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    In-law problems?

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    • K Offline
      KSmom8
      last edited by

      Fortunately I don't need to leave my kids at my in-laws, even though they are the only grandchildren. Neither have my in-laws ever offered to look after them... My in-laws just want to come every now and then and play with the kids. So, if they antagonise me, I usually plan stuff to do during the weekends so that we won't be home or need to go to their place. :shock:


      Just can't stand their remarks, they will say stuff like \"I told you not to have wooden flooring, why did you do it?\" ... after the renovation is complete and the wooden floor installed. Of course, before the renovation, they will tell me a list of what I should do. How to respond to that kind of remark without being rude? Silently, I'm yelling \"it's my house and my choice what flooring I want, don't interfere... anyway, what's the point of passing these remarks after the renovation is complete. I'm not obliged to take your 'advice'!\" FYI, my wooden flooring is over 10 years and in much better condition than their flooring!

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      • janet88J Offline
        janet88
        last edited by

        KSmom8:
        Just can't stand their remarks, they will say stuff like \"I told you not to have wooden flooring, why did you do it?\" ... after the renovation is complete and the wooden floor installed. Of course, before the renovation, they will tell me a list of what I should do. How to respond to that kind of remark without being rude? Silently, I'm yelling \"it's my house and my choice what flooring I want, don't interfere.

        I know what you mean...I had comments passed about my kitchen door, toilet doors...crap she said like, 'This type of door with glass, so hard to clean. Why make this kind of door ?' In my heart I am screaming...did I ask you to clean ? I'm the one paying for renovation. Never asked you for any comments either.

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        • B Offline
          BB cream
          last edited by

          Jus wanna share my story, I not in the good terms with my sil. My elder sil has been staying with us since she is divorce. 2 years back when I gave birth to my boy, she keep on bringing her new bf back to my hse to stay, I hv a feeling she will told her mum tat she will say want to move in with her once she re-married. Really, she -say she want 2 move in, but I hv stop her by creating a big fight. But after she married, she purposely bought the flat jus beside me. Really pissed me off, she even talk bad about me to my inlaw & hubby that I give her black face but she ok with it as not everyone has a big heart. Then I can sense my mil start giving me black face & say I disrespect her as I never welcome her precious daughter. I feel so sad, my mil have been staying with me for 10 overs hrs, I have been respecting her but in the end I being label as the bad person.

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          • B Offline
            baglady
            last edited by

            Wow I read some of the posts here and suddenly feel I’m quite lucky my in laws are nice!


            I don’t have alot of complaints about them, except that they spoil my son! I find it hard to tell them not to do certain things and always bug my hubby to tell them. Lucky he usually agrees with me, but sometimes he just shrug it off and that annoys me!

            The strange thing is now I’m closer to my in laws because they adore their grandchild and want to spend lots of time with him. But at the same time, it has also caused more friction.

            How do you tell them not to do certain things without offending them? My father in law is ok, but mum in law can be v sensitive sometimes. Sigh.

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            • janet88J Offline
              janet88
              last edited by

              baglady:
              The strange thing is now I'm closer to my in laws because they adore their grandchild and want to spend lots of time with him. But at the same time, it has also caused more friction.


              How do you tell them not to do certain things without offending them? My father in law is ok, but mum in law can be v sensitive sometimes. Sigh.
              Bcos of the closeness, there may be more friction esp where pampering of kids and in-laws tend to be sensitive, so can't tell them not to do certain things even though it's not right.

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              • kyleneK Offline
                kylene
                last edited by

                Now I have phobia in having another child. For me, it is an obligation to bring DD to my IL place for half a day every week and if we were to go on a holiday, we have to make up for that week using another day.[/quote]


                mine also like that. they come over on Wed afternoons, so if we are away, or if they go away. they would want "make-up" visits. so calculating.

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                • K Offline
                  KSmom8
                  last edited by

                  kylene:
                  Now I have phobia in having another child. For me, it is an obligation to bring DD to my IL place for half a day every week and if we were to go on a holiday, we have to make up for that week using another day.

                  mine also like that. they come over on Wed afternoons, so if we are away, or if they go away. they would want \"make-up\" visits. so calculating.[/quote]

                  Thank goodness, I don't have this obligation.... otherwise, I would have stopped at one child. I emphatise with and salute both of you.

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                  • K Offline
                    KSmom8
                    last edited by

                    janet_lee88:
                    KSmom8:

                    Just can't stand their remarks, they will say stuff like \"I told you not to have wooden flooring, why did you do it?\" ... after the renovation is complete and the wooden floor installed. Of course, before the renovation, they will tell me a list of what I should do. How to respond to that kind of remark without being rude? Silently, I'm yelling \"it's my house and my choice what flooring I want, don't interfere.


                    I know what you mean...I had comments passed about my kitchen door, toilet doors...crap she said like, 'This type of door with glass, so hard to clean. Why make this kind of door ?' In my heart I am screaming...did I ask you to clean ? I'm the one paying for renovation. Never asked you for any comments either.

                    Haha... my MIL also passed comments on my glass doors.... grilles, paint colour and almost everything else in the house.

                    When I was pregnant and in bed resting due to a medical condition, one of the most horrible comments my MIL made was \" Why is the floor so sticky?\" Sadly, a DIL is not a daughter to her. I can't imagine her even passing such remarks to her daughters.

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                    • janet88J Offline
                      janet88
                      last edited by

                      Mine here loves to pass remarks on everything. Which is why I don’t invite them over…what for? To hear more crap?

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                      • A Offline
                        auntieM
                        last edited by

                        My PRC SIL just passed away in Beijing… …my MIL too busy minding her mahjong to visit her or grandson… …bo chap totally… …

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