Children Suicide Cases
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eyktay:
May be you can read these articles posted by Insider.Maybe we should find ways to help a child manage stress.
Anyone has any sharing?
My 7yo gets stressed very easily as I find him quite a perfectionist.....
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3165&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0&sid=e7935c854f99a9412087669b397ee13a
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3165&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=10 -
just learn from another thread that a P4 had jumped to his death from 15th floor, in this SA period, could it be for bad result?
PLEASE, spare your kids, don't sacrifice them because of your face...
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4415&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=420 -
http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_551379.html
TWO Pioneer Junior College classmates died within three weeks of one another by leaping from high-rise blocks of flats about a year ago, a coroner's court heard on Thursday.
Ho Yi Xin, 17, was described as a hard-working student with high expectations of herself. Her ambition was to be a doctor.
The second-year Pioneer Junior College student had been seeing a private psychiatrist since June last year as she was feeling anxious in school and at home. She had problems sleeping and could not concentrate on her studies.
Her last visit to the psychiatrist was on July 3 - the day she was found dead at the foot of Block 533 Jelapang Road in Bukit Panjang. She was believed to have fallen from the 24th storey of the block as her silver-coloured bag was found there.
At an inquiry into her death, the court heard that Yi Xin, an introvert, had confided in her classmate around May last year that she was depressed over a detention form given by her favourite teacher for being late.
Seventeen days later, her classmate, Wong Peek Yian, leapt to her death from her seventh-floor bedroom window at Jurong West Street 81. Peek Yian had found out that she had done badly in her mid-year examination and dreaded to see her vice-principal over her poor performance.
A few hours before her death leap, she had sent text messages to her boyfriend, full-time national serviceman Valentino Lee, 19, telling him that her teacher had advised her not to see him too often.
State Coroner Victor Yeo recorded a verdict of suicide on both deaths. He felt that their deaths were a sad coincidence and there was no evidence to suggest that Peek Yian was emboldened to follow Yi Xin in her footsteps.
In school, teacher has been discussing with dd and class about suicide. Recently, they talk about it again. The teacher was telling them, \"Everyone has to go through hardship to be a better person and it is when you are at the bottom of the bottom, you would appreciate life and be happy.\" DD was telling me \"Its ridiculous that we need to be taught by a teacher, how to be happy\". I told her, \"What to do, you all this Y generation kids, nowadays, everytime emo here and there.\" -
A local primary school student shocked his classmates when he broke down in class and threatened to jump off the building.
The 12-year-old dashed out of the classroom and dangled half his body out the fifth-floor corridor railing before a teacher managed to pull him in.
The incident occurred last Wednesday afternoon at a primary school in Tampines.
When interview, the teacher who declined to be named, said the primary six student suddenly “lost control” in class and began crying and screaming, scaring his classmate and teacher.
He then rushed out of the classroom and leaned over the railings. A physical education teacher who was nearby managed to catch hold of his legs and pulled him back in time.
Students in adjacent classes were alarmed by the commotion and stepped out of their classrooms to see what was happening.
After he was pulled to safety, the boy received counselling for more than an hour that same afternoon. But he seemed restless and requested for breaks to get food and water from the canteen, the teacher told local Chinese paper, Wanbao.
“He seemed to have calmed down by then, and was seen laughing with his classmates and teacher.”
According to sources, it was reported that the boy had an outgoing character and was mischievous. Parents of students at the school who were interviewed say they had heard of the incident from their children.
“The child may not really intend to commit suicide, but was just being naughty”, said one parent.
Students these days are more influenced by the media, according to a counsellor interviewed by the same paper. “Whereas before, children were more ‘innocent’, the kids these days are more exposed to negative influences from the media”, he said.
They may copy what they see from TV or the Internet, without fully realising the consequence of their actions. “It could also be that the child is under tremendous pressure due to the Primary School Leaving Examination (PLSE), or he could be facing family problems that led to his outburst.”
He said it is important that schools make it easier for students to consult their teachers or counsellors at school when they have a problem.
