In-law problems?

[kiddo]

duriz:

LOLMum:

just curious...


all these not so nice mils, well, are they

a) the highly educated type with a good job

b) the highly educated type but sahm

c) the \"o\" level, \"a\" level, etc with a good job

d) the \"o\", \"a\" level etc but sahm

f) from rich family so that's why so nasty to others

i notice that some of my friends' mils who are considered highly educated (well in their era esp those who speak english) tend to be a bit more snobbish.

My MIL went to university and majored in French.
Nuf said.

:shock: :shock: :shock:
creme de la creme ............ or :love:

[orchids]

angela:

orchids:

My MIL is uneducated yet can dispense a lot of \"道理\". She also specializes in 重男轻女 and good at being superstitious. What can the DIL do? Close one eye lor!

Hi orchids,

My MIL is just like your MIL. Sometimes, over superstitious. Recently, she so free until always read about 'feng shui' and she can keep telling me that our house is not good according to feng shui. At first, I just listened to her but the more she says, the more you will feel worried. Then I told my hb. My HB is free-thinker, he does not believe one so he just tells me to avoid my MIL.

How to avoid? She is staying with us. If I dun talk to her, she will complain that I give her black face. I dun respect her. Then how?

Feng shui still not so bad, my MIL's superstition is so ridiculous that I am too embarrassed to mention them here. The lucky thing is she's not staying with us.
Somehow, I pity my poor FIL who has to tolerate her nonsense for the rest of his life. After knowing her for more than 10 yrs, I'm more amused than annoyed by her antics.

[angela]

janet_lee88:

HI Angela,

It's tough bcos she is staying with you...the best part is your hubby being a free-thinker. So why not ask him to tell his mother not to bring up the feng shui issue. It's always easier for the son to open his mouth.

Just waiting for the old ones to go to US to look after their precious daughter and newborn grandson next yr...it would be great if their stay there is extended and extended...since they are not keen to look after sons' children, then they can look after daughter's children...like cook for them...bearing in mind that son-in-law is angmoh.

Yah, I had told my hb many times but he never talks to her.

Now I am also waiting for my MIL to go over to my BIL to look after their new born baby. Although my BIL stays just a few bus stop away from us but she has to stay there during confinement. My MIL also dun want to look after my gals and since that one is her precious son, better go over to look after them. I am waiting for that time to come. Ha ha ha!!

Very bad rite?

[janet88]

Hi angela,

Mine here also favours boys but she is not keen in kids…only wants to play play and return. Now that her precious daughter in America is going to have #2, her daughter asked her to go there and help. I wonder how she is going to help since she doesn’t like to cook…but in America if you don’t cook, there is no coffeeshop to 打包.

[angela]

janet_lee88:

Hi angela,

Mine here also favours boys but she is not keen in kids..only wants to play play and return. Now that her precious daughter in America is going to have #2, her daughter asked her to go there and help. I wonder how she is going to help since she doesn't like to cook...but in America if you don't cook, there is no coffeeshop to 打包.

Same same. Although my MIL said girl also good but actually she hopes to have a grandson but mine is all gals. Ha ha ha!!

My MIL dun cook every day and she only cooks when my SIL and BIL come to my house.

She dun like to look after kids 1. If you ask her to help out a few hours ok, but not the whole day. She likes to watch tv program especially the taiwan shows 'ai' and 'nian jia'. So engrossed. She just likes to play with kids that all.

[janet88]

Oh, mine here would just like the idea of having grandchildren. Funny thing is, she likes to ask my son, '我是谁?' Sounds like that movie which Jackie Chan produced ? Son gets so irritated bcos she keeps asking that question. Senile case or wants to make a point (what point)??? :?


She doesn't like to cook, likes to have her hair set nice nice. I guess most prob whole day talking to her daughter using Skype, or else gossip. So good lah, she can go to America to help daughter look after the 2 half angmoh grandchildren and do her part as 外婆.

[angela]

Wow! Then u will be have some peace.


So envious!!

My HB is very fulfil to his mother. I hate CNY, PILs’ birthdays, mothers’ day and fathers’ day. My SIL will do many things to please my PILs.

My SIL and BIL will arrange a dinner then last min will tell my HB and me. I am so angry that I will tell them straight that I am not free. Even they are not happy, I also dun care.

Last min tell us, what is the meaning? Like we very free, just sit at home to wait for them to tell us when to have dinner or going out.

My HB always tells me to tolerate them just do it for him. I keep quiet for the sake of my HB not I scare them.

[carrotz]

janet_lee88:

Oh, mine here would just like the idea of having grandchildren. Funny thing is, she likes to ask my son, '我是谁?' Sounds like that movie which Jackie Chan produced ? Son gets so irritated bcos she keeps asking that question. Senile case or wants to make a point (what point)??? :?


She doesn't like to cook, likes to have her hair set nice nice. I guess most prob whole day talking to her daughter using Skype, or else gossip. So good lah, she can go to America to help daughter look after the 2 half angmoh grandchildren and do her part as 外婆.

Hi janet

Wow, after reading some of your posts, realise our inlaw side really've a lot in common. One sil also married to foreigner. Mil will 'organize' dinner at some restaurant(must be upmarket one, got face) whenever they're back for visit. Then she waits to see who'll foot the bill.

She also likes to ask my child in her loud voice, \"Ni mei you jiao wo ah?!\" I can tell my child is not comfortable with her. She has shown very little concern all along and so I feel she should not expect any kind of closeness in the grandparent-grandchild relationship. Her so called concern is always asking whether my child goes to childcare(trying to find out if I'm working or put it in another way, still depending on her son) or probing, asking if my mum, who helps me at times, visits my siblings and how often my mum comes to my place, etc. I think it's really none of her biz. My child also doesn't like the sils. I guess young children can sense negative vibes from adults.

Good that you'll get some peace soon. As for me, really don't feel like meeting these people. The last time I visited, his mother said, \"If not free, no need to come lor.\" Of course, it was not within my husband's earshot. My mil belongs to type (g), the one you added to the list.
Just wondering, how do you handle the relationships with the inlaw side, janet? For me, can only ren3 but I know if they overdo it, will have to voice out.

[AuntieKiasi]

janet_lee88:

Hi angela,

Mine here also favours boys but she is not keen in kids..only wants to play play and return. Now that her precious daughter in America is going to have #2, her daughter asked her to go there and help. I wonder how she is going to help since she doesn't like to cook...but in America if you don't cook, there is no coffeeshop to 打包.

So good for her lor...forced to cook there.

[janet88]

Hi carrotz,

She just couldn’t be bothered with reunion lunch or dinner at all…don’t mind eating out since her cooking standard dropped (never cook mah).
She doesn’t bother to establish good relations with anyone…with kids, patience and tone is very impt and since she is harsh, my son doesn’t like it when she gets too close to him.

She will always say, ‘free come again’. I feel so uncomfortable each time…so irritating whenever open mouth, ‘你听我说’ :x
The lesser I see them, the happier I will be. Like you, I 忍 but got limit.