Parents out there, please give me some advise, I'm blank

[3Boys]

sotongmom76:

I had a great cry alone by myself and was sleepless the whole nite. So I intent to have a talk with his teacher and see how can we work together.

I'll be strong and try to pay the dets which I had owned to the SP, HDB and phone line. Then from there, I'm going to plan out everything again, and be more hardworking looking for home based job which I can do in the nite and weekends.

Is your hubby(ex?) paying any child maintenance? Perhaps get him to understand your children's situation.

[TREX8]

Dear sotongmom76, now that you've mentioned that your child used to study in Malaysia Chinese school, it probably explains part of the reason why he's not enjoying school. Primary 6 is the year when Singapore children take the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE). Schools are rushing to finish teaching everything by end May and then it will be preparation for this examination. It is a very stressful year for Primary 6 students here, let along your boy who joined the Singapore system mid way.


Don't be too disheartened by your boy saying that he wants to go back to his father- I don't think he wants to leave you. Rather, it could be that he yearns to go back in time to when things were \"normal\" and familiar.

Anyway, it seems like there has been some positive:
1. You managed to have a good talk with your child
2. You are meeting up with your child's teacher and see if you can work together to help your boy
3. You have made the decision to quit the night job.

I think quitting your night job is a good decision. At least, in the evening, the children can come home to Mummy, have a good home cook meal, do their homework or watch TV with you etc. These are probably the things that you all have been doing when you were a stay-at-home mum in Malaysia. By being around in the evening, at least, you can restore some things that are \"familiar\" to your children.

All the best! 加油！

sotongmom76:

Thanks parent who came in here to advise and encourage me!

Yesterday I and my P6 boy had a talk. Because out of a sudden he told me that he wanted to go back to his dad's place.

I knew that he's not really willing to go back to his dad's place, so we had a talk just him and I.

Found out that, he said he's going to give himself up because he don't know whether he can make it through PSLE and he's unwilling going to school.

Because he felt sorry that he didn't do his homework and telling lies to him and felt that he had let his P5 teacher and P6 teacher down. He said he can't help being lazy and want to play. He said that since Monday, he don't have recess until the last 5 mins because his teacher asked him to stay in the class to read his Sci.

THEN, I realise that I'm TOTALLY WRONG. Ya, totally wrong. So now I think that I should give up my nite job, and spend times with the kids. I had told my other 3 children, they said that it's ok even through that they can eat bread or white rice.

I had a great cry alone by myself and was sleepless the whole nite. So I intent to have a talk with his teacher and see how can we work together.

I'll be strong and try to pay the dets which I had owned to the SP, HDB and phone line. Then from there, I'm going to plan out everything again, and be more hardworking looking for home based job which I can do in the nite and weekends.

[sotongmom76]

3Boys:

Is your hubby(ex?) paying any child maintenance? Perhaps get him to understand your children's situation.

he supposed to and he did in till feb 2010....then he disappeared....

[lisadrome]

Hope all is better with your house and family situation...


How are you finding yourself now w/o having to go for the night shifts and spending time with your children? Love to hear that?

Sharing with you a motivational take to life for a parent:
I recently read smt on parent pyramid: \"Parents weren't meant to spend most of their time correcting their children, How do we help things go right, instead of react when things go wrong?\"

I have a pdf and am willing to pass it to you or anyone whom wants it... my email is [email protected]. Just att to me and say smt like you want to read the Parenting Pyramid pdf.

Thnks![/img]

[fussyMummy]

sotongmom76:

....I'll be strong and try to pay the dets which I had owned to the SP, HDB and phone line. Then from there, I'm going to plan out everything again, and be more hardworking looking for home based job which I can do in the nite and weekends.

Hi sotongmom76,

Stay strong , gal. :celebrate: Give you 101% moral support~

You arent alone!

[annachung.05739kimeng.05739com]

sotongmom76:

As from my last tropic, I'm a single mom with four malaysian children. We've resettled back to singapore since dec 2009.


I've not been working for the last 13yrs. So now I've started working and my children are schooling.

In the 1st place, I tot that everything will goes right and smoothly but think I was wrong now when I received a call yesterday and just saw a post \"You don't know what you have until it’s gone\".

Last year I'm working as a clerk with salary of S$1,300 without CPF. So it's not enough to cover the expenses espically the children are foregin. I've taken up another job as a part time cashier at nite. As to make the timing properly, I've talk to my boss, that I'll be working 8am to 4pm so I would be able to start work at 5pm till 10pm there.

She had agreed but of course, with my salary down to S$1,000 with CPF.

I really tot everything will be fine as I had a good talk with my children tat they'll take care of themselves.

BUT I had received a call from the science teacher that my P6 son is getting lazy and didn't pass up homework and even telling lies.

I was really stunned....my mind was blank striaght.

I don't know what to do....cause, if I don't work the part time cashier, then we'll have not enough money to surive.

If I continue working, then I'll lost connection with my children.

I know that my children are quite indepentant but I felt sorry that they don't have a dad and now it seems like they don't have a mom too.

I've a P6 son going to have his PSLE, and things really croop out different as I've planned.

What can I do?????????????????

You aren't alone. M going thru a difficult time alone with my P6 boy since 2009. My siblings ALL in malaysia. In-law side...all very good in lip service advice but no action. Must be strong & hang on there! for the sake of ur childrens. Don't give up! Must seek your childrens understanding, very important. Hope i can be of some help to you. PM me.. perhaps i can offer u some adv. (pray )

[fussyMummy]

AC:

.... Hope i can be of some help to you. PM me.. perhaps i can offer u some adv. (pray )

Hi AC,

Dont PM can..

Share share your adv too... please

Or else, I am going to PM you, very soon..

[buds]

3Boys:

sotongmom76:

I had a great cry alone by myself and was sleepless the whole nite. So I intent to have a talk with his teacher and see how can we work together.

I'll be strong and try to pay the dets which I had owned to the SP, HDB and phone line. Then from there, I'm going to plan out everything again, and be more hardworking looking for home based job which I can do in the nite and weekends.

Is your hubby(ex?) paying any child maintenance? Perhaps get him to understand your children's situation.

Yah, child maintenance is definitely some help. He is after all, the father
of the child. You are Singaporean, right? Have you approached any CDC
for help? Some faith-based-bodies also offer some monetary and home
supplies help to needy families.. i volunteered some years back with a
handful of underprivileged children so each of them shared their probz
and solutions offered to them.. and important thing is, don't stop trying
to seek help if you need it. :snuggles: There are also some churches
and non-profit bodies that offer free tuition that your child may attend
to help out with his weak areas.

[gumiho]

HI sotongmon76,


I would suggest you approach your MP.
Maybe they are able to help you to solve your problem.

[Anna Ng]

If you are Singaporean, convert your children to citizen also.