Living with Depression

[kaitlynangelica]

Funz:

kaitlynangelica:

[quote=\"Funz\"]Hate to say this but I am back here again.


Anyone here engaged the service of a life coach before? I dunno whether to find a life coach or drag DH to a counsellor. Any recommendations or referrals for either?

If DH still does not want to go for counselling, think I will go. I need it to be able to cope.

Dear Funz,

Have you ever thought of getting hubby to take some herbal remedies that will help him to calm down? And even for yourself, might be useful? Otherwise if this goes on, you are the one that will need to see a psychaitrist and take med.

Herbal remedies, like marijuana?

What do you have in mind?

Admittedly, I am a bit off kilter, emotionally, now. DH was spoiling for a fight last night and I refuse to get sucked in. This morning he left for his trip without saying goodbye to me or the kids. He'll be back only end of this week.

I feel that, 心病需要心药 but hey, I am open to any suggestions that might help.[/quote]
I think there is something sold in GNC like St John's Worts or Valerian. These things are supposed to calm and relax the mind.

[Funz]

Thank you all. I was looking back at what I have posted and realised that the cycle has really been twice yearly. The other thing I have noticed was how it has affected my DD. This time again she is very emotional, clingy to the point of sitting outside my toilet each time I go, be it to pee or shower. She has always been a very sensitive and highly intuitive girl who is also very susceptible to external stimuli and I guess she is picking up all the negative vibes. Since DH is away, I bunked with the kids in their room last night and her sleep was very disturbed. She was crying and talking a lot as well in her sleep. It pains me to see her like that.


Sun2010, I use to do yoga and I did drag DH along with me a few times as I find it beneficial to help relieve stress and tension. At the end of the session, there will always be a 10min exercise to clear the mind. We were told to visualise ourselves suspended, be it in water or the sky or in the middle of lush greenery. Then to slowly visualise that with every breath, the tension in use will slowly flow out of our fingertips and toes. Then to feel our muscles from head to toe, bit by bit relaxing and therefter, just focus on our breathing. B4 the yoga teacher can get to the tension flowing out, DH was snoring oredi. Haha. So relaxing that he fell asleep.

I called a couple of counselling centres and life coaches. Got a few dates for possible 1st sessions, but most of the dates are like 3 weeks to a mth away. Life coaches are costly and they may deploy methods like NLP and Hypnotherapy, not sure about these things. Well I guess finding a counsellor or a programme that suits takes time, so I may just push DH to explore both to see which he finds more comfortable and since this is such a personal thing, the rapport/connection with the counsellor or life coach himself/herself is important.

Thing is, I think that things have reached a point where we need intervention, we are no longer able to work things through on our own.

[autumnbronze]

Hey Funz,



I was reading The Finder (magazine) and I came across some names - counselling services and life coaches.

If you'd like to have the info, I'll be happy to post them here.

[Funz]

autumnbronze:

Hey Funz,



I was reading The Finder (magazine) and I came across some names - counselling services and life coaches.

If you'd like to have the info, I'll be happy to post them here.

Yup, definitely like to have them. Many thanks.

Anyway, learned something from the life coach I was talking to or rather he reminded me about something. Better not to be formally diagnosed as suffering from any form of mental illness. Especially if it is something that can be resolved through therapy and counselling. Cos once formally diagnosed, you will have problems with your insurance. Definition of formally diagnose, I guess will be if there is a record in IMH or any govt linked psych clinics.

[DesertWind]

Dear Funz,


I read this thread all the way through. You mentioned you are an RC? Any possibility of getting help from your church or pastor to do counselling and prayer for you and your DH? Your DH may be more receptive of this than going for other professional help?

I strongly believed in the Christian faith which will provide the spiritual nourishment to our soul and give us peace with God. Also we need a miracle here for God to touch and transform our lives. Also seems that your DD is feeling very insecure and fearful. If you are attending a church or is open to attending one, perhaps can put your girl into Sunday school. Prayer to God is like a life-line in times of helplessness.

