Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?
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buds:
It is alright to spill but here is the mop for you to clean up the mess! I am sure that will work very well too!2ppaamm:
Just like the word 'no', if we keep saying 'no', the kids will do everything they want regardless of your 'no's', so I try to say yes to most things but when it is a no, it is a strict NO.
I agree. :hi5:
It's a case of positive reinforcement...
Like if the child is usually spilling his drinks on the way to the kitchen sink..
You're always saying don't spill... don't spill and yet it still spills.. :roll:
But when you say, please carry the cup properly... it doesn't spill.
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LKVM:
Its so much fun learning different things when discussing here... but yes different strokes for different folks... :celebrate: :hugs:
I'm really late to this thread but am throwing some cyber moral support your way, Lkvm.
Am completely on yr side as I think more or tougher discipline simply means the kids acclimatize to a different level.
Maybe we all have different kids, and we each know what works best for them.
:celebrate: -
Yap Blobbi that's right.. if one can discipline kids without the cane then
why not? As long as they're disciplined right from young and know rite
from wrong, any strokes that works for the different folks do work.
Children are all born different. Just that some of us feel sparing the rod
spoils the child. :evil: There were some parents i spoke to who said,
better we cane them now (for grave offences of course) rather
than next time somebody else does it for us, touch wood.
I've seen parents who still use the slow talk hug hug sayang sayang
method on their children when they spit at the teachers' and friends'
faces when they don't get things done their way... and beat their
friends for no reason and topple or mess up all their toys. Not
even a scolding. :roll: They actually even slap their moms
when they are being advised.. how like that?
Parents must also know where to draw the line between something
that will not be tolerated and something that can still be counselled.
But that again is my personal opinion.. cannot let them go too far
without proper discipline and firmness of rules.
Haven't seen you around much, Blobbi... :hugs:
Hope everything's fine at your end.. -
Aiyo buds, you hit it so well on the head.
Yah I can’t stand badly behaved children too! Your post really gnawed at me cos I can visualize the occasions I’ve seen what you said in action. Eeew!!
My take on it is, children are born into this world without any sense of morals. They want certain things and they’ll do what it takes. As parents, we have to be there to guide them. We’re the first line of warning, beyond which they’ll learn anyway in the real world, but in a much harsher way. If not now, definitely later. Kids also feel really safe when they keep bumping against limits which don’t falter. So when we’re firm, we have to be really firm.
I really don’t know how it is with other kids. But I agree - it really is situational. My son’s class had a severe bullying case earlier this year. If I were the bully’s mother, and because the situation had deteriorated to such an extent, I’m not sure if I wouldn’t have used the paddle. If you had heard the defensiveness of the parents when things broke, you wouldn’t have been surprised by how things spun out of control. -
Just curious, till what age will you still use a cane on your child?
I have heard from one parent, he is still using the cane on his teenage boy.
The boy goes to a top school. He told me this is the way to make his child discipline in his study. -
Moderator's note:
The post written by new user Tapez is embargoed. Please note that it is illegal to administer caning to girls in schools or even in jail. While there is no law against caning girls in the privacy of homes, human decency should prevail over such an activity, especially if it involves teenagers. To administer such a punishment in such an awful manner is way out of line.
Tapez, assuming the event really happened, we hope that your daughter has not been permanently scarred by what you did to her. We appeal to you to reflect on your actions and think whether this is something that normal parents would do to their own children.
What you did can also be construed as a criminal offense under the Singapore Penal Code, as pointed out by KSP member Fettucine. If this turns out to be a criminal case, we are prepared to work with the authorities to bring you to justice.
Singapore Penal Code
For the offender:
Chapter XVI: Offences affecting the human body
# Assault or use of criminal force with intent to outrage modesty – Whoever assaults or uses criminal force to any person, intending to outrage or knowing it to be likely that he will thereby outrage the modesty of that person, shall be punished with imprisonment for up to two years, or a fine, or caning, or any two of such punishments.[66] This offence is sometimes inaccurately termed 'molest' by the media. If, in order to commit or to facilitate the commission of the offence, a person voluntarily causes or attempts to cause to that person death, or hurt, or wrongful restraint, or fear of instant death, instant hurt or instant wrongful restraint, the punishment is imprisonment of not less than two years and not more than ten years with caning.[67] If the offence is committed in a lift in any building, or against any person under 14 years of age, the punishment is imprisonment for not less than three years and not more than ten years and caning.[68]
For anyone that abets the offence:
Chapter V: Abetment
* Abetment – A person abets the doing of a thing when he or she —
(a) instigates any person to do that thing;
(b) engages with one or more other person or persons in any conspiracy for the doing of that thing, if an act or illegal omission takes place in pursuance of that conspiracy, and in order to the doing of that thing; or
(c) intentionally aids, by any act or illegal omission, the doing of that thing.[27]
Whoever abets any offence shall, if the act abetted is committed in consequence of the abetment, and no express provision is made by the Penal Code for the punishment of such abetment, be punished with the punishment provided for the offence.[28] -
ChiefKiasu:
I understand the need to embargo the posting.Moderator's note:
The post written by new user Tapez is embargoed. Please note that it is illegal to administer caning to girls in schools or even in jail. While there is no law against caning girls in the privacy of homes, human decency should prevail over such an activity, especially if it involves teenagers. To administer such a punishment in such an awful manner is way out of line.
