not on talking terms with hubby
-
Yes, I am still working ...everyday ...I am like a MAD LADY.... :imdrowning:
If not where to get money....spouse has lots of $$$...
but will not share.... :moneyflies:
I wish I have more than 24 hours each day....
I always put my family interest above mine.... :grphug:
But after all I am a human being, so doing all these sometimes make me very depressed....and angry with life.... :stupid:
Tell me how do you feel as a NON-Christian, when you slaught for the family...like now:
A)Spouse diagnose with Cancer since 2009 ....Instead of thanking His Lord for giving him a good Wife for taking Care of him...
He said it is GOD who healed HIM....
GOD did mircale to him.... :siao:
What about the DOCs who cure him....???
Who empty his bag of Shit when he had to carry a temporay bag of excretion...???GOD???
Who sponge him when he has high temperature??? GOD???
Who went to search for medication when his tongue is infected with uclers and fungus...??/GOD???
Who goes to the market early morning to ensure he gets fresh food....???God??
Who accompany him for his medical appointments???...GOD...
I tired of HOW GREAT he think of his GOD.... :rant:
IF I do not do above endless things/tasks for him...he thinks he can get well?
Somtimes I feel like running away...and LET his GOD handle it...
NOW I just want to nurse him back....and WE Get go our separate way....
Throughout the 18 years of marriage....I cannot think of anything Great he has done for me.... :shock:
I am always the GIVER ...and he is the RECEIVER... :x
He is obesses with his money and now HIS MIGHTLY GOD....
HE is willing to wake up early to serve GOD , instead of help me run daily errands.... :stupid:
I just so TIRED and FED UP.... :faint:
But as a Buddhist , I know it is not RIGHT to leave him now.... :siam:
But it is important to let his mother and all his siblings know why I refused to convert to Christian.... :?:
What he has done to me did not touch me to convert to Christian....
All he has given me is mental torturing... :pokeeye:
I told his Family members , I am a time BOMB ...anytime can explode... :slapshead:
For now , I can endure...I endure...I never quarrel with him...my GIRLS know my sufferings... :imconstipated:
I told them learned from Mummy mistakes and do not repeat....
:hugs: -
dolphinsiah,
have you ever shared your feelings with your husband the way you share them on this forum?
You may need to hold him accountable and demand due consideration from him. In the Christian tradition, husbands are commanded to love their wives, demand that love and respect from him that you deserve.
I am sorry for your situation, it makes for painful reading. You are understandably bitter, but I hope you do not put your daughters off relationships and marriage because of your own experience, I can why their psyche may be damaged by what they see and hear. -
Good morning Insider,
How to make demand from him... :?
a)When he think I am a SIN...being a NON Christian
b)Before he is SICK ...he takes me for granted.... :x
Just care for himself /Golf/Expensive and Branded Stuffs...
So how to communicate....
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tracytmks:
feel very frust n stressful wenever he is at hm. he not fit to b call as daddy he all these years he never contribute a single cents for my kids education milk powder, pampers etc. dont think he is fits to b call as daddy for my child. feel so much being cheated by him ao stupid of me to believe him. now i was drag into it n owe the banks some sum of money. he promise this year end can pay me some money til now nothing never ever believe in him again. anyone like to share their experience
Hi,
I know how u feel, cause I happened to be in your husband state a few years back. Cause I got cheated and heavily in debt.
U didn't share with us about your hubby job or situation that cause this. And I don't get the part that u were drag into.
Our prayer be with u. Just be strong, your child need u at most now.
Regards -
dolphinsiah:
Christians believe in GOD's miracle and miracles happened to those who believed in HIM. But I don't want to argue about this
A)Spouse diagnose with Cancer since 2009 ....Instead of thanking His Lord for giving him a good Wife for taking Care of him...
He said it is GOD who healed HIM....
GOD did mircale to him.... :siao:
[quote]What about the DOCs who cure him....???
Who empty his bag of Shit when he had to carry a temporay bag of excretion...???GOD???
Who sponge him when he has high temperature??? GOD???
Who went to search for medication when his tongue is infected with uclers and fungus...??/GOD???
Who goes to the market early morning to ensure he gets fresh food....???God??
Who accompany him for his medical appointments???...GOD...
I tired of HOW GREAT he think of his GOD.... :rant:
IF I do not do above endless things/tasks for him...he thinks he can get well?
Somtimes I feel like running away...and LET his GOD handle it...
NOW I just want to nurse him back....and WE Get go our separate way....
Throughout the 18 years of marriage....I cannot think of anything Great he has done for me.... :shock:
I am always the GIVER ...and he is the RECEIVER... :x
He is obesses with his money and now HIS MIGHTLY GOD....
HE is willing to wake up early to serve GOD , instead of help me run daily errands.... :stupid:
I just so TIRED and FED UP.... :faint: [/quote]At these parts....... I think your hubby didn't really learn about a real christianity or maybe he didn't get a chance to learn more
About the DOCS, I may say that God do the miracles thru their skills BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE is GOD SENT YOU AS HIS WIFE 18 YEARS AGO. You are a strong lady and really, I think everyone in KSP would agree with me.
[quote]But as a Buddhist , I know it is not RIGHT to leave him now.... :siam:
[/quote]This the PROOF that you are strong and you are MORE CHRISTIAN than some of those who claim that they are christians
[quote]What he has done to me did not touch me to convert to Christian....
All he has given me is mental torturing... :pokeeye: [/quote]I think you do not need to convert. As a christian we are taught to live as alike as Jesus. And it's not easy at all.
