All About Full-Time Maids
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wow… exactly the same thing which happend to me before. During that time, I have already made up my mind not to renew her (after finish 2nd contract). Unfortunately, her young son passed away suddenly (dunno tru or not) & I hv to send her back immediately with a one way ticket. I thot might as well since her attitude not as good as before anyway. So I got myself a new maid & that is where I realise, a good maid is hard to come by. My kids & I can’t really click with the new maid. Can’t be trusted & not humble at all. Then change maid after 6 months but she is not any better. Everything was a total mess in that 1 year. I told my friends. If your maid is good & can look after kids, cherish her. Housework is really secondary. Luckily for me, my maid sms me if she can come back. It was really a relief to have her back (a yr already). Before that, I talk frankly abt how I felt about her previous attitude. We spoke openly and iron out some misunderstanding. Until today, I still remind myself to be nice to a poor mother who is living in a foreign land to earn a living.
As for passing message, I suggest you ask your hubby to co-operate. Unless it something serious like kids is injured or stranger come etc. She has to tell you and not sir. Or, after hearing the maid report & feel that it is not serious, ask maid to tell maam again later. If they don wish to repeat the same story, they will automatically wait for u to come back to report to you.
Take it easy my dear, she is human after all. Sometimes when my boss din give me what I want (fatter bonus), I also show him my black face. Or I will eat snake a little bit when boss is not around. Its normal lah.
Good luck -
DesertWind:
All along, when we are out, my maids are the one to leisurely eat while I'm the maid having to take care of my kids - but that's MY choice.Anybody with same experience as me can share please?
Q1. Should I tell her her attitude nowadays sucks and she should buck up?
Q2. Should I renew her contract next year or change new maid?
Thanks!
:celebrate:
You seem to have a good relationship with your maid. Just write out all these on a piece of paper and sit down to have a talk with her. Let her know that you appreciate what she has done for your kid (I assume she's treating him really well), but if she continue in her manners, it's time for her to retire in glory - and actually you will be sad to see her go.
let her know:
1. You're the boss, the sir is just a man in the house - refer to me for anything household related.
2. MIL/mum is employer's mother. You don't treat your mother with disrespect, so please don't do it to yours/sir's.
As for the last. Very easy. Any chance like that happen again. Just take a deep breath, and tell her to get this/that for boy boy or for herself. Then you sit and play with your son, or you go mingle with your friends. -
After maids work here for sometime and have money, they find it easier to tell ma’am to send them back if ma’am not happy (classic wings harden). I do agree that if you found one that meets your criteria, by all means try to keep her - but don’t make yourself to be hostage to her whims and fancies (else you will be asking for trouble).
When I tell my current maid off, I try to start with something positive about her - she learns fast, she remembers what I say, she is clean…and then tell her this/that why I don’t like. Seems to help a bit. This one’s going home - I’m dreading what nightmares the next one will bring. -
verykiasu2010:
it is time to have a new maid then
Hi verykiasu2010,
If I do this, I suspect I will be exchanging one problem for perhaps 10 other problems!
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Hi pineapple tarts,
Wow, words of wisdom from an experienced employer indeed, thanks!
I will bear in mind what you have said. Getting a new maid whom we cannot click with is my greatest fear too and I much suspect this will be the case if we change.
Glad that your previous maid came back to work for you, I can imagine your relief!
I suppose all these black faces & stuck-up attitude can be discussed very frankly and I will find a right opportunity to talk to her.
Ask for \"eating snake\" and clever remarks to \"siam\", sigh! Familiarity breeds contempt lor I suppose, she already know how to \"get around\" things already!
But yes, that reminded us as employees too isn't it? Sometimes we also show black face to own boss. Heh...heh...glad sometimes boss can close one eye on account of our hard work on other days...
So \"do unto others what you want others to do unto you\". I will try to apply this with my maid!
:celebrate:pineapple tarts:
So I got myself a new maid & that is where I realise, a good maid is hard to come by. My kids & I can't really click with the new maid....Everything was a total mess in that 1 year. I told my friends. If your maid is good & can look after kids, cherish her. Housework is really secondary. Luckily for me, my maid sms me if she can come back.