Tapez, assuming the event really happened, we hope that your daughter has not been permanently scarred by what you did to her. We appeal to you to reflect on your actions and think whether this is something that normal parents would do to their own children.
What you did can also be construed as a criminal offense under the Singapore Penal Code, as pointed out by KSP member Fettucine. If this turns out to be a criminal case, we are prepared to work with the authorities to bring you to justice.
Singapore Penal Code
For the offender:
Chapter XVI: Offences affecting the human body
# Assault or use of criminal force with intent to outrage modesty – Whoever assaults or uses criminal force to any person, intending to outrage or knowing it to be likely that he will thereby outrage the modesty of that person, shall be punished with imprisonment for up to two years, or a fine, or caning, or any two of such punishments.[66] This offence is sometimes inaccurately termed 'molest' by the media. If, in order to commit or to facilitate the commission of the offence, a person voluntarily causes or attempts to cause to that person death, or hurt, or wrongful restraint, or fear of instant death, instant hurt or instant wrongful restraint, the punishment is imprisonment of not less than two years and not more than ten years with caning.[67] If the offence is committed in a lift in any building, or against any person under 14 years of age, the punishment is imprisonment for not less than three years and not more than ten years and caning.[68]
For anyone that abets the offence:
Chapter V: Abetment
* Abetment – A person abets the doing of a thing when he or she —
(a) instigates any person to do that thing;
(b) engages with one or more other person or persons in any conspiracy for the doing of that thing, if an act or illegal omission takes place in pursuance of that conspiracy, and in order to the doing of that thing; or
(c) intentionally aids, by any act or illegal omission, the doing of that thing.[27]
Whoever abets any offence shall, if the act abetted is committed in consequence of the abetment, and no express provision is made by the Penal Code for the punishment of such abetment, be punished with the punishment provided for the offence.[28]
Can I just stress that Tapez posted that he just stumbled upon such posting and that he was the one who caned his teenage daughter. Am I right, Tapez? -
david59:
Dear david59, thank you for seeking clarification. According to the intro of Tapez's post repeated verbatim below, Tapez was responding and referring the 2ppaamm's post about her caning of her daughter. The post was about his personal experience caning his 14 year old daughter. There is no mistake.I understand the need to embargo the posting.
Can I just stress that Tapez posted that he just stumbled upon such posting and that he was the one who caned his teenage daughter. Am I right, Tapez?
\"I just stumbled upon this post. Like to share some of my thoughts/experiences. After reading your post I guess I am not all that child abuser.
We use the cane on our daughter. The last time I had to use the cane was when she was 14. We make it clear to them since young that we do not tolerate throwing their temper and insisting on buying things when we go out. The absolute NO-NO is being rude to us. ... \" -
We usually do the caning on their hands.
Caning is not advisable when a child has reached 12yrs old. Best to stop at 10yrs. I think this will affect them in the growing stage. Of course prior to caning, counsel them first. Just in case, you cane them for the wrong reason. -
chatelaine:
My ds is 6 and I think he's too mature to be caned already. Nowadays kids mature so fast that caning is no longer the best method imho. In fact, think I only use the cane a couple of times on him and that's when he was 3 or 4. For ds, reasoning & time-outs are much more effective once he achieved a certain level of maturity.We usually do the caning on their hands.
Caning is not advisable when a child has reached 12yrs old. Best to stop at 10yrs. I think this will affect them in the growing stage. Of course prior to caning, counsel them first. Just in case, you cane them for the wrong reason.
He used to fight with his classmates in kindy but has since stopped after I told him to say no to violence. Nowadays he doesn't reiterate phyiscally when being beaten (which still happens quite often :roll: ). So it's hypocritical of me if I preach to him the virtue of non-violence but do otherwise.
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