I would like to give you a link to my church's website which has a crisis helpline and also which you can obtain some spiritual encouragement like right now because it is just a click away. Will PM you.
:hugs:

[autumnbronze]

Okie Funz here goes ....


1. AJ Counselling
http://www.ajcounselling.com


2. The Counselling Place LLP
http://www.thecounsellingplace.com


3. Mala Khare (Austrailian trained counsellor and lecturer in Psychology)
[email protected]
91458430


4. InsideOutYou Coaching and Training
http://www.insideoutyou.com
http://www.stellasmum.com


5. Lifesteps Counselling
http://www.lifesteps.com.sg


6. Talkworks (does home visits)
[email protected]
97121029


7. The Center for Psychology
http://www.center4psy.com

These details are from The Finder magazine that I picked up from my DS' art class. Its distributed free there. I believe its also a magazine catered to expatriates here. However, the services provided by the above also cater to locals as well

Hope this helps

Take care



:hugs:

[janet88]

I didn’t realize I had depression back then…went to polyclinic for a referral to Alexandra Hospital. Got a very patient and caring psychiatrist. She got me started on anti-depressant…my condition is controlled now…except near stressful periods like son’s exams.

[ksme]

Hang in there. :hugs:

[Funz]

Thank you all.


I sent an email to DH telling him that I have asked for tentative dates for counselling. When I spoke to him last night, he sounded non-committal. And this morning when I checked my mail, I saw that he sent an email back to me. In it he said he has been entertaining thoughts of ending it all. He wrote a fair bit more about how he feels and also how he is travelling a lot more and not getting many calls from home, or anyone going to the airport to pick him or when he comes home, no one to run to greet him.

I am so angry. I want to scream at him and rant and rail at him. STUPID SELFISH MYOPIC BASTARD!!! Can’t you see what you are doing to your daughter??? Are we not enough for you to feel that life is worth living?What big unsolvable problems do we have? No issues with finance, no major health issues, kids are perfect and normal, no aged invalid parents to support, our relationship is okay if not for this stupid cycle of depression. ARGGGGHHHH!!!

Sorry folks, I have to vent here for I have to reign in whatever I am feeling when I face him. I know a person going through depression cannot help what they are feeling they are not seeing clearly. But I need to explode, and get it out of my system before my kids see me this evening.

I have fixed a counselling session for myself but it could not happen soon enough.

[duriz]

Funz:

I have fixed a counselling session for myself but it could not happen soon enough.

Sorry to hear Funz.
I cannot comment on your DH and his actions/reactions.
But I'm glad to hear that you are doing something for yourself.
I have consulted a close friend of mine who is a psychiatrist as well as life coach. He provided me with a list which you may use if you wish:

Personal Needs and Goals:

Welcome your sensitivity. Learn ways to use it, especially with others.

Examine, reflect, write down the \"themes\" of your life that you are internally addressing when your spouse is \"depressed.\"

Congratulate your self on your tremendous growth and progress.

Be very specific on the changes you want from him.

List factors that \"hold you back\" from him and vice versa.

List of your greatest personal needs.

Continue working hard on defining your life’s purpose. Your children.

I’m working hard on me, and boy, does that feel good. Also very exciting. But, I’m not sure, sometimes, where that leaves me with you.

I want for us to have a richer relationship but it seems there has been so much pain and hurt, on both of our parts, that I wonder, what that means for our future.

I have some very specific needs that I would like you to meet. But, I know this can be very tricky and rather scary. For example, I would like ____________. If you can do that, great. If not, help me understand what gets in the way. Maybe just give it some thought first, and we can get at it later.

What is your situation? Describe your situation. Let it flow. Don't hold back. Then, ask yourself, \"What does this marriage mean for ME?\" What impact does his depression have on my feelings, thoughts and actions? Then rehearse approaching your spouse/partner with phrases that convey the meaning and impact of his depression for YOU.

My best wishes to you and yours :hugs: