How to tell if a child is gifted?

[Happy Mama]

2ppaamm:

Happy Mama:

[Uni at the age of 14 is IMPRESSIVE!!! :celebrate:

Ha ha.. not sure impressive or not. Just like any child, going to university at whichever age, the child has his strengths and weaknesses. I guess, as parents, our tasks is to match their strengths with opportunities and help them overcome their weaknesses.

Always tough being a parent and we'll never know if we are doing the right thing or not... perhaps only on our dying bed?

Thanks for thinking my children are impressive. That gives a lot of encouragement and assurance! :celebrate:

You are just being sooooooooo humble

[adbie]

Parents of gifted children, you may be interested in the advice from a truly gifted child prodigy from Australia, Terence Tao.


He's now a grown up and has won the Fields Medal, which is the top honour for a mathematician. Some consider the Fields Medal even more prestigious than the Nobel Prize.

http://terrytao.wordpress.com/career-advice/advice-on-gifted-education/

[2ppaamm]

adbie:

Parents of gifted children, you may be interested in the advice from a truly gifted child prodigy from Australia, Terence Tao.


He's now a grown up and has won the Fields Medal, which is the top honour for a mathematician. Some consider the Fields Medal even more prestigious than the Nobel Prize.

http://terrytao.wordpress.com/career-advice/advice-on-gifted-education/

Terry Tao's father, Billy is an exceptionally gifted parent, and shared his insights. In one of his papers that many of our educators should really read, he quoted Roedell, \"Parents are often discouraged from voicing their views for fear of being seen as showing off and trumpet blowing. It is unfortunate that some of the more vocal and highly visible ones are the more controversial people who, although spectacular from the media point of view, often display an eccentric social or educational ideology that is not readily accepted by the general public. What we need is a good and sensible discussion on the possible roles that parents can actually play in the upbringing of gifted children, especially the subpopulation of the highly gifted (i.e. IQ greater than 170) who often have more emotional and adjustment problems than their less severely gifted counterparts. These children have more problems with uneven development, pressure from adult expectation, intense sensitivity, inappropriate environment, vulnerability to self-definition, role conflict, and alienation.\"

Unfortunately, our education system developed a gifted program, but cater mainly to the generally gifted of top 1%. They have left out the ones that need their help the most, the top 0.001% who really need their help to integrate into the society and exercise their giftedness. The top 1% are the blenders and socially adept ones who need no help in that aspect. Sometimes, we wonder why we have so many young geniuses at TMSS, but never a nobel prize winner from Singapore.

[mosster]

After stumbling on this thread after googling on giftedness, I read all your posts in the past 2 hours. Actually I devoured every comment and each of your comments gave me new hope for my 3 year old son. I have been so stressed and feeling so alone wondering what is the best thing to do for my son - homeschool? start nursery?

My DS1 started reading at 18 months and now at 3 years old, can read almost anything. of course, whether he understands it, is another thing altogether. At 2.5 yrs, he learnt to count in Japanese by himself while we were on holiday in Japan, by reading the English pronunciation from a tourist map while my hubby and I were unpacking in the hotel room. Seeing how he loved counting in a different language, we tried to ask our parents/filipina helpers etc to count to him in their dialect/languages. Since then, he’s learnt to count in 9 languages. After learning to count in the first few languages, he realised that after 20, the way the numbers are said/put together are the same. Soon after, he lost interest in counting in the different languages though he really loves counting. Recently, my dad introduced addition and subtraction to him and that’s his latest craze - giving himself maths questions/stories. I can’t remember even counting at 3, so I don’t know where he gets his great memory from. Well, that’s just some of the things he does, just to give you all a sense how he is.

In the beginning, I gave DS1 some flashcards, but most of the time, we read together. During meals, after meals, before bed, anytime. I worked half time so that I could spend more time with him. After seeing how my older colleagues stressed themselves over their kids only when they hit PSLE, I wanted to nurture my son to have a love for learning from the start, to have an open mind. After I gave birth to DS2, I stopped work altogether to spend time with the boys which was a blessing as DS2 turned out to have serious digestive issues.

DS1 is bright, funny and sweet, but his social skills are really behind. We had to train him, even now, to look us in the eye when he speaks. To join in the playground if there are other kids, he’d rather not go. He is an observer - he will not participate until he warms up, and that can take months. He doesn’t mix with other kids, not even his cousins who he sees every week. After attending some parent accompanied playgroup classes, finally after 3 semesters he can happily participate in class, instead of crying all the way and sticking like glue to me. However, since he’s now too old for that class, we are back to DS1 crying and sticking to me like glue in the new class. Recently, I started him on swimming lessons, and I am encouraged that he is, abeit reluctantly, having his class on his own with the instructor, without me.

My hubby and I have been thinking that perhaps sending him to a nursery would make him more independent and learn more social skills. Problem is all 5 schools we visited were not able/willing to adapt to his +s and -s. Even the school we finally settled on, we are taking a chance that they are truly as warm and adaptable as they claim. We know that, as in the playgroup that DS1 is already attending, he is not going to be learning much from nursery that he already knows in terms of head knowledge. I think if I teach him at home, he would probly learn more. All I’m hoping is in nursery school, he’ll pick up social skills, and hopefully not new bad habits! I feel like I’ve not morally prepared him for school!!

Am I overprotective? should I let him go to nursery, knowing he’ll be kicking his heels and crying all the way? I want him to be able to learn all he can learn, all he wants to learn, but I do so want him to make friends. Gain more grumpton.

I am thinking if preschool is so cookie-cutter, then what options does he have for primary school education?

