Di Zi Gui 弟子规

[smurf]

[Editor's note: There is http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=95&t=32242 on the mechanics of learning 弟子规.]


Yesterday I was reading di zi GUI to ds1 who is going to be 6. There is a paragraph which teaches ru ze xiao, sorry I dunno how to type Chinese.

Basically it means when parents call us, we must response immediately and not dilly dally to answer them, if parents want us to do something, we must do it fast, cannot be lazy, when parents scold us, we must not talk back, etc.

Then ds1 asked me, then why u scold me? Do u know you dun have manners when u scold me?

I dunno how to answer him. How to teach him, I also dunno.

[corneyAmber]

I think your child is mistaken.


In the ang mo world, in the family, they teach manners.

In the chinese family, we teach 孝(filial) and manners. So those phrases you taught are refering to 孝(filial) and he will get that when he becomes a father. I will explain that way to him.

It is generally assumed no NORMAL parents will not deserve 孝(filial) from the children. I do not think the ancient sage took dysfunctional parents who can abuse their young into consideration then. In any case, your child is not challenging dysfunctional parents but I think today's children really do not understand this word called \"孝顺\".

When this was tested in the exam, no one in the entire cohort used this term except a China Chinese girl. Sad?? Some food for thought.

[pingering]

smurf:

Yesterday I was reading di zi GUI to ds1 who is going to be 6. There is a paragraph which teaches ru ze xiao, sorry I dunno how to type Chinese.

入则孝. Just curious:-) How did you managed to type 弟子规 for the subject?

smurf:

Basically it means when parents call us, we must response immediately and not dilly dally to answer them, if parents want us to do something, we must do it fast, cannot be lazy, when parents scold us, we must not talk back, etc.

I'm not sure about other kids, but I sure am having a lot of problems with regards to this! It takes forever to get my kids to take action, and more often than not, it would depend on their \"mood\". If they are in the mood, the results are usually very good (they react right away, especially if we are playing some game with them, like saying 'let's see who can keep the toys first ...') But if they are not in the 'mood', then it can get really exasperating. You talk to them nicely, they don't act. Then when you start nagging or shouting at them, they react (either grudgingly, or worse, by kicking up a scene by crying etc).

smurf:

Then ds1 asked me, then why u scold me? Do u know you dun have manners when u scold me? I dunno how to answer him. How to teach him, I also dunno.

Kids today are very smart aren't they? They are very quick to apply knowledge! If you look on the bright side, this response is actually quite good cos it shows your son knows how to apply knowledge, rather than simply accept at face value just because dad/mum say so. It's like them questioning us how come we can punish or beat them but they cannot beat us in turn, or the big one cannot beat the younger one, or how come we can watch adult/violent movies whereas they cannot, or how come I can drink coffee but they can't .. the list goes on and on...

For me, I usually resort to using the 'bcos I'm your parent\" or \"bcos I'm an adult\". Works most of the time

[pingering]

ksi:

When this was tested in the exam, no one in the entire cohort used this term except a China Chinese girl. Sad?? Some food for thought.

What is this exam? can elaborate?

[duriz]

祖宗虽远，祭祀不可不诚。子孙虽愚，经书不可不读。


俗云：「教儿初孩，教妇初来」，儿童天性未染污前，善言易入；先入为主，及其长而不易变；故人之善心、信心，须在幼小时培养；凡为人父母者，在其子女幼小时，即当教以读诵经典，以培养其根本智慧及定力；更晓以因果报应之理，敦伦尽分之道；若幼小时不教，待其长大，则习性已成，无能为力矣！

When my father read us《弟子规》, he also highlighted to us about 八者俱忘也，称为“忘八端”or “王八蛋”。

古时的“八端”批“孝、悌、忠、信、礼、义、廉、耻”，此“八端”为做人之本，忘记了这八端即忘记了做人的根本，那忘记“八端”的人即被骂为“忘八端”。或许是因为“王八蛋”比“忘八端”更为通俗易懂的缘故吧，后来，“忘八端”这一俗语竟被以讹传讹变成 “王八蛋”了。

上述“八端”大致可分为四个层面：

第一、\"义\"与\"忠\"

\"义\"——人间正道的向导，是道德灵魂，是道德精神境界和价值导向；
\"忠\"——尽己报国的责任，是道德核心，是道德自觉意识和价值目标。

第二、\"悌\"与\"信\"

\"悌\"——兄弟姊妹的友爱， 是道德情感，是道德情感基础和价值动源
\"信\"——立身兴业的基点，是道德品质，是道德人格要求和经济价值。

第三、\"礼\"与\"廉\"

\"礼\"——人际文明的规范，是道德品质，是道德外在表现和文明价值；
\"廉\"——清白正气的根基，是道德良心，是道德外在表现和政治价值。

第四、\"孝\"与\"耻\"

\"孝\"—— 生生不息的爱心，是道德情感，是道德情感基础和价值动源；
\"耻\"——人之为人的底线，是道德心理，是道德心理基础和价值选择。

[tankee]

pingering:

smurf:

Yesterday I was reading di zi GUI to ds1 who is going to be 6. There is a paragraph which teaches ru ze xiao, sorry I dunno how to type Chinese.

入则孝. Just curious:-) How did you managed to type 弟子规 for the subject?
....................

I am the one who amended the topic subject and added the chinese text.

[pingering]

tankee:

I am the one who amended the topic subject and added the chinese text.

That's a good one!

[smurf]

Thanks Tankee for the amendment to the tpoic! Hee...


Ya, I think filial (xiao) is the word. I used that word, but he doesn't seem to understand what it means. And I Dunno how to explain to him. :?

And he is going to ang mo school next year, lagi worse.


By the way, out of topic, how to type Chinese in iPad ha?? :?

[tankee]

smurf:

?....



By the way, out of topic, how to type Chinese in iPad ha?? :?

Settings -> General -> keyboard -> international -> add keyboard

Choose either \"Chinese PinYin\" or \"Chinese Handwriting\"

I like the handwriting

[smurf]

Thanks Tankee! :celebrate: