All About Teaching Values
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Blobbi:
Haha... thanks Blobbi. Such was the innocence of a 7yo, from the mouth of babes. :love:
Yah, you've got a good point, Shweppes.
Your daughter sounds so tenderly innocent. This is off topic, but soo sweet!
But now!!! at 12 going onto 13.... going thru adolescence battles!!! -
This is an interesting thread. Picked up lots of nice points here.
Very nice to read a couple of comments from school teachers who mentioned that when they look at kids, they don’t see the kids, they see the parents in them! How true is that… kids grow up in the kind of environment with their parents and emulate their behaviour irregardless of what their parents say and don’t practice!
I have a couple of points for your comments:
1. If daddy/ mummy are going through a hard time, anything, do you explain to your child, let him/her see your situation, not to despise you or to fear, but to learn from you how to overcome adversity? Or is it better to shield your child from the harsh realities of life and maintain a happy childhood? To what extent will you share with you child - what if he turns cynical or to what extend will you protect him? - what if he stays naive?
2. I always wonder why we sometimes read about amazing kids of poor parents who broke through the limitations of their background and become a success in life? The parents are too busy elking out a living to teach moral values or spent much time with the kid. What does the kid has in him or her to become such a good person? Why does other kids in similar circumstances continue to be no-gooders in society? Why then do rich kids with all the privileges of time, money, effort, schooling turn out to be no-gooders too?
3. Besides some of the parents who have shared, I am interested to know what are your top priorities/ values that you teach your children too, and why it is important to you?
Thanks for your sharing. -
insider:
My 16 years old son shared something with me that overall I feel proud of him.
Impressive! You have raised him well :celebrate: -
Glad to see and learn so much from this thread.
For my 3 children, we try hearing them out like friends and talk almost about everything.
When situation arise which requires some decision making, I will ask them for their opinion, but will also share with them our ideas. Ultimately, we leave it to them to do it their way if there is no immediate problems.
This year, we are working with P2 child to be more independent and discipline. In the morning, he will wake up on his own, clean up, and dress up. When back from school, he will change, bath, take lunch and do homework. In the evening, he will then have to pack his school bag and bring it to the doorway, before he can have some time on his own. It took us 1 week to get him into the routine, and he seems to be coping well especially when he gets 1 hour computer time everyday after accomplishing everything.
I have a mother-in-law taking care of the 3 kids at home, but will try to do everything for them. So, we took a chance to tell them how they can help out instead of calling out for their grandmother.
We hope our kids can build up a routine of great habits, and to be more understanding and responsible. -
It is monkey see monkey do isnt it? Kids pick up all our habits - regardless.
When my kids were 3 years old we bought them toyogo plastic drawers. I believed:-
- give them their own domain.
- let them have privacy for their own toys
- play with drawers without asking for permission to open/close
- kill their curiosity about drawers
my kids learn to maintain their domain, stay away from our private drawers (i do not lock mine) and learn at a tender age how not to clip thier fingers. If they do its plastic, they are not going to get fractured fingers. I am not a protective mom. I believe in letting my kids to learn within perimeters of course and allowance to make mistake.
To prevent them from looking over the parapet - when she learnt Humpty Dumpty. I sang the rhymns wth her, drew / color her egg. And allow her to drop it from the balcony - 6 floors down. When she saw the aftermath of her broker egg with all the messy yolk. That day on, she realises if she leans over a balcony - she will also be like the egg.
I adopt a very pragmatic approach to life. My kids are 12 & 7 a girl and boy. They are my joy and I kissed them and hug them all the time. Physical expression are important both in the home and outside. Do not be shy to display your love for them. My discipline are tough, but the kids accept and understands. -
Pinkynose98:
i beg to differ that teaching about dangers precedes the necessity to install grilles for young children; cos accidents do happen and they are call 'accidents' for a reason.
To prevent them from looking over the parapet - when she learnt Humpty Dumpty. I sang the rhymns wth her, drew / color her egg. And allow her to drop it from the balcony - 6 floors down. When she saw the aftermath of her broker egg with all the messy yolk. That day on, she realises if she leans over a balcony - she will also be like the egg. -
Hypothetically, if your child has been selected to join the school's team (be it clubs or sports) as a RESERVED player, will you encourage your child to go ahead, bearing in mind that
1. have to spend equal amount of time on preparation work but will only have the chance to use it if MAIN player is 'out' for some reasons.
2. that your child may secretly look forward to the MAIN player being 'out' so that he/she has the chance to shine.