I"m SO GLAD to have read your posts because they have given me new perspectives to really look at DS1 as an individual, and how do I, in my determination to let him be all he can be, help him be happy with himself when he grows up.

Sorry, I realise this is a really long post! but I really appreciate all your comments. Thank you!!

[mosster]

after reading my own post, I wonder if I am nuts. After all, it is only just nursery after all... right?

[2ppaamm]

mosster:

after reading my own post, I wonder if I am nuts. After all, it is only just nursery after all... right?

Hi, are you addressing this to anyone in particular? If so, please let us know, because it sounds like you are addressing your earlier post to someone. As I do post on this thread, if you are expecting a reply from me, please let me know.

In any case, I read your post and if I were to roll back on times, I'd probably do nothing differently, except spend more time with my child. There's really not much help out there for a severely gifted child, because the population is just so small, and the general education wisdom does not apply to kids who are THAT different. Can't really blame any system. Do further research and you will see the ones that stand out like Einstein, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mozart, Leonardo da Vinci... none of them are socially adept when they were young. They only got 'worshipped' when their gifts are found and flourished.

I've come to terms that perhaps my child is made this way because there's something bigger than what I can see for him. Perhaps. Schools look for perfection in our kids, which is not possible. I gave a doctor friend this advice, and it was she who reminded me again, that, \"You must be on your child's side, because no one else will be. No matter what others say, you know him the best.\"

Live with the fact that your child will never blend in, I've learnt that if I crave that, then I'd be disappointed again and again. But instead, choose a few friends he can cultivate great friendships with. Live with the fact that the teachers will never understand, even if they have been teaching for 25 years. Check the numbers. 25 years of 50 gifted (top 1%) students a year, that's 1,250 students taught. If the child is one in a million, the teacher should have to teach 50 years to meet a child like him. Ha ha... that explains why they'll never know how to handle. So live with that.

In nursery, my daughter was never asked to learn spelling or tested spelling, because she was reading novels. The teachers initiated that. She was allowed to sit below the swing and bask under the sun with a book. In an international school when we were in China, she was teaching the Grade 2 (or primary 2) children reading when she was in K2 herself. So the teacher has to be creative and engage the child.

In the primary school, my boys had a lot of problems, but not the girls. So watch out for the boys. Really. I can't give any advice because all my experiences had been HORRIFYING, despite having sincere, experienced teachers. I don't think it'd be different in different schools. We just don't have enough teachers to teach with love, they have their KPI's ultimately.

Key is, be bold and be a mother to your very gifted child. Otherwise, the world will overwhelm him so much, he will become just another robot creation, waiting for others to think, and he will react. And the ones who think are not the brightest, but the most obedient in schools.

[phankao]

mosster:

My hubby and I have been thinking that perhaps sending him to a nursery would make him more independent and learn more social skills. Problem is all 5 schools we visited were not able/willing to adapt to his +s and -s. Even the school we finally settled on, we are taking a chance that they are truly as warm and adaptable as they claim. We know that, as in the playgroup that DS1 is already attending, he is not going to be learning much from nursery that he already knows in terms of head knowledge. I think if I teach him at home, he would probly learn more. All I'm hoping is in nursery school, he'll pick up social skills, and hopefully not new bad habits! I feel like I've not morally prepared him for school!!

<snip>

I am thinking if preschool is so cookie-cutter, then what options does he have for primary school education?

<snip>

Are you able to find a montessori-style workgroup that can work according to his ability instead?

[2ppaamm]

O, one more thing. To train the child to be more independent - try having more kids and having less time for each! You'll see a vast difference! :lol:

[jtoh]

2ppaamm:

O, one more thing. To train the child to be more independent - try having more kids and having less time for each! You'll see a vast difference! :lol:

:lol: So true.

[mosster]

2ppaamm,

Thanks for responding. I am open to all comments, but particularly I was hoping you could also give your perspective. I’m very inspired by how you find ways to open the options to your children. I am not afraid to take the road less travelled but sometimes, one must meet people like you so that one too can see the other paths that can be taken.

Right now, I am feeling stressed because I’m supposed to start nursery for DS1 the Monday after CNY but I am having such cold feet. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m afraid to let go, or is it my intuition telling me something. It is not going to be easy to send DS1 to school and settling him down there also because DS2 (even now at 1 yr) can only take my breastmilk because of his severe allergies and refuses bottles/cups etc so leaving DS2 with my mum has been very stressful for all of us. Actually because of DS2, I’ve not been away from DS2 or home for more than 3.5 hours since he was born because of his feeding.

Could you advice on the dilemma weighing on my mind now? Fundamentally, is it is better to send DS1 to nursery school or homeschool DS1? maybe till K1? or even P1? DS1 has a love for learning that I hope going to school will not squash. I do not want him to learn to be a robot as you call it. Yet if he stays at home with me, will he be less independent? Less socially adept? How to inculcate good social/life skills for DS1? Even if as you say, he is never going to blend in, then how to at least learn to get along with people. How did your DS1 become so socially adept? One thing that I keep trying to get DS1 to be is more loving to his younger brother.

Yes indeed, since I had DS2, I’ve had so much less time with DS1. Not sure whether it’s because he is growing up or because I have really less time for him, he is willing to play independently for longer periods nowadays.


phankao
Thanks for the suggestion. I have not checked out Montessori programmes so far as DS1 is not really a sensorial learner plus the Montessori schools in my area are so “hot” that I didn’t bother with the queues. How do these Montessori workgroups work? I’ll check them out on the net.

pingsped
Count me in if you are organising something too. Thanks!