Feeling troubled or depressed?
Here are the numbers you can call:
» Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1800-221-4444
» Family Service Centre: 1800-838-0100
» Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
» Care Corner Mandarin Counselling Centre: 1800-353-5800
» Touchline (Touch Youth Service): 1800-377-2252 -
I feel really sad reading all these cases and as an educator, I had to help a few of near suicide cases. It is very difficult and stressful to have such students in class and I’d outline my encounters here.
The student was from China and it was her final semester in the uni. She was taking one of my courses in her graduating class. This was a strange student. She appeared only three or four classes out of a total of 15. She’d turn up for her presentation and then asked to leave because she had to see another prof. How can that be? There should never be a clash of classes.
For the last presentation, she was missing again. This time, she sent me a note to say that she was in Europe and she could not make it back. Her things were stolen and she had to go to the Police station to settle stuff and she showed me some police document in a foreign language.
Despite all these, she passed her two exams I gave. But the exams accounted for only 35% of the final grade.
I failed her in order to maintain the university’s standing, and to be fair to all the rest of the class.
When she received her results, she sent me really nasty notes to say that it was absurd to fail her, that she had a job waiting etc etc. (Then why did she do all these strange things??) And, she even got her group mates to vouch that she was in class and it was the TA who did not mark her attendance. Of course, that cannot be true, because despite having a huge class, I always remember every face in or not in class. Nobody knew I record that mentally every class.
She then threatened suicide and how she had been depressed throughout the term. Now, this is really hard to handle. What would you do?
Well, as a standard policy, I moderated everyone’s result in class to give them better grades. I did the same for her. Even after moderation, she fell short of a ‘D’ that would give her a pass. I asked her to do an extra assignment and she graduated.
As for her team-mates who wanted to ‘help’ her by lying, they all were given a chance to tell the truth. Those who did would get a moderation like the rest of the class, and those who did not wouldn’t. All of them did.
I did not know how else to handle a case like this, I just did not want ‘blood’ in my hands. Also, I thought I could find a way to ensure fairness to the rest of the students and uphold the university’s integrity. It is never easy dealing with suicidal cases. I had a few more. Will write about them when I get the time.
In all the cases I have to handle, the backgrounds are almost always different. But it always involved a very smart and capable student who was embarked in some difficulties at the point in time. And almost always, they were successful all their lives, they were normally very good students from good families. Sadly, it is these good families that did them harm. Most of these student never encountered failure. Their lives have been sheltered and planned for by their sincere parents, tutors, teachers and government.
One of the things I believe we should always do for our children is to allow them to fail once in a while. If they are used to small failures, big failures are not difficult to handle. Educators, parents and the government should not look to punish or handle every small failure, the students know and will fix them. Learning to fail is a life skill many Singaporeans have not learnt through our perfectionist education system. We at the tertiary institutions are often at the receiving end of this lack. -
2ppaamm:
So true.
In all the cases I have to handle, the backgrounds are almost always different. But it always involved a very smart and capable student who was embarked in some difficulties at the point in time. And almost always, they were successful all their lives, they were normally very good students from good families. Sadly, it is these good families that did them harm. Most of these student never encountered failure. Their lives have been sheltered and planned for by their sincere parents, tutors, teachers and government.
One of the things I believe we should always do for our children is to allow them to fail once in a while. If they are used to small failures, big failures are not difficult to handle. Educators, parents and the government should not look to punish or handle every small failure, the students know and will fix them. Learning to fail is a life skill many Singaporeans have not learnt through our perfectionist education system. We at the tertiary institutions are often at the receiving end of this lack. -
After reading all these articles, I’d better not push DD too hard, though much as I want her to excel in her studies, I feel education is not everything. Ultimately, we want our kids to be happy, healthy and lead a normal life, instead of breaking down and we live our life in regrets.