Or do we as parents, put a stop to the kid 'wasting' the time preparing as RESERVED player and better utilise that time for other stuff? -
Hi Jedamun
The correct attitude is that the team is more important than the individual. If your child had to be the waterboy so that the team can win, he should be happy to be the waterboy. Praying for the main player to be injured so that he can shine? This kind of attitude will only get beaten up. -
HoSayLiao:
hi,Hi Jedamun
The correct attitude is that the team is more important than the individual. If your child had to be the waterboy so that the team can win, he should be happy to be the waterboy. Praying for the main player to be injured so that he can shine? This kind of attitude will only get beaten up.
thanks for sharing.
ideally, one needs to be noble in our intentions; but don't all Reserves wish to be main players one day? if i am caught in this situation, i will respect my boy's decision whether to continue being a Reserve...with a lot of reluctance. :oops: rooting for the best for the team is noble; but is it selfish to think of own benefits?
similarly, ideally if one school has a part in grooming the kid to shine, should the kid drop the opportunity for a transfer to a more reputed school? repaying what the sch has done by staying on is noble; but is it selfish to think of own benefits?
hm... -
In a competitive environment, like taking exams, competing for a job interview, u have to be selfish and there is nothing wrong it.
In a co-operative environment, like playing a team sports, in the army, it will then be 100% wrong to be selfish. If there are other players better than him, it means the team has a higher chance of winning, then he should be happy about it. Feeling reluctant is the wrong attitude.
Manchester Utd has a reserve called Ole Gunnar Solskaer. He was very good, but always the reserve and he was happy about it because when the whole team wins, he also gets the winners’ medal. That is the right attitude and right values we need to impart to the next generation.
If your child feel reluctant to be a reseve, u should tell him to improve his skills and stop feeling reluctant. -
HoSayLiao:
hi again,In a competitive environment, like taking exams, competing for a job interview, u have to be selfish and there is nothing wrong it.
In a co-operative environment, like playing a team sports, in the army, it will then be 100% wrong to be selfish. If there are other players better than him, it means the team has a higher chance of winning, then he should be happy about it. Feeling reluctant is the wrong attitude.
Manchester Utd has a reserve called Ole Gunnar Solskaer. He was very good, but always the reserve and he was happy about it because when the whole team wins, he also gets the winners' medal. That is the right attitude and right values we need to impart to the next generation.
If your child feel reluctant to be a reseve, u should tell him to improve his skills and stop feeling reluctant.
thanks for sharing. :goodpost: (in bold above)
i mean i am the one who will be reluctant.... :oops: bad me! :heresmyfish: -
:goodpost:
Thanks for sharing this beautiful story. Modelling is one of the best ways to impart values indeed! -
with the recent spate of violence on our streets still on our minds…
pls share your thoughts on what values are needed to address such violent behaviour in our youths? -
Children are a reflection of their parents.
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any values lacking or missing in today’s society?
which ones?
do parents have it themselves?
or most do not? -
In the past, I was taught authoritatively what is right and what is wrong. The shows I used to watch almost always had a good guy and a bad guy. And the good guy would always wins - the demarcation was clear and straight forward. Movies I used to watch would always make me cry over violence and celebrate virtues like diligence and perserverance. Violence content in media was frowned upon harshly then by the community. Now the movies my child watches celebrated violence and made a mockery out of hardworking guys as uncool nerds.
Our education system has all along reward the competitiveness to excel. However, the community on the whole I believe was largely still promoting the courage to exhibit selflessness during the time when I was growing up. Things seem simpler then. Societal support on values was extremely high. My parents will use gambling dens crack down as life story to teach me the cons of gambling. Now I have to explain to my son why gambling is BAD but we need and want that kind of the money by building more than one casinos here for the GOOD of Singapore.
While family is the most critical influence of one’s attitude towards values, there are also other influences too. The kind of gracious society we are in or the kind of role models (a teacher, a colleague or a friend) we have play a part too. I know of someone who grew up with a compulsive gambler mother. He grew up to be a fine adult, because he got good role models and strong societal support throughout his life. While I see my parents demonstrating a lot of good values, I actually have found quite a large portion of them missing in me.
While a child can pick up values from the parent, values can be also taught. While family fundamentally is the most critical influence on a person’s values, the community and system we are in play a big part too. -
insider:
:thankyou: for sharing.friend forwarded me the below. source unknown.
我們的教育能否教育出這種小孩呢?(這種媽媽呢?)
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parangtor:
The core values of Chinese culture :any values lacking or missing in today's society?
which ones?
do parents have it themselves?
or most do not?
忠孝仁义 礼仪廉耻
Loyalty, filial piety, benevolence , righteousness
Courtesy, attention to one's appearance, honesty and integrity, sense of shame
I feel that many young Singaporeans lack these values. -
tamarind:
伦理道德? good stuff, but dead....The core values of Chinese culture :
忠孝仁义 礼仪廉耻
Loyalty, filial piety, benevolence , righteousness
Courtesy, attention to one's appearance, honesty and integrity, sense of shame
I feel that many young Singaporeans lack these values. -
http://www.starpoint.com.sg is the web tool he practice daily. It may help for you also.