Asian Mums are more SUPERIOR?

[autumnbronze]

Chenonceau:

My Objective
I don't need my kids to be the best in class... but I want them to be the best they can be. If what they can be is 80+, then fine... and seriously, The Daughter's class now is full of people who are so smart she and I feel stupid. That's fine. We're not as smart. And we don't need to be.

She got where she was not because she was smart, but because she was motivated. Motivation can get a child farther than a parent's best wishes and most beautiful dreams. The Daughter is no longer at the top of her class anymore, but that is fine because I know she has reached her potential and maybe even a little beyond. The same with Little Boy. I know he can manage 90+ in every subject if he wants to. Even Chinese.

The trick is to make them want to. And the first step is to turn the ownership of the study process over to them... and make them own it. This should be done early enough (I think). I have just sacked Grandma and turned the ownership of Chinese over to Little Boy. He used to roll his eyes when Grandma complained he was slow. Today, in the car, he said \"Mom, I have a problem. I am slow in my compo. Others have done 1.5 pages, I've only done 1.\"

He now owns his problem and I play the familar supportive role \"Oh never mind... you keep on reading those books and one day, the grades will come. I promise\" and I look at him with a confident smile. This way, he will keep on trying... and he will end up where he ends up in Chinese. And I will still be happy even if it isn't 90+.

Not the Only Approach
I consciously took an approach where I focused first on Foundational Study Skills to the detriment of grades. It worked for me. I am sure there are other parents who focused on both at the same time quite successfully. I am sharing my story because it isn't a usual approach, but it worked for me.

:goodpost: Chenonceau

Thank you so much for taking the time off to share your strategies with us.

Really enjoy reading and learning from them :celebrate: :celebrate:

[rosemummy]

tamarind:

My girl's report book shows the highest, mean and median. But I think that these are not enough to make the assumption that most students who scored 70s-80s will drop further in upper primary. We will need detailed results of each student to prove this work.

well, you can see that the median and mean will drop as they progress. The students in the top classes also don't change that much over the years. Those who don't do well in P1 / 2 usually stay that way. There're no lack of examples of those who improve and do much better in later years, but they remain the exception, which is why we read of some of these cases in the news. Those with significant improvements are given some awards (I think by Edusave) and the percentage of such students are low.

[tamarind]

rosemummy:

tamarind:

My girl's report book shows the highest, mean and median. But I think that these are not enough to make the assumption that most students who scored 70s-80s will drop further in upper primary. We will need detailed results of each student to prove this work.

well, you can see that the median and mean will drop as they progress. The students in the top classes also don't change that much over the years. Those who don't do well in P1 / 2 usually stay that way. There're no lack of examples of those who improve and do much better in later years, but they remain the exception, which is why we read of some of these cases in the news. Those with significant improvements are given some awards (I think by Edusave) and the percentage of such students are low.

I still do not think that there are enough facts and figures to support the statement that \"most student in the 70s-80s range will drop further\". It does not seem logical to me to make such assumptions. Anyway, no point arguing further.

[Chenonceau]

Hee!


AutumBronze, Shweppes & Rosemummy...

:grphug:

This site has quite the coolest emoticons!!

[rosemummy]

Chenonceau:

Hee!


AutumBronze, Shweppes & Rosemummy...

:grphug:

This site has quite the coolest emoticons!!

:hugs:

Btw, how old is your girl? I've a 17 year old year girl who's a sophomore in a US liberal arts college.

[rosemummy]

tamarind:

rosemummy:

[quote=\"tamarind\"]

My girl's report book shows the highest, mean and median. But I think that these are not enough to make the assumption that most students who scored 70s-80s will drop further in upper primary. We will need detailed results of each student to prove this work.

well, you can see that the median and mean will drop as they progress. The students in the top classes also don't change that much over the years. Those who don't do well in P1 / 2 usually stay that way. There're no lack of examples of those who improve and do much better in later years, but they remain the exception, which is why we read of some of these cases in the news. Those with significant improvements are given some awards (I think by Edusave) and the percentage of such students are low.

I still do not think that there are enough facts and figures to support the statement that \"most student in the 70s-80s range will drop further\". It does not seem logical to me to make such assumptions. Anyway, no point arguing further.[/quote]Yes, no point arguing. But just to clarify, what I've said is that the drop in mark is across the board, not just for those scoring in the 70 to 80 range. That is apparent from the grade trend given by the school. Those scoring in the 70s will drop to below 70 unless they buck the general trend.

[Chenonceau]

rosemummy:

Chenonceau:

Hee!


AutumBronze, Shweppes & Rosemummy...

:grphug:

This site has quite the coolest emoticons!!

:hugs:

Btw, how old is your girl? I've a 17 year old year girl who's a sophomore in a US liberal arts college.

She'll turn 18 this year.

[toddles]

This presents a more balanced view of Amy (Tiger) Chua.


http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/13/are-chinese-mothers-models-for-rest/

I guess she got to speak for herself instead of being presented in a certain way by WSJ to sell advertising space.

[Chenonceau]

toddles:

This presents a more balanced view of Amy (Tiger) Chua.


http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/13/are-chinese-mothers-models-for-rest/

I guess she got to speak for herself instead of being presented in a certain way by WSJ to sell advertising space.

She keeps repeating that the best way to build self-esteem (true rock solid confidence and courage to face all the difficulties life can throw you) is to help the child achieve what he/she thought impossible.

I absolutely embrace that.

WSJ portrayed her as threatening her child to not give up. That may or may not be true. Whatever it is, the principle of accompanying the child through his/her first failures and helping that child to realize that he or she can stare down failures to achieve what he/she thought impossible is a priceless psychological gift. This gift will see that child through to academic success (and life success) way beyond the years where a parent can no longer even understand the syllabus in school (and where a parent is too old to help the child through life).

Amy Chua got that right I think.

Don't underestimate your kids. Don't make excuses for them. Until they have tried long and hard, you won't know what they're made of. And don't help them too explicitly. They've gotta think THEY did it or it won't build character.

[kohhweelin.010441gmail.010441com]

Amy Chua’s article is published in today’s Straits Times under Review and Forum.