How to tell if a child is gifted?

[pingsped]

2ppaamm:

From my experience, there are so many levels of giftedness and it is very difficult to find a group of children who will be compatible if your child is very bright. In fact, most of the time, they are very frustrated when mixing in a group because gifted children are all very different, especially at this age.

All 5 of my children have past pre-school, and yet, I do not know what is the best for them,
I'm not sure which kid is gifted, which is not. I only know that the best teacher is still us, the mothers and the fathers. Whether we sent the kids to the best or cheapest childcare/preschool did not matter. Who they learn with did not matter, too. My 4th child suffered much bullying from childcare and mainstream school to this day. The price of being accelerated? The price of being 2e? Not sure.

Hope this helps some of you with your decisions on how you want to groom your very bright children. For me, I'm still not sure what works and what does not. To be brutally honest, I'm not very sure if my children are gifted or not. I'm just like any other parent, hoping they'll do well and blend into the society one day. I just play along and listen to other folks with experience and learn as I grow with my children.

And, I've never sent my children to any enrichment, tuition, Chinese classes either. Even if they have to fail, they'll fail and learn. That's what I told them.

Hi 2ppaamm mummy

Thanks for sharing!

You are blessed with very bright kids. Rejoice.

I really don't think my girl is gifted. I rejoice too.

I feel for your kids. It is not easy being different in Singapore. It is challenging being parents of children with special needs (giftedness).

I used to teach social skills to bright children with ADHD. I've also seen enough GEPers from a certain premier girls' school. I still see a lot of bright kids who run around in preschool, bored to bits. And they are unable to socialise well with their peers.

I'm worried that my girl may turn out like them, so I made a conscious decision not to be too KS. I worry what would she'll do in preschool since I can imagine her reading books easily by 4 years old, going by her current progress. It's also not quite right to retard her development artificially. Luckily, there are more kindergartens which cater to 4 yr-olds who can read books these days.

It is very painful to grow up, feeling rejected by peers or 'not belonging'. It is just as terrible for a young person to feel that it is alright to look down upon others cos he is \"bright\" or was rejected/bullied.

That's why I'm looking for compatible playmates whose parents share similar values. Much as I prefer to 'nuah' on my off-days, I will have to lead the playdate & try to balance her growth.

I also put her in a playgroup with a 4-yr-old boy with mild ASD. I'd like her to enjoy interacting with & helping children of different abilities and yet be comfortable with herself.

For smart persons, getting an F and A is equally easy. Some parents and children will not agree with \"they'll fail and learn\". This is something that is related to one's life experiences.

Thnks for sharing.

I hope I'm doing the right thing

[corneyAmber]

2ppaamm, I cannot agree with you more...


I find the primary school education stifling for my child but there is no choice, forced to be compliant just for the sake of marks la. :lol: My child will never be a straight perfect scorer cos she may not comply to the learning approach all the time.

I particularly like this sentence u made:
5. Only seeking to score 'A' by finding out and reproducing what professors want. They'll never find out in the uni, because there's no such thing

because this is exactly what they are training in the SCHOOLs just to make things simple for marking!

[2ppaamm]

pingsped:

I hope I'm doing the right thing

I also hope I'm doing something right. I don't even know.

Nowadays, I look at my oldest. He is now 16 and midway through his 3rd year in the uni. Must say he is a source of comfort.

He used to have executive function problems. He has never done a day of homework, forgetting most of them, including all the days of this exams. He went to school with unmatching shoes and socks unknowingly, and lost most of his school shirts by the time he reached home. Teachers labeled him stupid/careless etc. It was fine. I believed in him. At 14, he decided he should go to uni and we supported him.

His executive function problems disappeared by now. He even found a job for himself on a part-time basis and he earns about $1200 a month supporting himself through the uni, he earned himself a scholarship. He no longer quarrels over petty things he used to when he was 13. So, I thought maybe I did something right. Thank God!

Yet, I'm still not sure if I've done EVERYTHING right. I guess I'll only know on my dying bed. It is a journey, a tough, tough one, and I have 5 to make. Each one different and difficult.