As for passing message, I suggest you ask your hubby to co-operate..... If they don wish to repeat the same story, they will automatically wait for u to come back to report to you.
Take it easy my dear, she is human after all. Sometimes when my boss din give me what I want (fatter bonus), I also show him my black face. Or I will eat snake a little bit when boss is not around. Its normal lah.
Good luck -
Hi hquek,
Thanks for your useful pointers too!
Yes my maid treats my son quite well and my son is also not easy to handle, very demanding and I shudder to think what any maid of less patience may do to him!
Hubby & myself sort of agree to observe further from now till next year and have a good talk with her (I think will do it when it is nearer year-end as a \"year-end review\" and goal-setting for next year).
Yes, there is another up & coming wedding lunch couple of weeks later. Will make sure I tell her my expectation before going so that the same thing will not happen again. I just hope that this time it is not a buffet so that we all can sit down nicely. But will tell her she has to run after boy boy if he cannot sit still.
Can you believe this morning I actually have a dream of this maid - in my dream I was scolding her and telling her off. She did not reply to me but instead went off to bath, eat and then packed! Then before I knew it, in my dream, she was already out of the door with 2 suitcases and say \"bye, bye\" she is going to work for another employer! Yikes! Strange dream! It is the reversed of what so many forumners have shared here, instead of me, the employer \"fried her squid\", this maid actually \"fried my squid\"!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:hquek:
All along, when we are out, my maids are the one to leisurely eat while I'm the maid having to take care of my kids - but that's MY choice.
You seem to have a good relationship with your maid. Just write out all these on a piece of paper and sit down to have a talk with her. Let her know that you appreciate what she has done for your kid (I assume she's treating him really well), but if she continue in her manners, it's time for her to retire in glory - and actually you will be sad to see her go.
let her know:
1. You're the boss, the sir is just a man in the house - refer to me for anything household related.
2. MIL/mum is employer's mother. You don't treat your mother with disrespect, so please don't do it to yours/sir's.
As for the last. Very easy. Any chance like that happen again. Just take a deep breath, and tell her to get this/that for boy boy or for herself. Then you sit and play with your son, or you go mingle with your friends. -
DesertWind:
This called \"day time think too much, night time dream\". and yes, I had the same type of dream with my previous maid.
Can you believe this morning I actually have a dream of this maid - in my dream I was scolding her and telling her off. She did not reply to me but instead went off to bath, eat and then packed! Then before I knew it, in my dream, she was already out of the door with 2 suitcases and say \"bye, bye\" she is going to work for another employer! Yikes! Strange dream! It is the reversed of what so many forumners have shared here, instead of me, the employer \"fried her squid\", this maid actually \"fried my squid\"!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
But once something happen, seize the chance to talk to her and clear the air. Don't wait until nothing happen then you suddenly aim your machine gun. -
LKVM:
I agree with vk2010 time to change
Yes, this is always an option LKVM!
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DesertWind:
... Can you believe this morning I actually have a dream of this maid - in my dream I was scolding her and telling her off. She did not reply to me but instead went off to bath, eat and then packed! Then before I knew it, in my dream, she was already out of the door with 2 suitcases and say \"bye, bye\" she is going to work for another employer! Yikes! Strange dream! It is the reversed of what so many forumners have shared here, instead of me, the employer \"fried her squid\", this maid actually \"fried my squid\"! ...
Now... maybe this maid of yours is able to \"psychically\" project herself into your dreams... kekekke... twilight zone time. -
These days, I have a terrible headache whenever I get angry, stressed or very tired. This started about 2 years ago...
I had an Indonesian maid who would make me very angry, and would not do what I ask her to do. Despite that, I tried to keep her as I pitied her, I did not want to see her out of a job and had to pay her hefty loan. As a result, I tolerated everything she did.
Nevertheless, I could not stand her leaving my iron in the rain despite me telling her again and again. I don't like my maid climbing over my walls and meet men in hotels, I don't like my maid going to my son's room in the middle of the night, I don't like that she laughed whenever I tell her what she did wrong or singing. As a result, I got angry. Then, I realised that whenever I get angry, my blood would rush to my head and I'll get this headache as I scolded her.
Even my children could not get me so mad.
She has left for more than a year. My pain stays...
I wished I had let her off earlier. :stupid:
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