Vexed.... wat to do?
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qizai:
hi qizai.. i only heard that my boss is one who defends own workers and we can always approaches him for anything. my immediate supervisor is a direct person.. i dunno whether he's e sympathetic type.
My earlier advice is actually more suitable for really-hard core lechers who go around touching girls, with plenty of evidence in hand.
Yup, evidence is an issue, and it could get awkward for you. But you know what, he may be banking on this to get away with it. He's like North Korea. Fire some missiles, and still want to press on with it. Now, you must act a bit like South Korea. Bark bark a little, but keep away from real retaliation for the time being. Better still, get a big brother United States to help you. How about your immediate superior? Is he sympathetic?
When the crunch comes to deciding who's right and wrong, if the boss is not the ultra righteous or the weak weak type, contract may not be renewed.
Well, friendliness is not a sin. But some people tend to take advantage of it. It's an experience. Size up guys, before you get too friendly with them.
I do realize some women I talk to are very straight faced and unfriendly at first, but become friendlier later because I guess maybe I don't seem to them like the wolf type. So maybe this is a good defence tactic for you?
usually, i do not talk much in e office cos i'm e quiet type... i only open up to those i can trust and comfortable with. mebe i should ask that sicko to wake up and look in e mirror! does he want his daughter to be harrassed too??
i can only think of askin a collic to stay in e office with mi when tt sicko comin back so he dun tok rubbish. but i dunno how to kai kou...
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northernstar:
Your immediate superior is the first person you should talk to first, otherwise he wouldn't look good if you talk to the boss straightaway. Sound him out first. See if he's sympathetic.
hi qizai.. i only heard that my boss is one who defends own workers and we can always approaches him for anything. my immediate supervisor is a direct person.. i dunno whether he's e sympathetic type.
usually, i do not talk much in e office cos i'm e quiet type... i only open up to those i can trust and comfortable with. mebe i should ask that sicko to wake up and look in e mirror! does he want his daughter to be harrassed too??
i can only think of askin a collic to stay in e office with mi when tt sicko comin back so he dun tok rubbish. but i dunno how to kai kou...
Next time, if he calls you Darling again, maybe you can shoot him \"your daughter got uncle your age call her darling in her school or not\"?
Asking colleague to stay with you is a good prevention measure, but maybe it's also good to concurrently talk to your superior too.
All the best! -
thanks to all who reply here… i feel slightly better and roughly noe what i shd do. now only left own courage to carry out anot… haiz…
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I found this article online.
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Current sexual harassment laws adequate
Tue, Apr 27, 2010
AsiaOne
The Ministry of Home Affairs concluded in Parliament on Monday the current sexual harassment laws are adequate to deal with such cases and provide enough protection for women against sexual harassment.
Minister for Home Affairs, Mr. Wong Kan Seng, said that at the moment, when a report of a sexual harassment is lodged, the police will conduct initial investigation and interview relevant parties.
He said this in a written response to Mdm. Halimah Yacob’s questions of how many people have been prosecuted for sexual harassment in the last five years and whether there is a need to strengthen this law to ensure better protection for women against sexual harassment.
Click here to find out more!Click here to find out more!
Under section 13A or 13B of the Miscellaneous Offences (Public Order and Nuisance) Act, offenders may be prosecuted for incidents of using threatening or abusive words, or displays of writing, signs or visual representations in order to cause harassment, alarm or distress.
Police will further classify the case under section 354 or section 509 of the Penal Code if the victim’s modesty had been outraged through assault or use of criminal force or through a word or gesture that is intended to insult the modesty of a woman.
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I agree with all the posts so far. Threadstarter should take a firm stance against this ‘over-friendly’ colleague.
Do you have other female superiors or bosses in the office that you can confide with? I do acknowledge it is quite hard to broach this type of issues with a male boss.
But don’t let that chap keep harrassing you. Put your foot on the ground. The law is on your side.
Go for it!! -
Tell him you are not comfortable with what he is doing, and the next time he does it, you will report him to HR. You deserve a peaceful working environment and his harassment is not warranted.
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I had such a colleague before. He calls me ‘baobei’.
Told him NICELY at first that I’m not comfortable with it cos I’m MARRIED and that is only reserved for my husband to call me.
He still continued, but now only when others are not around (which is pretty often since we both stay back late to do work).
My supervisor at that time is totally useless. When I told her about it, all she said was,"You sure you so attractive?"