Ping, do what you think is best for your child. It really doesn't matter if she is gifted or not. Point is, she must be happy. Happiness is the greatest gift to the child, not an IQ.

All my children have a few good friends and it is wise to make a few good friends. But I believe it is just a few. My oldest has only one fantastic friend. That fantastic friend has stuck throughout primary, secondary years. He never laughed, ridiculed or singled my son out. He is only there to support whatever my son does, and vice versa. I must say I was not the one with the foresight. It was the other boy's mum who saw that that friendship must be built from very young. Helping them get a few friends is another gift we can give. If you can find that for your child, then you've doubled your blessing on her.

[pingsped]

2ppaamm:

vlim:

hi 2ppaamm,

Did u send your kids to any IQ test (WISC IV)? If yes which clinic did u go to?

Hi vlim,

I don't believe in IQ test.

In short, after having done many IQ tests, his true IQ is still unknown. There's no real purpose of sending your kids for IQ tests.

Whether the child is from whichever part of the scale, no matter what IQ. Some experts can help with the disabilities here and there, but ultimately, the responsibility falls on our laps.

In my older children, I depended solely on my own research, then I thought I could depend on some experts for the younger ones. While I can learn some stuff here and there from these experts, I realized we hold the keys in the end. My initial instinct was right. I should never have swayed.

For example, the ones who function the best in gifted classrooms are those who score high in Perceptual and Verbal (high correlation), and the Processing Speed and Working Memory play a lesser role (low correlation). Because of the ceiling of 19 for each subtest, most EG kids above 10 will hit the ceiling for some subtests (meant for up to 17 years old). Without the extended subtests (I couldn't find them in Singapore), we cannot know their real IQ.

Hope this helps. Of course, if someone here knows of a specialist gifted psychologist, please let me know. I have some subtests that have been waiting to be completed since 2 years ago.

I read your post with a smile.

Perhaps you should ask why vlim wants an IQ test for his/her child. I stopped answering questions like that some time ago.

Most parents have no idea that PSLE, O levels, IQ test, etc. are not useful in screening out the top 1% of the cohort. It is difficult to explain to them fully. I just ask them if they like social skills training for their kids. They'll go, \"my child is very bright\", implying that their kids can't possibly be rude or something must be wrong with the teachers or other kids.

I stopped reading certain research unless I get stumped in my line of work. Counselling parents of gifted children required too much effort.

I'm surprised that the new WISC has developed separate norms for gifted kids. Thks for the link!

[vlim]

oh it is simply out of curousity to find out where do parents send their kids for IQ check though tentatively I have no intention to do so..

[2ppaamm]

pingsped:

2ppaamm:

[quote=\"vlim\"]hi 2ppaamm,

Did u send your kids to any IQ test (WISC IV)? If yes which clinic did u go to?

Hi vlim,

I don't believe in IQ test.

In short, after having done many IQ tests, his true IQ is still unknown. There's no real purpose of sending your kids for IQ tests.

Whether the child is from whichever part of the scale, no matter what IQ. Some experts can help with the disabilities here and there, but ultimately, the responsibility falls on our laps.

In my older children, I depended solely on my own research, then I thought I could depend on some experts for the younger ones. While I can learn some stuff here and there from these experts, I realized we hold the keys in the end. My initial instinct was right. I should never have swayed.

For example, the ones who function the best in gifted classrooms are those who score high in Perceptual and Verbal (high correlation), and the Processing Speed and Working Memory play a lesser role (low correlation). Because of the ceiling of 19 for each subtest, most EG kids above 10 will hit the ceiling for some subtests (meant for up to 17 years old). Without the extended subtests (I couldn't find them in Singapore), we cannot know their real IQ.

Hope this helps. Of course, if someone here knows of a specialist gifted psychologist, please let me know. I have some subtests that have been waiting to be completed since 2 years ago.

I read your post with a smile.

Perhaps you should ask why vlim wants an IQ test for his/her child. I stopped answering questions like that some time ago.