With the quality you've got. You are doing of what actually Jesus asked His followers to do.
[quote]For now , I can endure...I endure...I never quarrel with him...my GIRLS know my sufferings... :imconstipated:
I told them learned from Mummy mistakes and do not repeat....
:hugs:[/quote]For this, please really please be wise... You may ask them to learn from your mistake, but please don't let them learn to hate their father. He is still their father, right?
Praying for you and family. May one day to come all of you be healed and live in peace and harmony as you plan 18 years ago.
-
[/quote]
b) He is what he is now coz of your past indulgence / leniency towards him and so now more or less you are reaping your own fruit. If you could not take his nonsense in the past, you should have corrected him then. If you had allowed them, then too bad it is just part of him. Personally I don't really take cancer as a very serious illness now coz I have seen so many people having it that it maybe just like a common disease soon. Stick with him if things are tolerable. Leave him if you think that he is turning you crazy and kids are suffering.
PS:Don't criticise his religion please. Christianity itself is a good religion per se with many teachings similar to Buddhism. The issues lie with some Christians for not being able to carry out the teachings in the correct manner that bring pain to some others. The more you want to say about his religion, the more you will get your own being attacked.
To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction; or, the mutual actions of two bodies upon each other are always equal, and directed to contrary parts.
- Newton's Third Law of Motion[/quote]
20 years ago when I marry him ....I did not know the true Colors of him...being so arrogrant....so selfish.... :!:
I choose to endure him because of my girls....I do not quarrel ...because I do not want my girls to be affected...
My mom always said why I always give way to him....
My plan was to leave him when the girls become independent....
As a Buddhist , I do not Critize other religion...I accept the existence Jesus , Allah,Hindu Gods...
It is my spouse who insisted that Buddha is Devil & Evil...causing him to have Cancer.... :slapshead:
He said as a Head of Family he does not allow the existence of 2 GODS...
For me not to follow him as a Christian....is a SIN.... :rant:
What can I say to a sick patient....but just told his mom and siblings I have my limits.... :x
I know for the theory \"To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction\"...
If my spouse for the past 20 years had taken care of me...I would be now totally be lost/decasted and crying....
when he is daignosed with Cancer....
But I did not ...everybody was surprise ...why I did not broke down...
Because in my world he only play a minor role...a father to my 2 girls....
If my Spouse had not brought up the issue on Buddha ..being evil and Devil...I would not feel so hurt... :heartbroken:
Since this issue has surface ...I know it is very tough for me to live with him anymore.... :gloomy:
After all I am a human...and human have limits...
Now I just need to help to him recover.... -
dolphinsiah,
I empathize with your situation.
Your husband seems like a spoilt brat who is always blaming you for everything.
From what I gather, your plan is to leave him when your girls are independent. But from now to then, it's still some way to go. And along the way, things became worse because he's now sick and \"beyond reproach\" when he throws his tantrums at you.
From a Buddhist point of view, cancer is easily explained through the law of cause and effect, or karma.
From a Christian's point of view, it's part of God's plan, although not many people can take it kindly to that.
I don't know your situation enough, but honestly, I seriously think it's time to give him a real piece of your mind. Maybe that would be the best thing that will happen to him in the last 10 years. He really needs to see you don't owe him anything that allows him to take you for granted like that. Maybe that's God's plan for him.
You need to be happier so that your girls would be happier too. Time to knock some sense into the big baby. :x
Take care.. -
qizai:
dolphinsiah,dolphinsiah,
I empathize with your situation.
Your husband seems like a spoilt brat who is always blaming you for everything.
You need to be happier so that your girls would be happier too. Time to knock some sense into the big baby. :x
Take care..
You need to find real peace in you to handle this, if not it draining on
you.
Take care and find peace within yourself .you are a good person. -
Hi
Religion only teaches us to be good and gives us the guidance on what to do and what not to do.
It is our human failings that does not enable us to interpret the right things and to display the right manner.
Even the top religion leaders have problems (eg Ming Yi saga, Roman Catholics priests, etc) not to talk about simple human beings like us struggling to make ends meet or struggling to understand the complexities in life.
Most important is we are at peace with ourselves. You know what you ought to do and what not to do. Like the chinese saying goes,
ε―Ήη衷倩ε°θ―εΏ
Actually also going through a difficult time myself but I think I want to see my kids happy. When they are happy, I think everything else is worth it. (Of course had gone through lots of doubts and whatsoever before reaching this conclusionβ¦)
"For God so loved the world He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
I donβt think I can ever do that so I know that I will never be able to find a love greater than His but I will try to do the best that I can for the love of my life (which are my kids)
Hope this helps. -
insider:
This kind of psychological imprint is similar to those who are being abused during young times. They probably will tell themselves they will not hit their kids as bad as what their parents had hit them, but somehow they stand a higher chance of being abusers themselves when they grow up.
This statement is very true to my childhood best friend. She confided in me years ago that she was in some way \"mentally tortured\" by her mother. If she is \"stupid\" in her studies or she fought with her sibling, her mum will dunk her head in a pail of waters or squating toilet bowl. In her school days, I used to see alot of cane bloody marks on her hands and legs. This affected her quite alot as she used to be teased in school.
Now as a mother herself, although she constantly told herself that she won't does that to her own daughter. However subconsciously, she will inflict the same pain to her child as what her own mother did to her.
As a friend, I saw this and advise her to see a councellor. It is really painful for her. Yes, it is really quite pityful to repeated event. Till todate, she is still struggling and overcoming this hurdle.
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