I have seen life examples where kids break down just before PSLE and all efforts go to nought. The once bright and intelligent kids were not even able to sit for their PSLE and ended up seeking psychiatric treatment. What a pity. -
Happy Mama:
The irony is that PSLE is not important in our lives at all. I remember topping my PSLE but it did nothing for me.After reading all these articles, I'd better not push DD too hard, though much as I want her to excel in her studies, I feel education is not everything. Ultimately, we want our kids to be happy, healthy and lead a normal life, instead of breaking down and we live our life in regrets.
I have seen life examples where kids break down just before PSLE and all efforts go to nought. The once bright and intelligent kids were not even able to sit for their PSLE and ended up seeking psychiatric treatment. What a pity.
What else is not important: 'O' Levels, 'A' levels, competitions, exams. But these ARE very important. Why do our kids have to go through these? IMHO, to instill discipline, the value of hardwork, etc etc. But if we let the end result become our only target and motive, we will push them over the edge.
Let's all be careful, whether we are parents, friends, relatives, educators or in siblings. Everyone needs a break once in a while. -
2ppaamm:
Totally agree, and yes, thanks for the reminder, cos CA1 is just round the corner.
The irony is that PSLE is not important in our lives at all. I remember topping my PSLE but it did nothing for me.Happy Mama:
After reading all these articles, I'd better not push DD too hard, though much as I want her to excel in her studies, I feel education is not everything. Ultimately, we want our kids to be happy, healthy and lead a normal life, instead of breaking down and we live our life in regrets.
I have seen life examples where kids break down just before PSLE and all efforts go to nought. The once bright and intelligent kids were not even able to sit for their PSLE and ended up seeking psychiatric treatment. What a pity.
What else is not important: 'O' Levels, 'A' levels, competitions, exams. But these ARE very important. Why do our kids have to go through these? IMHO, to instill discipline, the value of hardwork, etc etc. But if we let the end result become our only target and motive, we will push them over the edge.
Let's all be careful, whether we are parents, friends, relatives, educators or in siblings. Everyone needs a break once in a while.
-
2ppaamm:
I feel really sad reading all these cases and as an educator, I had to help a few of near suicide cases. It is very difficult and stressful to have such students in class and I'd outline my encounters here.
I share your sentiments, 2ppaamm.
There was one from my old neighbourhood where everyone
heard of this student... a P4 student no less... who jumped
from his flat after receiving his SA2 results. As a neighbour
i was feeling kinda spooked... as a parent i felt scared for
my children and what the stress of future education may
bring... our hearts go out to the parents of that student.
It must be very very hard for them...2ppaamm:
Now this is really creepy. I wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully if i were inNow, this is really hard to handle. What would you do?
your shoes, 2ppaamm. :snuggles: I mean it happened right smack in your
face and there you are trying to internalize what just happened and what
to do at the same time! :faint: I :salute: you for not crumbling under that
pressure given to you and managed to solve it eventually. Yes i agree... i
wouldn't want that kinda blood stained on me either. I'd be spooked for
life that i may just end up :siao:...2ppaamm:
Would love to hear them.. so that i can learn from these experiences andI had a few more. Will write about them when I get the time.
take a step back and analyze things, should i sense similar behaviours from
ppl i know.2ppaamm:
Yes i agree. Even at preschool level i sense perfectionistas who really try tooIn all the cases I have to handle, the backgrounds are almost always different. But it always involved a very smart and capable student who was embarked in some difficulties at the point in time. And almost always, they were successful all their lives, they were normally very good students from good families. Sadly, it is these good families that did them harm. Most of these student never encountered failure. Their lives have been sheltered and planned for by their sincere parents, tutors, teachers and government.
hard. For instance there was one girl i used to teach starting from phonics &
reading class then continued up to grammar/comprehension and later on to
creative writing... Her mom said she nvr had trouble with this girl with regards
to revision. She would be at it on her own diligently and she took pride in
always finishing first and getting them right... at all times. Once she wrote
an alphabet reverse way... how one wud see it in mirror image and she reali
kicked herself over it... she took her pencil case and hit her head a few times
with it and said stupid... stupid... stupid... and requested a re-test for she did
actually (technically) get it right if not for that accidental mistake. I did not
allow it for it wud be unfair to the other children. That session another boy
scored full marks so tt meant she was 2nd. She cried, refused to say gdbye
to me and her frenz and stomped off. Her mom rang me later to ask if i could
pacify her for she had utmost respect for me and enjoys my lessons a lot.