Anyway, what I did after that was to EMAIL my supervisor to inform her about what is happening and also to let her know that I will be talking to HIS SUPERVISOR personally about this. I CC that male colleague in my email to my supervisor.
After that, it stopped. I still talk to him and maintain colleague-relationship but at least that ‘baobei’ thing stopped.
Maybe it was because he saw how close I was with another male colleague (my good friend - my hubs knows him too).
I call him ‘Ah Pek’ and he calls me ‘Auntie’. & we go out for lunch/dinner/supper/KTV/drinks very often (but my hubs and another female colleague & her hubs always joins us).
Think the other male colleague was trying to ‘break into the clique’?
Anyway, I don’t even know him well and he start calling people ‘baobei’. Nonsensical.
Just do what you have to do. Warn him one last time and let him know that you intend to let your boss & his boss know about this if he refuses to stop. Even if he thinks that you are too serious, you just remind him that you are NOT his friend, and you choose to be serious at work.
It will help if you have witnesses or can get evidence of the harrassment in case it blows up into a big case (e.g. your boss wants you to make police report). -
i used to be disturbed by this male colleague. he always talk to me in a cheeky tone & whenever he sees me goes to the toilet he will follow me, trying to grab a chance to talk to me, even wait for me outside the toilet. he’s married with 2 teenage kids. once he show me a pic of his dog, stand very near to me & all the sudden touch somewhere close to my chest, i was in shock! i stopped him & quickly walk away. i was so upset i told my hubby abt it, he advise me to talk to my boss.
endup i had enough i told all my colleagues, my HR & my HOD abt him. fortunately they knew how ‘perverted’ he was, they all gang up & scolded him for harassing me, my HR even ask the boss is tat male colleague very free, why always go around distrub women in the office. after this incident some of my colleagues told me when theres no one around he will disturb some female colleagues like how he did to me.
my HOD even told me to shout at him if he comes near to me. from then on, whenever he talks to me rubbish or in a cheeky tone i will talk loudly to him if he dares to disturb me i will tell the big boss. so far so good, now he left me alone, although at times he will still try his luck but i juz ignore him or give him a FIERCE STARE. -
mummyJune:
He touched you?i used to be disturbed by this male colleague. he always talk to me in a cheeky tone & whenever he sees me goes to the toilet he will follow me, trying to grab a chance to talk to me, even wait for me outside the toilet. he's married with 2 teenage kids. once he show me a pic of his dog, stand very near to me & all the sudden touch somewhere close to my chest, i was in shock! i stopped him & quickly walk away. i was so upset i told my hubby abt it, he advise me to talk to my boss.
endup i had enough i told all my colleagues, my HR & my HOD abt him. fortunately they knew how 'perverted' he was, they all gang up & scolded him for harassing me, my HR even ask the boss is tat male colleague very free, why always go around distrub women in the office. after this incident some of my colleagues told me when theres no one around he will disturb some female colleagues like how he did to me.
my HOD even told me to shout at him if he comes near to me. from then on, whenever he talks to me rubbish or in a cheeky tone i will talk loudly to him if he dares to disturb me i will tell the big boss. so far so good, now he left me alone, although at times he will still try his luck but i juz ignore him or give him a FIERCE STARE.
You could have made a Police report already. He would likely have been convicted of outrage of modesty.
The law is very strict on this. Outrage of modesty is a super serious offence. -
hi noobparent, tks for ur acticle.. so far we did not have any physical contact and i also tried to avoid that. i do not have other female colleagues or boss unfortunately.
hi 3Boys, i wont report to HR but i will report to my supervisor first and sees how it goes after i warn this pervert and he doesn'tt stop his nonsense.
hi mrswongtuition, tks for sharing ur story.. so far he 'anyhow' calls mi when no one is around so i do not have any witness.
hi mummyJune, tks for sharing ur experience.. u're so lucky to have such gd colleagues who cooperate 2 help u. are they all men or women? like qizai mentioned, shouting and staring at tis kind of sicko dun help much
so i must have some ACTION.
i reli appreciate all of your advices
will update u all if he continues his behavior tks all 
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noobparent= ya but he apologised after i stopped him. i did told my HOD abt this matter, she told me if he does it again she will let the big boss know.
northernstar= yes, im fortunate to ve good colleagues cos my office has more female den male, the male colleagues are not usually in the office.
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