore I tell dd If happen she gets scolding from teacher just learn how to take it and do better next time. Because nobody is so free and have time to remember her matter as they also have their own problem to deal with.

True, just tahan the scolding..unless it is very vindictive otherwise, it would not really hurt the child

[jasmineong]

Daddy

jasmineong:

I look at him and think he is actually really smart but he cannot tahan probs or stress and because his parents always take his side without trying to teach him resilience, he ends up bumming his life away.. :shock:

Reminds me of the Sunday article... abt our Gen Y kids... pretty sad... and we complain abt FTs taking our rice bowls... but our local kids are not up to the challenges...

Ya..very true..FT have a lot of drive and tt makes a lot of difference..our kids need to have tt drive but more than that, be creative and think out of the box for solutions. I think our kids are too passive, they wait for instructions and solutions to be handed out to them. That is why when you put them on a level playing field with FT, they find it hard to compete...

But is it our education system tt makes them like tt (too much spoonfeeding)..but on the other hand, I also do not like too much of the 'free and easy' style of western education. Here, at least our average can write and do maths much better..sigh guess it is up to us parents to make up for the lack of any system..

[atrecord]

I agree that it is good to let the kids take some light knocks/setbacks along the way, so that they can be ready and prepared for challenges later on in life. If they are forever hoping that things will change for them when things are not going well, rather then they themselves changing their ways, it would almost spell trouble in future.