is it possible to make it without tuition

[Jennifer]

jedamum:

mrswongtuition:

Honestly, after teaching so many kids for years, those who are NOT independent learners are mostly those whose mums are SAHMs who sit with them to do their work.

chicken and egg issues.
are they NOT independent learners cos their SAHMs sit with them?
or their SAHMs sit with them cos they are NOT independent learners?

I think parents must learn to let go. It's a matter of when to let go. I coached my elder boy since P1, sent him to EL creative writing courses since I cant teach this subject, and outsourced CL when we ended up shouting at each other most of the times. I chose to let go when he was in mid P4. Sure enough there was a slip in results, but it served as a wake-up call to him. His unexpected results in P5 CA1 further jolted him to pay more attention to how he managed on his own. I always tell my hubby we must let the child fails at some pt in time so that he learns to pick himself up. IMO the earlier we let go, the better since the stakes are not so high yet. Now he is an independent learner, except when it comes to MT :oops:

[Lock]

jedamum:

Lock:

What about subject proficiency? My fear is that I may not be proficient enough in the various subjects to impart knowledge to my kids (u know how maths n science is like nowadays), then am I depriving the kids of learning from a professional?

Lock,
i am at this same crossroad as you. :stupid: :stupid:

Ya. Very frustrating. Cos now is the period where most centres are doing recruitment for 2011 classes and I got to decide quick, otherwise no more vacancy (esp for very popular and good centres).

My dd is the very obedient, disciplined and diligent type. Very attentive also, so I don't have problem to teach her myself and I homeschooled my children when they were in pre-pri. Its just that now my kiasu instinct is bugging me, making me think that letting her continue with her tuition will enable her to be at her optimal performance since she is learning from the professionals. I can teach but probably can't be as good as those with years of experience behind them and tons of tried and tested materials.

But I have other concerns as mentioned in my earlier post.
Hence :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:

[jedamum]

Jennifer:

I think parents must learn to let go.

I always tell my hubby we must let the child fails at some pt in time so that he learns to pick himself up. IMO the earlier we let go, the better since the stakes are not so high yet.

:goodpost:

[atutor2001]

Lock:

atutor2001:

Tuition or no tuition, I feel that we are hiding from the truth.

Sorry, a bit slow here. What truth are we hiding from :?

What about subject proficiency? My fear is that I may not be proficient enough in the various subjects to impart knowledge to my kids (u know how maths n science is like nowadays), then am I depriving the kids of learning from a professional?

Lack of subject proficiency is the most common reasons parents feel as to why we can't teach our kids. However, I have a relative with not even primary education, too poor to pay for tuition, got her sons to HC (though they qualified for RI). Many will think that she is lucky to have kids that are self-disciplined. However, I witnessed how she taught and disciplined them since young. She made them help in cleaning toilets, make bed... at very young age (pre-primary). I believe many mummies would cry foul. They were explained of the reality that they cannot match others in wealth and need to strive on their own.

The truth that we are hiding from is : \"we do not accept the fact that we are unable to motivate and move our kids i.e. we have lost control to a certain extent\" - I am included because it is DH who is doing all that. Hiding from this reality, we send our kids to tutors, and justify our actions with reasons such as - syllabus too tough, I don't know how to teach, my kid is slower and more playful.....

[Lock]

atutor2001:

The truth that we are hiding from is : \"we do not accept the fact that we are unable to motivate and move our kids i.e. we have lost control to a certain extent\" - I am included because it is DH who is doing all that. Hiding from this reality, we send our kids to tutors, and justify our actions with reasons such as - syllabus too tough, I don't know how to teach, my kid is slower and more playful.....

Hmm...interesting point.

[Jennifer]

Lock:

I can teach but probably can't be as good as those with years of experience behind them and tons of tried and tested materials.

I think a distinction must be made between teaching our children how to learn and teaching whatever we know (aka spoon feeding).

Once our children know how to learn, they can become independent. Else, there will be no end to tuition, esp when they go to sec, JC, uni levels and more afraid not to hv tuition as the stakes are too high by then.

[jedamum]

Jennifer:

Lock:

I can teach but probably can't be as good as those with years of experience behind them and tons of tried and tested materials.

I think a distinction must be made between teaching our children how to learn and teaching whatever we know (aka spoon feeding).

interesting.
i personally find your brief write up on science keywords techniques and reference books very informative.

[Lock]

Jennifer:

Lock:

I can teach but probably can't be as good as those with years of experience behind them and tons of tried and tested materials.

I think a distinction must be made between teaching our children how to learn and teaching whatever we know (aka spoon feeding).

Once our children know how to learn, they can become independent. Else, there will be no end to tuition, esp when they go to sec, JC, uni levels and more afraid not to hv tuition as the stakes are too high by then.

Correct me if I am wrong. So, it will be to send for tuition to learn subject matter and teach them how to learn at home? I can't rely on sch trs to pass on content knowledge to the kids cos it has been proven time and time again (for all subjects) that sch trs do not teach the kids enough for them to sit for the exam. :stupid:

[iFruit]

atutor2001:

The truth that we are hiding from is : \"we do not accept the fact that we are unable to motivate and move our kids i.e. we have lost control to a certain extent\" - I am included because it is DH who is doing all that. Hiding from this reality, we send our kids to tutors, and justify our actions with reasons such as - syllabus too tough, I don't know how to teach, my kid is slower and more playful.....

Very well put...

We all agree that the tution can't go on forever...At some point of life the child needs to get motivated and start to self-learn.

So as a parent it should be our responsibility to ensure the child gets motivated ( get him interested in the subject, make him set goals for the future, make him see the importance of good marks however unimportant they are in the wider scheme of life..).

Once the kid gets motivated I believe he himself will ask us if he thinks he needs tution.

Motivation is the key here. But if it needs a tutor to generate that spark, so be it ( but I doubt so, in most cases a parent is better situated to do that)

[24hr-mum]

wow, didnt expect my post to generate much discussion - and very fruitful opinions.


currently i send my p2 girl to both eng and ch compo cos i believe i cant teach compo, time consuming to source creative phrases, not sure how to grade the compo, and wld be diff to make the child finish compo at home. plus i just want her to practise compo weekly so writg wont come as something strange in exams.

and also sent her to enopi math towards only in sep becos i realised she still err in simple addition n subtraction. this may be short term cos enopi wont be enuf to tackle problem sums, so i m still planning to add in math tuition nx year. cos the way i teach is sometimes not the most efficient way. even for basic heuristic questions such as 6 ducks n rabbits with a total of 66 legs kind of questn she still cant reallly get it：（

she did go for minimal tuition in eng compo, a term of ch compo. and 1 mth of math compo. the one i really wanted was just eng compo. but she went for ch / math is becos i just want to shop for the best centre before the time she really needs help.

personally i believe when the child is still young, ie kindy to primary (or at least lower pri), the child certainly needs tuition or guidance of watever sort, be it teachers or parents, doesnt matter, depends on who does a beter job. when the child is more mature, then can drop tuition for subjects that he or she can already handle. eg i hope can drop the compo tuitions when my girl is p4 (hoping she can write well alrdy) and just hv math/sci tuitn cos these two really tough n not my cup of tea.

i do agree that my kids eg are reliant on me being a sahm to study wif them. but then they are still young. there will b a time when i let go, simply bcos i hv 3 kids to coach in turn and when no. 1 goes sec 1, shd let go by then. jus tuition the one and only one or two killer subjects. prob sci and math for my case.

at this point can i ask for feedback, how to prepare for p3 science?