Most parents have no idea that PSLE, O levels, IQ test, etc. are not useful in screening out the top 1% of the cohort. It is difficult to explain to them fully. I just ask them if they like social skills training for their kids. They'll go, \"my child is very bright\", implying that their kids can't possibly be rude or something must be wrong with the teachers or other kids.

I stopped reading certain research unless I get stumped in my line of work. Counselling parents of gifted children required too much effort.

I'm surprised that the new WISC has developed separate norms for gifted kids. Thks for the link![/quote]Not sure. vlim has very bright kids. If vlim, your purpose is to test the child who is already in GEP, I think he is too old and too smart to be tested further given what we have in Singapore. The result will be exactly what MOE gave you, that he/she is top 1%. Then you need further tests (which are not available). If it is for a younger child, then maybe there is a point if you need intervention. Very bright children need intervention for sure in schools or at home.

[mommyNg]

2ppaamm:

This is because he has hit the ceiling for some tests (so we know he is higher than some percentile, but don't know exactly where), and I could not find a psychologist who could test him further.

Hi 2ppaamm,

Has your child done a Stanford-Binet Form L-M? Cos' only this test can differentiate between IQ 140 and 180, especially in your case where your child hits the ceiling for most tests. Also it is suitable for gifted children with learning disabilities. It's an old form of the Stanford-Binet, but still widely accepted as a valid test to differentiate between a highly gifted and moderately gifted child. If you haven't had that, you should ask a psychologist for it.

Hope this helps!

[2ppaamm]

jedamum:

2ppaamm,
i'm sure all your kids are gifted in their own way and some of their early achievements are pretty impressive. Playing them down as been normal just makes us normal folks seem irrelevant. i strongly believe that genes play a big part in giftedness and you are one gifted mummy who chose to have 5 kids. Kudos!

Hi Jedamum, haven't 'seen' you around for some time (I was the one missing). Somehow, I believe to be accepted as normal is a gift. When a child excels, the difficulty he gets around him is so hard to bear. The other parents, the teachers, the principal, the friends (except that few good friends), sometimes, their own siblings.

I believe it is much more blessed if we can churn out great ordinary children who will do extraordinary things. That'll be my motto, for my children, for my students.

[2ppaamm]

mommyNg:

2ppaamm:

This is because he has hit the ceiling for some tests (so we know he is higher than some percentile, but don't know exactly where), and I could not find a psychologist who could test him further.

Hi 2ppaamm,

Has your child done a Stanford-Binet Form L-M? Cos' only this test can differentiate between IQ 140 and 180, especially in your case where your child hits the ceiling for most tests. Also it is suitable for gifted children with learning disabilities. It's an old form of the Stanford-Binet, but still widely accepted as a valid test to differentiate between a highly gifted and moderately gifted child. If you haven't had that, you should ask a psychologist for it.

Hope this helps!

There's only one psychologist in Singapore who can do this S-B test when I asked 3 years ago, the rest only administer WISC IV.

Also, it is not critical for me to do another IQ test just to know his IQ. I just want to complete the test we did halfway and submit that. Your info will be really good for those who want to test their kids beyond 160. I don't know if it was SB LM, I thought the psychologist told me she was doing SB V.

[Blobbi]

vlim:

hi 2ppaamm,

Did u send your kids to any IQ test (WISC IV)? If yes which clinic did u go to?

I tell you how I felt when we first did the test.

At first, it was wow! Nice! What a buzz. Then there were all these books to read about how to deal with kids like that at home. I felt like I struck gold because finally, there was this group of people who understood what I had to go through everyday just talking him round to having a meal or going to school for that one day. I could get help!!

2 years later, I'm like huh, what's that? So what? Git back here - you're not touching that computer/book/comic till you've finished your meal.

Moral of the story - the label is useful especially when you run into problems, and we've had so many! LIke any other label, it gives you a common understanding and a place to start searching for answers. But on a day to day basis, it's back to basics for discipline, same as for anyone. My son can do what others can't in some areas, and other kids can do miles more than he can in many others. Isn't that the same for everyone? It really doesn't matter. The son's mine. I've got to cater to his individual needs.

The scores don't matter if he hasn't picked up the right attitude towards life and learning anyway. I just have to make sure that he does.