So i did a re-test for her in private the following week before the lesson began..
Bbuuuutt, on the condition that she knows this is just so that she \"can\" show
me that she can do it all perfectly, which of course she did lar. Techinically,
she did get it all right except for one letter that was written incorrectly. She
loved it when she got praises like \"excellent\"... but refused to accept the \"hey,
it was a good effort\" ones. She's the sorta girl who wants to get it right the 1st
time round. I didn't know how i helped her but i knew i couldn't let her beat
herself up for it. She just needed a proper closure (for herself) so that she
could continue with the days normally... as her usual chirpy self. She still is
as kiasu as when i knew her when she was just a little girl... neat as heck..
and stingy with her stuff when it came to lending them to her untidy brother.
She has many frenz... in a leadership position in school.. and needless to say
in one of the top classes in her secondary school.. She enjoys it. A lot! Still
happy being the perfect her.
We are still in touch for her mom and i sowed our seeds of friendship from pre
school days until now. :love: It's nice to see how the children i've taught have
grown... and grown well too.
Her mom likes to tell her that if not for me,
she wouldn't even have known how to read as the mom was very busy with
work back then and didn't have much time for her.
I encouraged my friend to engage her in conversation more often for she is
now a teenager. My friend takes time off to bring her shopping and do girl
stuff together... without her siblings. She enjoys that too. I shared with my
friend that she needs to have consistent bonding with her so that should any
thing out of the blue that seems off with her... she'd know and be quick enuff
to detect it. While she bawled away in school when receiving her PSLE result
then, ( my friend thought she failed! :faint: ) even when she got good grades
but cannot go to the top schools she dreamt of going with her primary school
friends.
The situation with our relationship is reverse now... for my friend now shares
with me the pre-teen attitudes to seek out and expect with the regular teen
these days... and i cannot thank her more for that as my DD1 is approaching
teen-hood. My friend always says, haiyah.. no need to thank.. we're friends..
we share all the good and the bad the horrible and the ugly... to the funnies.
So, we look out for each other & we look out for both our children... when we
can.2ppaamm:
Agree. Parents should refrain from coming in to fix the problem all the timeOne of the things I believe we should always do for our children is to allow them to fail once in a while. If they are used to small failures, big failures are not difficult to handle. Educators, parents and the government should not look to punish or handle every small failure, the students know and will fix them.
for our children for they will somehow get around to fixing it. So unless it is
a matter that cannot be resolved without our intervention, we should take
the back seat once in awhile. Children can deal with problem solving fine...
more than we credit them for.
Like i knew my DD2 forgot to bring her music book that day cos i peeked
when she packed. All i said was, \"Did you pack everything? Did you check?\"
So, when she said confidently, \"All done already mom. I double checked!\" I
let her be.. she called me during recess to say, she should have triple checked.
She got a warning from the teacher for forgetting but got to share a book with
her friend. I asked if she blamed me if she knew that \"i\" knew she forgot the bk,
her reply was, \"It is not your fault mummy. I should have checked again especially
when you gave me question-clues earlier before we left. I \"will\" definitely not
forget it again cos the teacher warned me in front of everyone.\" :oops:2ppaamm:
While learning to fail for DD1 shook her up from her lackadaisical attitude forLearning to fail is a life skill many Singaporeans have not learnt through our perfectionist education system. We at the tertiary institutions are often at the receiving end of this lack.
learning and made her more careful... diligent... and motivated... it made my
friend's DD more perfect than she already was. It works both ways depending
on the nature of the children i suppose. Whatever it is, as parents and yes as
an educator, children should know regardless of passing or failing... life is not
over and that we are still here for them if they need us. :hugs: Just like how,
you 2ppaamm was there for your students. Very happy it all turned out well
for you AND of course the students. :snuggles:
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